


All I Know

by JLaLa



Series: All I Know [1]
Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Complete, everlark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-14
Updated: 2012-08-14
Packaged: 2017-11-12 03:39:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 86,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/486252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JLaLa/pseuds/JLaLa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“That is your mother, Katniss Everdeen.” Katniss and Peeta reunite under the most difficult of circumstances.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Reunion

This story has been my head all night and for the past day so I have to write it down. This was inspired by a very big decision that my husband and I made together recently.

Thank you for all your support and alerts. I hope that you will continue to review.

All characters in the Hunger Games do not belong to me.

This storyline also has nothing to do with "Fires" though it could be interpreted that way.

I bruise you, you bruise me  
We both bruise too easily  
Too easily to let it show  
I love you, and that's all I know.

-Art Garfunkel

All I Know

By JLaLa

Chapter One: The Reunion

The buildings of the Capitol shone outside the window as Katniss stood reading the letter. It had arrived just five minutes ago but she still couldn't believe it. Haymitch had been sick for only a few months but the cirrhosis was so advanced that it didn't take long for him to go. As everyone knew, he had been drinking for years.

Her mind wandered to the last time she saw him. He was looking outside his window when she left. He made no move to stop her but even in the darkness of night she could see his eyes shining in disappointment.

Katniss couldn't blame him.

Haymitch had written begging her to come back when she first left but she was still in pain. Her nights were full of nightmares and she woke up screaming for those first few months. Often she would search for his strong arms and sweet kisses when these nightmares came but she reminded herself that she was the one who left him.

Her mentor had been sending her letters these past few months. Mostly to tell her that he was sick but also asking—no pleading for her to come. They had their own issues with one another that still needed to be resolved and the dying man wanted to address them. Mostly Haymitch had wanted Katniss to see him—her eyes closed and she could see his bright blue eyes.

"Katniss?" She turned to find Gale standing there looking at her. Without thought, she ran into his arms and he wrapped his arms against her thin form. "What happened?"

She pulled away. "Haymitch is gone." Katniss didn't even realize that she was crying until she saw the wet blotches on her friend's shirt. "He begged me to come Gale. I was too much of a coward to do it and now it's too late."

Gale took the letter from her and read it. His eyes widened to see who it was from. After putting it down on a nearby table, he took her in his arms again. "I'm so sorry." He smoothed down her hair. "Do you want me to come with you?" She nodded looking up at him. "Johanna is on her way back. We will all take the train together. Now go pack."

Katniss walked to her room and he sighed to himself. She had changed so much over the last few years. She was painfully thin and the muscle that she had once built was now non-existent. The girl he loved was non-existent replaced with this waif of a woman. Years of nightmares left her skittish and he knew that whatever the doctors were giving her was not helping.

Gale reached for the phone to call Johanna. She always knew what to do.

The said letter on the table was short but had sent them all into a tailspin.

Katniss,

Haymitch is gone. Burial is this weekend. Please. Please come.

-Peeta

++++++

Johanna put a blanket on her best friend before joining Gale who was sitting by the window. Katniss laid in a pill induced sleep. Goodness knows that she needed it. When Katniss came to her four years ago, she was broken. Johanna was never used to laying down roots or anything but her friend needed her. They decided to buy a place together in District One because Katniss wanted to be as far away as she could.

Four years later, Katniss was just as broken and the girl who had fought and won the Hunger Games seemed to be gone.

Johanna was different too. She against her better judgment began to care. She cared for the woman who was sleeping on the seat across from her.

She looked at Gale who simply put his arm around her. She cared for him too. More than she wanted to.

"How long was she crying when you found her?" she asked when she had settled against him.

"Maybe a few minutes. She didn't even notice that she was." Gale looked out the window at the passing landscape. He himself had not been to District 12 in years. He wondered how his family was. His brothers and sister had all grown up without him. "We haven't been there in years."

"They probably think you ran off and married each other," she joked. It wasn't a big secret that everyone thought that Gale and Katniss were together. What people didn't know was that while he was staying at their place, it was Johanna's not Katniss's bed that he slept in.

She didn't feel the need to correct people but there were times when she felt a twinge of something seeing them together. Johanna didn't expect Gale to run through the Capitol streets declaring his affection for her but she didn't want him to ignore that she too was important to him.

"It could've happened but we aren't the same," he replied honestly.

There was that damn twinge again.

"Not to mention there is always that blond, blue eyed elephant in the room."

Sometimes when she was annoyed or angry at Katniss, she wanted to point out the obvious. Katniss was the one who had left Peeta. She was the one who took a midnight train out to District 2 where Johanna had been living and asked tearfully to stay.

"You don't understand what she's been through," Gale argued and Johanna shook her head. They were two peas in a pod.

"She needs to realize that she is the one who made herself this way," Johanna responded. "I love Katniss but it was her choice to take off and she has to live with that. You can't always argue that it was because of the Games, or Peeta, or her nightmares. It's time for her to confront this. You can't hold her up all the time."

Johanna knew that she sounded almost like—she hated the word—like a girlfriend but she had to have some dignity. She didn't act catty or jealous but Gale always brought that out of her.

Gale pulled her close. "You're right. I will not interfere." He kissed the top of her cropped hair. "Are you jealous? You know it's not like that with Katniss and me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she replied laughing to herself. They turned to see that the sun was rising and they found themselves looking at the gray tinge of buildings that were District 12.

++++++

Katniss awoke when she felt the jerk of the train. They were here.

"Good morning lovely," Johanna said as she sat up. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been dragged against the tracks."

"You look like you have been," she replied and joined Katniss where she was sitting. Taking her long braid apart, she ran her hands through Katniss's thick hair to rid it of the tangles. Then she began a newer neater braid. When she was finished, she arrange her friend's bangs so she looked at little bit more presentable. "There. Now you look like the scowling girl I met at the Games." Katniss managed a small smile and Johanna squeezed her friend's hand.

Gale entered after washing up to find the two women together. He had contemplated how he was going to introduce Johanna to her family. She never really mentioned it and he didn't know if it was the best time to bring it up.

"Where will we be staying?" Johanna asked when he sat back down.

"Haymitch's," he replied. "My mom has been cleaning for him for years. She wanted to see if there was anything that Katniss might want that were his."

Katniss looked at her friend. "I don't think I will."

"Well it's a nice house and we will be comfortable while we are here," Johanna supplied.

Katniss looked down. "Is Peeta still living there? In Victors Village?" Her voice sounded wistful.

"I have no idea Catnip," he replied affectionately. She smiled. It was nice to hear the old nickname.

Katniss felt shaky when her feet touched the ground. It had been four years since she had come back. It was comforting and frightening to smell the old familiar scents of her childhood home. Carrying her bag, she joined her two friends who were standing side by side.

It was nice to see them together.

The trio walked towards the main square of the town where the townspeople where just beginning their day. Needless to say they all made an impression as they walked pass the familiar stores. They could hear the whispers as they walked passed people. Gale waved at a few of the people he knew.

Her stomach clenched when she saw a building that was definitely familiar to her. She could see the sign hanging saying "Mellark". Katniss stopped for a moment finding it hard to breathe.

Tears filled her eyes as the scent of bread filled her nostrils. "I don't know if I can do this."

"Is that his place?" Johanna said and put her arm around her friend. Katniss nodded and put her hands over her face as she breathe deeply.

"I think Posy is working there." He went over to his friend and lifted her chin. "Maybe we should just head over to Victors Village. You don't look well at all."

"I can do this Gale," Katniss said after a moment. "It's not like I can avoid every area of District 12 in fear that he will be there. I have to face him sooner or later."

"Hey Katniss." Peeta. She felt something ache inside of her.

"I guess it's sooner rather than later," Johanna muttered to Gale. "Hey Peeta!" She walked over to the man and gave him a hug. "You're looking good. Been lifting those flour sacks, haven't you?"

"Not as much but I have other things to keep me busy," he replied still staring at Katniss. "Nice to see you Gale." He walked over to the other man to shake his hand. "Posy is inside the bakery if you want to see her. With Zoe."

"Zoe? That's her name?" Katniss suddenly said.

Since he was standing in front of her, she could finally look him over. He was still broad but a little taller. His hair was darker blond but his eyes were still the same blue. After all this time, she still loved to look at them. However, as he looked at her she could see that they were expressionless. Once they shone bright for her.

"Someone had to name her," he replied harshly. Katniss shrunk back and felt herself back into Gale's chest. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and she could see Peeta's eyes narrow.

"Who's Zoe?" Johanna asked.

The door to the bakery jingled and they watched as a little girl rush over to Peeta clutching a white bag. She was around four or five. Her complexion was pale and her eyes were bright blue. Her face was heart shaped and her nose was pert. She was wearing a pair of dungarees and an olive jacket with the smallest pair of boots that Katniss had ever seen.

Her most distinguishable quality was the long dark hair that was in a single braid down her back.

"She looks like—"Gale couldn't even finish his sentence.

"Daddy." The little girl held up her bag excitedly. "Miss Posy made blueberry muffins but she said that I had to share with you." She turned to them with a smile and Katniss's heart almost stopped. "I don't have enough muffins for the rest of you."

"That's okay," Johanna said with a laugh and grinned at Peeta. "Cute kid."

"My name is not Kid! It is Zoe," the little girl retorted. Gale couldn't help but laugh at the fire that burned in the girl's eyes.

"Manners Zoe," Peeta said to her affectionately. "Remember what Miss Effie told you the last time she was on the phone with you."

"I will do the 'manners' part but not the dress wearing part," Zoe stated. "Who are they?" She pointed to the three.

Peeta knelt down so that he was the same height as Zoe. "That over there is Mr. Gale, he is Miss Posy's big brother." He pointed to Gale who waved to her with a gentle smile. "Next to him is Miss Johanna."

"Hey Zoe." Johanna greeted her.

"Who is she?" The little girl pointed to Katniss bouncing from where she stood. "We have the same hair!"

"That is your mother, Katniss Everdeen."


	2. Manners and Arguments

Once again, this all doesn't belong to me.

I usually keep my blabbering till the end of the chapter so see the end for the author notes.

Run, run, run away

Buy yourself another day

A cold wind's whispering secrets in your ear

So low only you can hear…

-The Civil Wars ("Kingdom Come")

All I Know

By JLaLa

Chapter Two: Manners and Arguments

"That's not mommy," Zoe stated as she walked towards Katniss. Her steps were light and he thought of how much it reminded him of Katniss whenever she hunted. "Mommy wears a red dress like the picture in my room. She is so pretty because she likes twirling just like I do."

She looked up at Katniss examining the woman. Taking her hand, she pulled it so that Katniss would be at eye level with her. The little girl tilted her head as she looked into Katniss's eyes.

Peeta resisted the urge to intervene. He knew that if he was even remotely close to Katniss, it would be impossible for him to not want to shake her or to kiss her.

Zoe put her hands on each cheek so that she was cradling Katniss's face. "We have the same mole here." She thumbed the mole by Katniss's right eye. "I think my mommy might be inside you. You look like her but more tired. Why are you crying?" Zoe pulled away from her concerned at the tears in Katniss's eyes.

Katniss smiled softly. "Because you are so pretty and it makes me very happy," she replied shakily.

Zoe took her hand. "Do you want to see my bakery, Miss Katniss?"

Katniss nodded and Zoe led her away.

Peeta's eyes followed her until she was in the bakery. He turned to see the shocked faces of Gale and Johanna.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Johanna asked. "I would've made her come back."

"She never told you?" he replied and put a hand behind his head. "Nice to know that we were so important to her."

"She was suffering too, "Gale said defensively and Johanna couldn't help but roll her eyes. He had already broken his promise by butting in.

"This is not our business," Johanna replied and put a hand to his chest.

"She's right, it isn't your business," Peeta said angrily. "Suffering? Where was she when her daughter was crying? Or when she was sick? Or took her first steps? When she smiles, she looks just like her mother. Do you know how hard it is to love and hate something at the same time?" They couldn't possibly understand these last four years.

They were silent for a moment. "I just don't understand why she wouldn't have said anything to either of us Jo." Gale looked forlorn and then turned to Peeta. "We would've made her come back."

"I don't know if I could have looked at her at that point," Peeta replied. "Haymitch wanted Katniss to come back not just for himself but for Zoe." He sighed. "I don't know if I would have wanted her to come back if he hadn't gone."

After a moment, he felt his anger ebb and turned to the couple. "Come. Zoe will wonder where we are."

When he entered he found Katniss at the counter. Zoe was showing her the different kinds of cookies that were on display. Their eyes met for a moment and he suddenly felt like the young boy who just wanted her to notice him.

Gale and Johanna followed hand in hand. Posy entered the front and Gale release Johanna's hand to hug his sister. "Gale!" Posy Hawthorne threw her arms around her brother and he lifted her off the ground. Her looks were similar to Katniss's, olive skin and dark eyes. "You need to visit more often. I've gone and grown up without you."

"So you have," he replied. He turned to look at Johanna. "Posy meet Johanna." The women shook hands and Gale left it at that. Johanna didn't seem perturbed by not being introduced as his lady friend.

"Daddy always makes my favorite cookie on my birthday," Zoe told Katniss. "They are shaped like Primroses. Will you come to my next birthday? I will be five." She was talking a mile a minute but Peeta could tell that Katniss was enjoying it.

"Zoe," he called to his daughter. "I think our guests are tired. Let's bring them to Grandpa Haymitch's house so they can rest." She nodded and jumped from her seat. Then she took Katniss's hand and then Peeta's pulling them to the door. Peeta opened the door so that they exit the bakery. Johanna and Gale followed behind after saying goodbye to Posy.

As his daughter chattered on, he looked over at Katniss. She was horribly slender, her skin looked paper thin and her eyes had darker circles underneath. Her smile was still the same. She wore black pants and a burgundy sweater. The outfit hung on her and he remembered her years earlier. Her body was lush and toned. He loved to run his hands against her skin until he couldn't resist pressing his lips against her.

When they reached Haymitch's home, he saw Katniss hesitate. She was looking up at the bedroom window as if she expected to see him there looking out for her. Before he knew it, Peeta found himself taking her hand and leading her to the house. He took her bag in his other hand. Zoe ran ahead of them so she could let Gale and Johanna in.

"I didn't know that they were together," Peeta said to her.

She turned to him curiously before replying. "There is no need for labels in District One so they don't really tell anyone they're involved. The people in the Capitol tend to believe whatever they want." As they walked she continued. "Most of them think that he's sleeping in my bed or that we all sleep in one bed. Doesn't really matter."

"Well are you?"

"No," she said stonily. "I don't sleep at all."

She tried to pull away but he held on. "You might need me once we get in there."

When they entered, Peeta led her into the living room where the couple was sitting on the couch listening Zoe tell them about the geese that she helped take care of. Pictures of Haymitch with Zoe were all over the place including one of him holding her as a newborn.

Peeta knew that he was right when she tightened her hold on him. He recognized the signs of her faltering and led her to the kitchen.

He offered her a seat before he got her a glass of water. "Thank you. You always knew when I needed you." She took a breath. "Please sit down Peeta." He joined her at the table. "Zoe is wonderful."

"She is," he replied."But she can be a handful. She has way of effecting people. No idea where she got it from." Peeta smiled at her.

"I know we have a lot to talk about," she said finally. "Let's get through the weekend then we can talk."

"How long are you here for?"

"For as long as you both want me or can stand me here," Katniss replied.

They were quiet for a moment. "We would have wanted you forever." Peeta stood up and walked out before he poured anymore of his heart out to her.

She had already taken so much.

++++++

When Peeta returned to Haymitch's living room, he found the Gale and Johanna still listening to his daughter. She never tired out of conversation. Zoe sat across from them with her legs cross and back straight; a trait that she inherited from her Miss Effie who emphasized that 'manners mattered'.

Effie who sometimes visited during District tours or to speak to schools about the former Hunger Games would come to badger Haymitch or dote on Zoe when she was in District 12. She called the little girl "a most perfect combination" of the two champions.

Zoe would beg Effie to tell her stories about her mother. Peeta sometimes wondered if he should be allowing his daughter to put Katniss on a pedestal but he couldn't break her heart. He thought he would just wait until she was older. When she could handle him telling her about the Hunger Games than he could tell her the toll it had taken on her mother. That in the end, she could not handle being a mother.

"Miss Effie says that you must always offer a beverage to your guests," she said. "I'm not allowed to touch any glasses so I can't offer you drinks."

"What's going on here?" Zoe turned to him and ran to his side.

"Your daughter has invited us over for drinks at your home," Johanna said using air quotes when she said "drinks". "What is Effie teaching her?"

"The perfect ratio between gin and tonic?" Gale supplied with laugh.

"Well I don't have drinks but I do have a cake," Peeta said and turn to see that Katniss had joined them. "Would you like to come over for some cake?" He was looking at her when he asked.

She nodded. "That would be nice," she said weakly.

The house that they were living in was her old house. The home that she had lived with Prim and her mother in and the one that she had walked out of four years ago.

"Can't wait to see your house Zoe," Gale said and picked her up. She screamed in delight and he hoisted her up so she was sitting on his shoulders. Johanna laughed along as they exited warning Zoe to duck when they were under the doorway.

Katniss and Peeta followed. She could feel him glower next to her. Katniss smiled at how much Zoe seem to be enjoying herself. It is what she had always wanted as a child, to be carefree.

Peeta noticed her soft smile. "Seeing what could have been?" he asked snidely not quite understand how his mood seem to be ever-changing with her.

She glared. "Let's try to be civil for a little bit," Katniss said.

It was hard to be on the tail end of four years of repressed anger. It was well deserved.

What right did she have to try to slip herself into her daughter's life? Her spirits sank at the thought that maybe she would never deserve a place in Zoe's or Peeta's life.

++++++

When they entered, she could smell the familiar scent of baked goods in the air. Looking around, she found that it was a mixture of photos of Zoe like in Haymitch's house and Peeta's paintings.

The living room which they all decided to sit in was comfortable and obviously lived in. When she had lived there, Katniss felt very little need to make improvements to the house. She liked that she could still feel Prim in the air.

The house now was full of a different life.

"Daddy, you are allowed to hold glass stuff so you can give cake and drinks to Mr. Gale and Miss Johanna. I want to show Miss Katniss my room."

She went to Katniss and took her hand. "Let's go."

The little girl led her up the stairs and Katniss looked at the wall adjacent to the stairs to see pictures of Zoe as she grew. Without me, Katniss thought bitterly.

At the top, Zoe pointed to the room to their left. "This is Daddy's room." She then pulled Katniss into the room across from Peeta's.

The room was large with two windows facing the backyard. Zoe's bed was a white four poster bed with an old worn quilt. Children's books were stacked neatly on a nearby bookshelf.

In one corner was a tent made of sheer, white sheets. The floor under the tent had a fluffy comforter and the wall was made of fluffy pillows. Zoe noticed where her eyes went. "Come sit inside with me."

Katniss complied and Zoe plopped down next to her. "It's very comfortable. Why did you decide to put it in this corner?"

Zoe put a pillow on her legs and turn to Katniss; her eyes were serious. "I put it here so I could talk to her." She pointed to the painting above her bed.

When she really looked at it, Katniss saw that it was indeed herself. She was twirling in her red interview dress, the bottom were flaring into flames. Her face was profiled so you could only tell that it was her by her signature braid.

"My daddy painted it," Zoe continued as she fiddled with her fingers. "There are no other pictures of her in the house. It makes him sad and he asks Grandpa Haymitch or Miss Posy to come see me when he gets too sad. Sometimes he asks me to stay in my room until he comes to get me." Zoe played with her braid. "That's only when he gets really, really sad."

"You are very brave, Zoe." She smoothed the girl's hair and felt how soft it was.

"Miss Katniss," the little girl began and turned to her. "Is my mommy still inside of you?" Her voice was hopeful.

Katniss's eyes watered and she nodded. Standing up, she held out her hand so Zoe could stand up with her. They went to the middle of the room where there was ample space.

Taking a breath, Katniss closed her eyes and began to twirl just as she had the night of her first interview with Caesar Flickerman. She twirled for her daughter until she began to feel dizzy. Breathing heavily, she turned to Zoe. "Now you try."

Zoe clapped in excitement and began to mimic her. Katniss joined her until they were both twirling together. Katniss put a hand on Zoe's shoulder. "Okay, I'm getting dizzy." She could tell her face was flushed and her braid was loosening letting a few tendrils of hair surround her face.

She looked down and found Zoe was staring at her. Katniss knelt down in front of the girl. "Are you alright Zoe?"

"There you are Mommy," Zoe said softly. "Where have you been?"

Katniss touched the girl's face, her hand was shaky. "I've been away Zoe."She felt horrible lying to her. In all honesty, she couldn't gather courage to tell Zoe that she left because she couldn't handle being her mother.

Zoe threw her arms around Katniss's neck and the woman closed her eyes. She inhaled her daughter's sweet scent. She smelt like lavender and she remembered that even as a baby she smelled like this.

"Will you stay with me?" her daughter asked.

Before she could think Katniss tightened her hold on Zoe and nodded. "Always."

She opened her eyes to see Peeta at the doorway.

He didn't look happy.

"Zoe, why don't you play up here for awhile?" Katniss pulled away from her daughter. It was hard to believe that she was actually allowing herself to say it. Her daughter. "We are going to have grown up talk downstairs." Katniss smiled at Zoe before following Peeta outside into the hallway.

"Not here," he sneered and grabbed her arm as they walked down the stairs sloppily. When they reached the bottom, he yanked her into the dining room. Johanna and Gale who were in the living room stood up when they saw what was going on.

Katniss rubbed the spot where Peeta held her. It would bruise tomorrow. He paced a little before turning to her, anger in his eyes. "You have no right to tell Zoe that."

"I am her mother." Katniss stood tall in response.

"No, you are not!" He continued. "You gave that right up when you walked out the door. She was only two weeks old. Two weeks. You couldn't even bother to stick around and give her a goddamn name!"

"I'm sorry." She didn't bother to filter her words. "I was scared."

He laughed. "Scared?" He threw his hands up. "Scared is not knowing where the mother of your child is. Scared is trying to be a father and mother to Zoe. Scared is knowing that I could possibly hurt Zoe if I had flashback. So don't talk to me about being scared. You don't even know half of we've been through."

"I think I love her," she said quietly more to herself than to anyone else. Katniss looked him in the eyes. "I could love her enough to stay."

Peeta looked down for a moment before meeting her eyes again. He looked broken. "But you didn't love me enough to raise her with me." Her mouth opened to speak and then closed. "I thought so. Don't say things that you don't mean Katniss."

Gale and Johanna entered the room. Gale put an arm around Katniss. "We'll be going now."

"It's been…weird," Johanna said. "We'll see you tomorrow at the burial."

Peeta nodded after a moment and they walked out of the house. He went to the front doorway and watched them walk across to Haymitch's. Katniss turned to look at him for a moment before turning away.

So ended her first day in District Twelve.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Author's Note: I know that's a lot of drama packed into a chapter. Peeta like I said has four years of repressed anger in him and it was bound to come out. I guess he couldn't hold it until after the burial! Peeta is clearly not a doormat. Maybe now that he's let it out, we can finally see them solve some of these issues.

Zoe was a little easier to convince because she didn't remember her mom being gone but she will have questions later on. It's kind of love at second sight for Katniss and Zoe.

One of my reviewers said that it was a little unrealistic that she would just leave her child due to depression. One of my friends actually went through a pretty intense case of post-partum depression and couldn't stand being alone with her baby. She didn't even want to hold him for almost a year. Her husband who was also my friend had to basically be mom and dad during that time.

Thinking with my Katniss brain, I thought that this could cause a fight or flight issue with her. Obviously she chose flight rather than confront her detachment. Don't know if this makes much sense but it got me thinking. We will get more into this as we go along.

Thank you to those reviewed. Please continue to do so because they keep me going. I love questions too!

Next: Goodbye Haymitch (sad face) and maybe a rival?

Did anyone else think that there should've been more cave action in the movie? LOL. I'm a perv sometimes.

-JLaLa


	3. Hello, Goodbye

Thank you! It's means a lot to me to look into my inbox and see all of your alerts and reviews! See the end of chapter for author's notes.

All characters do not belong to me. I just like to mess with them.

You've got your passion, you've got your pride  
but don't you know that only fools are satisfied?  
Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true  
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

-Billy Joel (Vienna)

Flashbacks in Italics.

All I Know

By JLaLa

Chapter Three: Hello, Goodbye

_The labor had been grueling for everyone._

_It had been almost a day since Katniss's water broke and now they were only a few moments away from seeing their child. Katniss was sitting up in bed in a long shirt as Peeta supported her back. Sweat ran down her face and her jaw was tight as she grit her teeth in pain._

_Peeta was excited-and yes it had taken a lot of convincing on his end but eventually Katniss had agreed to have the baby. During the long hours of labor, she had cursed him and called him every expletive that she had ever learned in her twenty-four years of life. She screamed for Prim, Rue, her mother and embarrassingly—Gale. At this point, she wouldn't even look at him. To her, this was all HIS fault._

_"Push Katniss," Greasy Sae said as she checked on Katniss's progress. Since Katniss had not spoken to her mother in quite awhile, the older woman had taken the reins as her midwife._

_Peeta placed a cool washcloth on Katniss's forehead. Angrily, she slapped his hand away. He bit his lip to hide any hurt that might have been seen on his face. "The head is out."_

_He could see that Katniss had reached the point that the pain was so intense that she had retreated into herself. The room was silent for a moment. Katniss bared down quietly only screaming when she felt the baby sliding out of her. The little one let out a shrill cry before Greasy Sae was taking it to be cleaned at a nearby changing table._

_Peeta sat on the bed and kissed her forehead. She gave him a weak smile. "Katniss, it's a girl," he said and his eyes were wet. He squeezed her hand before joining Greasy Sae. Through the blood and fluid, he could see that her hair was dark. She cried and her eyes opened revealing a brilliant blue. Peeta knew that there was a possibility that her eyes would changed but he hope they didn't._

_After Greasy Sae had cleaned her up, she handed her over to Peeta so that she could take care of Katniss. The baby squirmed for a bit but after he rocked her gently she settled into a deep slumber._

_He went to Katniss. "Look, she's finally here." Katniss's eyes were glazed as she focused on him. She didn't look at the bundle in his arms. Instead she turned away to her side, the light from the window hitting her pale face. Greasy Sae looked at him sympathetically._

_"Give her time," she said as she patted his arm. "It was a rough labor." He nodded and she looked down at the baby. Smiling fondly, she kissed his cheek. "Congratulations."_

"Daddy."

Peeta opened his eyes to see the said object of his dream looking at him. She was in her pink striped pajama and was clutching her stuffed duck. Tilting her head, Zoe smiled at him. "Morning Daddy!"

He grinned. "Morning, my Zoe." His Zoe. Not Katniss's. "Why are you up so early?"

She shrugged and he opened his blanket so that she could crawl in and snuggle against him. Her braid was unraveling so Peeta untied it and ran his fingers through her fine hair. He could tell that she was getting sleepy again by her sigh. Peeta never thought that he would be able to know someone's mood by their movements. He knew what every sigh, groan and giggle that Zoe made meant.

He sang to her softly as he continued to run his fingers through her hair.

"And after all the sky has fallen down  
And after all the water's washed away  
My love's the only promise that remains…"

When Peeta was done, he could hear Zoe's light snore and laughed to himself. Before going back to sleep, he thought about a pair of dark eyes that had walked back into their lives.

++++++

After a few hours of sleep, Peeta woke Zoe up and she glared at him as she sat up groggily. She put her thumb in her mouth which she often did when irritated. She had inherited Katniss's morning disposition for her mother was also not a morning person.

"You have to get up now," he told her as he stood.

"I don't wanna," she said as she removed the thumb from her mouth.

"Not even for pancakes?" Peeta said and tickled her chin.

She shook her head. He picked her up so that they were face to face. "Zoe, what's wrong?"

"We have to say goodbye to Grandpa Haymitch," she replied, her eyes were woeful. "Now we won't ever see him like we don't see Aunt Prim." His heart flooded with affection for his daughter. She did not understand death but knew it meant that you went away for a long time.

"What did Grandpa Haymitch tell you before he went to sleep?" Peeta tried to keep his voice from cracking.

Peeta and Zoe had stayed with Haymitch that last night of his life. He had asked for Katniss even though he knew she wouldn't come. Zoe laid next to the man who she had considered her grandfather and he told her the stories that she loved the most, the ones about her mother.

"He said that he was going to go to the sky," Zoe said solemnly. "That he would be watching over us to make sure that nothing bad would happen, just like he did for you and Mommy."

"Exactly," he replied and held her tight. "So you mustn't be too sad because it would make Grandpa Haymitch sad to see his one and only Zoe cry." She nodded but her lips were already quivering. He held her tighter. "Baby, it's okay." He let her cry into her shoulder. Peeta rocked her until she quieted.

"Daddy?" Her voice was muffled against her shoulder.

"Yes, my love?"

"Can I have blueberry pancakes?" Zoe pulled away and looked at him with watery eyes.

"Of course," he said with a smile.

It was their usual routine on Saturdays. He would make pancakes and entertain her with his pan flipping moves. No matter how many times he had done this for her, she always clapped in excitement. Peeta knew that one day she would be all grown up and these pancake tricks would no longer be interesting to her. He cherished this little bit of time.

He almost felt sorry for Katniss. She had missed so many beautiful moments in their daughter's life. He had to remind himself bitterly that she was the one who chose this.

After breakfast, they dressed for the burial. Peeta put on a black suit with a red tie then combed his hair back. He took a deep breath and tried to settle his nerves.

As he put on his black leather shoes, he thought about the last conversation he had with Haymitch. Peeta had promised that he would take of Haymitch's girls. "Especially that older one." He was referring to Katniss. "She needs more help than you know. Don't think that she left because of you. She has been fighting her demons for years."

Standing up, he went to Zoe's room. The little girl was already dressed. Wearing a grey dress with geese in front for the pockets, she looked lovely. Her long hair was loose and as usual Peeta sat on her bed so that he could braid her hair. He had learned the technique from Greasy Sae's granddaughter and now was a seasoned pro. After he was done, Peeta turned her around to make sure her bangs were neat.

He stood up and held his hand out. "Ready?"

She nodded and they left the room so that they could say goodbye to their beloved friend.

++++++

The burial would be in a nearby meadow which was a few minutes away from Victors Village. Effie had wanted to do it in the Capitol but Haymitch had specifically requested that he be buried in District 12. It was home and it was another 'screw you' to the Capitol, of course.

A large group had already assembled for the burial. The people of the village were present including the Hawthornes, Greasy Sae's family (she had passed on shortly after Zoe's birth) and some old classmates of the former mentor.

"Miss Effie!" Zoe let go of his hand to run to the older woman. In a pinstripe black suit and white wig, Effie was every bit the Capitol woman and stood out in a graying District 12.

"My darling girl!" Effie lifted the little girl up and Zoe wrapped her legs around the woman's waist. Peeta joined them. "Peeta, it is good to see you but such dreadful circumstances." Her accent was as sharp as ever.

Zoe lowered herself from Effie's body and ran to meet Posy. Effie took his arm and leaned into him as they walked. "I saw her you know. She was with the Mason woman and him. Do you think it's wise that she is getting close to Zoe?" Effie had always had more of a soft spot for Peeta as he was always a good boy during the games. Katniss has fought Effie on everything from clothes to interviews.

"Katniss is her mother," he replied as they walked. "Be nice to her, she's having a hard time also."

As they approached, he saw that Katniss was already there. Her hair was down today and she was beautiful. Katniss stood on her own away from the crowd simply staring at the closed coffin.

Peeta could hear the whispers of the crowd. Many of townspeople loved Zoe and were quick to her defense. Needless to say, they were unhappy to see that the mother who abandoned her had suddenly decided to show her face.

When they had all gathered, Peeta called out to get everyone's attention. "Thank you for coming. We've come to say goodbye to our dear friend, Haymitch Abernathy." He pulled something out of his pocket before addressing the crowd. "Haymitch always took care of me and my daughter Zoe. He wasn't perfect and never tried to be. He was truthful even when I didn't want to hear it. He helped me put my life back together and everything I learned about being a good father came from him." It had not been the best speech but it was a truthful one.

Zoe went to his side. "Grandpa Haymitch always let me feed his geese and if they bit me he always yelled at them." A soft chuckle was heard through the crowd. "I will miss him but he is in the sky with my Aunt Prim and Miss Rue." Peeta looked up to see Katniss staring at him, her expression unreadable.

Effie spoke of his devotion as a mentor in the Hunger Games while Greasy Sae's granddaughter talked about the time that Haymitch sold a case of his coveted liquor to help her grandmother when she was sick. Peeta wondered if Katniss would speak. Instead she clasped her hands together still staring at the coffin.

As they began the final preparations, he gave Zoe what he had pulled from his pocket. Taking her hand, they walked to the coffin and put the last picture of Zoe and Haymitch together. He looked gaunt but happy with his little Zoe. Peeta didn't want to remember him looking like that. It was better to bury that memory.

It was when the coffin began to lower, and the crowd silenced did he hear the gasping. It was Katniss. She look like she was about to fall over as she put her hands to abdomen. He could tell that she was trying not to cry out.

Zoe pulled at his hand and her eyes were pleading with him. "Daddy, she is all alone. Please."

Zoe knew that they had fought but didn't understand why. Together they went to her and Peeta found himself pulling Katniss into his arms. Zoe wrapped her arms around her mother's waist. Katniss cried into his shoulder as she pulled Zoe closer to her.

They remained like this for several minutes as the burial ended and people left.

"Well, you all know how to put on a show," Johanna said when they pulled away.

Peeta scoffed. "Well, we are the experts on pretending, aren't we?" He found himself saying thinking of the years that he and Katniss pretended to be lovers. "Why don't we go over to my house? Effie, I'm sure you'd like something to drink and eat before you take the train out."

"What?" Effie had been too busy staring at their joined hands. He could almost hear her describing the "rekindled love of her District 12 lovers" to her cohorts. It would be all over the Capitol only minutes after she exited her train. "Oh yes, that would be lovely."

They all set out towards Peeta's home. Zoe walked in between them holding each of their hands. Effie walked ahead, her heels clicking against the road. Johanna and Gale joined them.

"Pretending, my ass," Johanna muttered to him with a smile before Gale led her away. Gale gave him a wary look before they walked ahead.

Peeta's gaze wandered back over to Katniss who had remained silent the whole time. She seemed to be in her own dream state and she looked relaxed as she held Zoe's hand.

Zoe smiled up at her. "Mommy, your hair is pretty," the little girl said breathily. "Daddy always says that your hair was prettiest hair he's ever seen." She turned to look at him and he felt his cheeks burning. "Besides my hair."

Katniss laughed quietly. "Well I've always liked blond hair like your Aunt Prim's and your daddy's."

There they were again. They were always playing off each other. Just like the old days.

However, Peeta didn't know what her motives were this time. He didn't know what he was feeling except confusion and heat. He hated it, that feeling of wonderful heat that spread within him whenever she was near. As a boy, he watched her at school and when she sang he had been a goner. As a man, he knew the curves and planes of her body. He knew where and how to kiss to make her comply.

Their adult relationship had begun as innocent explorations of one another. They had sought enjoyment where they could because there was still so much pain in their world. When they were finished each time, she would leave and he would feel empty.

When she had left, he realized there wasn't much reason for her to stay. Their friendship was over when those two lines appeared on that pregnancy test. It wasn't much of a friendship anyway. They never talked during that time.

Zoe was the reason he was so angry at her. If there was any reason to stick around, it was the baby that she had carried for nine months. His Zoe. Didn't she feel anything looking at that baby when she was born? Was there any reaction when she kicked inside Katniss's belly? He never trusted himself to ask in fear that he already knew the answer. It wasn't a good one.

++++++

When they entered the house, he set off to the kitchen to prepare a tray of cakes and tea for Effie. As he leaned against the counter, he heard footsteps and turn to see Gale standing there. The two never felt the need to get to know one another or get along but somewhere along the way Peeta found that he wanted to know more about Katniss's life. Gale was a pretty big part of it and he was curious to know how he had fit into her life for these last four years.

"I was kicked out because they needed girl talk," he informed Peeta.

"I don't know how I feel about my daughter being around while Effie shares the sex secrets of the Capitol."

The two men shared a laugh. "I'm sure it's just idle gossip. Johanna doesn't like people thinking she's a girl. She has other ways of proving herself."

"How did that happen? You and Johanna?"

"We bonded over assigned missions together then eventually over making sure Katniss remembered to eat," he replied.

"Was it that bad?"

"When she first came," Gale recalled. "She wouldn't come out of her room. Or she would disappear for long periods of time. Johanna and I would spend a lot of time waiting to see if she would even call."

The tea kettle whistled bringing them out of their memories. Peeta poured the water into the teapot and picked up the tray. Gale followed suit picking up the plate of cake.

When they entered the room, Peeta caught a quick flash of an envelope going into Katniss's pocket. He set the tray down and the group fixed their cups while Zoe bit into each piece of cake. After a look from Effie, Zoe retreated and sat back in-between her parents, her back straight with a smile on her face.

Effie put her cup down after a sip. "So Katniss, when are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow on the noon train."

His heart sank when he saw the stricken look on Zoe's face.

"You're leaving?"

Katniss turned to her daughter. "I have to Zoe. I live in the Capitol."

Zoe's lips trembled. "But you said you would stay with me. You said always." Tears had already spilled onto her reddening cheeks. "You said so!" She leaped from her seat and rushed up the stairs. They could hear her sobbing from below.

Peeta stood up. "This is what I meant Katniss about making her promises. It's really my fault. I should have explain to her that 'always' means nothing to you." He felt disgusted with himself for hoping. He looked at her once more in disappointment before ascending stairs to comfort his daughter.

++++++

Later that night after Effie had departed with Gale, Johanna and Katniss, Peeta laid in bed with Zoe curled up against him. He listened to her sigh in his sleep and pulled her closer. His mind drifted to when he first found out about Zoe.

_Peeta had found her sitting by the window in her bedroom. Her knees were pulled up to her chest and she still wore her nightgown though it was late in the afternoon._

_As he approached her, he caught a glimpse of a little white stick that was placed next to her. Peeta froze and picked it up. There were two. Two pink lines. He sat down next to her. "So you're…"_

_She nodded and put her head on her knees. "Yes, I am."_

_"What do we do?" he asked her. They had never talked about their relationship or whatever it was considered. The two had always slept with one another to keep their nightmares at bay. Everything else that they did just evolved from sharing a bed._

_Despite all this, Peeta was thrilled. He tried desperately to hide his excitement. Naively he thought that this was what he wanted. He had always wanted to be with Katniss, to love her and eventually marry her. Then in time, they would have kids. So it had happened in backward order but that didn't deter him from letting a little hope grow in him._

_Their eyes met and she looked at him for a moment. She started and moved back. "Oh God, you want to have it, don't you?" It was more of a statement than a question."Peeta, this isn't the best time—"_

_"—Katniss, it will never be the best time for you. I know you're scared. But I want this. I want this with you." He took her hand. "I swear I'll be a saint. I will let you win every fight. I won't push you on anything—except this."_

_Katniss sat staring at him skeptically. "I win every fight?" she asked with a small smile._

Eventually she agreed. Thinking back now, he had pushed her because he was afraid that she would leave him. He thought that a baby would keep her there and that in time she would grow to love him or her. He had hope that she would learn to love him too.

Katniss was never one to be pushed into anything.

Now he was paying for it. Now Zoe was paying for it. Guilt gripped his insides and instinctually he held his daughter close. Despite it all, he was so thankful to have her. In the world of regrets that he and Katniss lived in, he never for one second of his day ever regretted Zoe.

Being hurt by Katniss was second nature now. Not for Zoe however. He knew that she would live her life trying to figure out what had made her mother leave her not once but twice. He didn't want her to question herself because she was growing up into a wonderful person. Before he slept, Peeta told himself that he would let Katniss go forever. He would show Zoe that they could go on without her.

++++++

That morning Zoe was sullen and quiet. She didn't want breakfast and held tight to her stuffed duck. They were going to meet Katniss, Johanna and Gale at the station so they could say goodbye.

"Are you going to talk to me, little one?" He zipped her jacket as he asked. Instead of answering, she stuck her thumb in her mouth. Peeta noticed that her face was devoid of color and he felt her forehead. Her temperature seemed normal.

"Let's go." They descended down the stairs and out the door hand in hand. As they walked he chattered about the recipes he would be working on at the bakery that week in hopes that it would spark her interest. She remained quiet and distant reminding him of Katniss. Though she resembled Katniss, her personality was usually all Peeta.

When they reach their short distance, they found the three travelers waiting for them at the platform. The train was already there but was refueling for the long trip back.

"Hey sweetie," Gale said and picked up the little girl. "I'm going to miss you." She wrapped her arms around his neck.

Johanna kissed her cheeks and tickled the girl so that she let out a small laugh. "Now there's that smile. You call me okay?" The girl nodded.

Gale put her down and Katniss went to her. Peeta could tell that there was something on her mind and for a moment, he feared that she would ask to take Zoe with her.

Zoe stood not reacting to her mother. He could tell that Katniss was hurt. So he chose to support Katniss's decision to go by pulling her into his arms. She clung to him and he buried his face in her hair. When he pulled back, he wiped the tear that trickled down her face. "Try to visit more."

She nodded and looked to Zoe who now clinging to his leg. She lifted Zoe's chin with her finger. "Won't you say goodbye?" The little girl burrowed her face into Peeta's side. Katniss sighed and kissed the top of her head. "I love you Zoe."

Katniss stood up and looked at him with pain in her eyes. He nodded to her understandingly. He would be strong for Zoe.

As she walked away, Peeta felt Zoe shift. "Don't go." She was suddenly rushing towards Katniss. The woman pulled her into her arms. "Don't go Mommy! Please. Please." Tears rushed down her face. "I'll do anything. I will wear dresses and learn to twirl better. Please don't leave me."

"You are perfect and I don't want you to change," she said as she held the girl

"Then why are you leaving?"

Peeta watched the scene and felt his own eyes prickling. He saw it then. The flash of something in her eyes.

Katniss took a deep breath and turned to Gale and Johanna.

"I'm sorry. I'm not going back with you."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yea! So she stayed! What happens now? Well you'll just have to wait for the next chapter. I've been doing some research on separation anxiety in children. You might see some of these issues continue in Zoe.

I am overwhelmed with the response from everyone. Please keep on reviewing as it does boost a girl's spirit. Peeta was awesome to write but he did have his doormat moments. There is also one movie line in this. Did you see it?

Answers to some questions:

1\. Katniss and Peeta are 24 when Zoe was born making them 28 in current time. Coincidentally the same age as I am now. Trust me when I tell you that your mindset at 24 and 28 are completely different. There is one part that does reveal their ages. Hope you found it. Gale is 29 and Johanna is in her early 30's.

2\. Yes, there will be flashback between present time and before Zoe's birth. Maybe even the conception night though I am no good at those kinds of scenes.

3\. Still debating a rival who might not be much of a rival.

I am sorry that this chapter was so long but it might be up to a week till my next chapter. I've noticed that my chapters are getting increasingly longer. Some people like it, some don't. This is what happens when you have nothing to do at work but spend your time writing into a notebook.

Review, review!

-JLaLa


	4. Somebody That I Use to Know

These characters do not belong to me.

But you didn't have to cut me off

Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing

And I don't even need your love

But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough

No you didn't have to stoop so low

Have your friends collect your records and then change your number

I guess that I don't need that though

Now you're just somebody that I used to know

-Gotye (Somebody That I Use to Know)

Italics=Flashback

This first flashback is rated M. Please skip over if you're not into that.

This chapter switches between both Peeta and Katniss.

All I Know

By JLaLa

Chapter Four: Somebody That I Use to Know

"Mom" and "Dad" were fighting.

Katniss sat in her room listening to Gale and Johanna arguing downstairs. It was really Gale's fault; he didn't understand that she could do this on her own.

When she pulled out the envelope that Effie had given her the night before and declared she was staying, she saw a number of reactions: happiness from her daughter, shock from Peeta and anger from Gale. Johanna had already known about it, of course.

Haymitch had left her his house. The deed was in the envelope and was already in her name. Written on the envelope was one thing: "To a fresh start".

"It is your choice again, Katniss," Johanna said the night before as they sat on her bed looking it over.

She didn't regret the choice when she saw the joy and the happiness in Zoe's eyes. She was scared as hell, admittedly, but she felt that this was where she needed to be. The issue was that Gale thought that she still needed them or to be more precise him. Johanna on the other hand thought that it was none of his damn business-and it wasn't.

She also knew that deep in the crevices of Johanna's sarcastic disposition was someone who was worried that the guy she liked was still pining. Living with them over the last four years had given her an interesting look into what a semi-normal relationship was.

Katniss went to her window and without thinking walked onto the porch roof. She needed to be outside. Quietly, she shimmied herself down a column and onto the porch. Careful to duck down when she was near the windows, she walked down the steps and into the back part of the village where woods were located.

This was what Katniss had missed when she was in Capitol; the smell of the woods. She felt so much more solid there and a part of the world around her. As she crawled under the fence, she didn't need light to know her way into the dark woods. Her feet knew the way so well.

"I knew you would come around sooner or later."

Katniss turned to see Peeta leaning against a tree with a flask in his hand. It had been Haymitch's. He had it with him that first time on the train to the Capitol. She briefly wondered when he started drinking.

"I don't do this often," he said holding up the flask. She approached him and he thought she looked like Artemis in the moonlight.

"I always wondered how you didn't suffocate in the Capitol," he continued. "These woods are practically in your blood."

"Maybe that's why I came back," Katniss replied. "Among other things."

They looked at one another for a moment and she could see Peeta's blue eyes glittering in the darkness. "Is this what I think it is?" She approached the tree he leaned against and he moved aside so that she could put her hand on the cool wood. Turning to him, she felt herself instinctively laying herself back against the tree. "I'm surprised that you didn't burn the thing down."

"Now why would I do that?" Peeta took a swig and offered it to Katniss. She raised an eyebrow before taking the flask from him and taking her own swig. "It's a special tree."

_The sun was setting when Peeta had found her in the woods. The day had been hot and it was a relief to feel the temperature significantly drop. There was still a warm breeze that kept the woods comfortable. Katniss was laying back on the tree, her feet bare and her long braid against her shoulder. She was looking at the colors in the sky as the sun began to drop._

_The weather had been so hot that Katniss had put on a long white linen dress that had belonged to her mother. She liked that it had kept her cool in the weather while he had appreciated that it was slightly sheer. If you really looked, that is. He joined her lying back against the tree next to her and they watched the sun lower._

_Orange intermingled with violet blues of a night sky and he turned to her. "I don't think I would want to share this with anyone else," he said and took her hand. Katniss smiled and kissed his lips nipping his bottom lip before releasing him. He went in front of her and pulled her close. She put her arms around his neck. "You look beautiful."_

_"You're only saying that because you can see through my dress," she replied but kissed him again. This time she slipped just a little of her pink tongue into his mouth. Katniss could feel his desire for her mounting._

_There was something in her that loved the feel of being able to control Peeta this way. She liked that she could bring that part of him of out. The part that was no longer sweet. Their lips met again but it was a different feeling this time. Her own desire had been kindled._

_"What are we doing?" he asked as her lips were pressed against his._

_"Whatever we want," Katniss told him and pressed her body against him. Peeta let out a ragged breath._

_"Be careful," Peeta replied his voice thick and she ran her hand down against his chest and into the spot right inbetween his abdomen and his hip bone. "You don't know what you're doing." Katniss knew that he was baiting her._

_She kept her eyes on him as she unbuckled his belt and used a hand to undo the button of the khakis he wore. "I know exactly what I'm doing," she said and reached for him. Peeta gasped and she was suddenly being pushed roughly against the tree._

_His own hands were ascending her outer thighs and then cupping her bottom so that he could lift her. The skirt of her dress was pushed up giving her freedom to wrap her legs against his hips. Their lips met again and when Peeta thumbed her nipple through the thin cloth she moaned into his ear. "Please…"_

_"Tell me what you want," Peeta said pressing his lips against her neck._

_She could tell that she didn't need to say it but Katniss knew that Peeta needed to hear it._

_"I need you,"Katniss said into his ear. "I need you inside me."She bit his ear and he moaned. He didn't need to be asked again._

_When he entered her, their eyes met and they never left one another as he continued to push into her. They settled into a rhythm and Katniss dug her feet into his back urging him on. He was the only one who could do this to her. Her boy with the bread._

_She needed completion. "Faster." Peeta let loose and it didn't matter to either of them if they were sore the next day. Katniss was on the brink and a final thrust led her to fall apart. Moaning his name, Katniss felt Peeta speed up and soon he joined her in post-climatic bliss._

_"Do you think anyone heard us?" she asked as they sat on the base of the tree. The back of her dress was ruined and she intended to ask Peeta if he could get her a sweater so she wouldn't expose herself to the whoever might be walking about._

_"Let's hope that Haymitch is passed out," Peeta said with a grin._

_The next morning when they both exited her home, the glare that Haymitch gave them told that he had heard everything.  
_

"I knew there was something different about that time," Katniss said as she sat down on the ground.

"Yeah, we conceived a child." Peeta sat next to her. "Hopefully she never finds out about our sex tree."

They laughed. "I think the secret has gone with Haymitch." She leaned back and closed her eyes. "It's so peaceful here. Johanna and Gale have been fighting for an hour."

"About what?" She opened her eyes and found him staring at her.

"His constant need to butt into my life." She drew her knees to her chest. "I think he is trying to deny that I can survive without him."

"Can you?" Peeta asked.

"Yes, he isn't attached to my hip," she said annoyed.

"But you admit that he is pretty attached," he replied. "Could it be that Johanna is reacting to this constant need of his?"

"Probably," Katniss admitted. "I thought we were over this." She looked exasperated.

"Maybe you are." He looked at her. "Has anything ever happened between you two?"

"Once," she replied and took the flask from his hand. "Before he and Johanna got together. I had only been at her place for four months when he came to see me."

"Did you sleep with him?" He didn't look angry just sad.

Her eyes met his. "No," she whispered. "We kissed and we did go to my room. But it felt different—wrong. I stopped it and nothing has happened since then. With him. Or with anyone."

"How do you know that if they don't work out that he won't come for you?"

"He knew it felt wrong. I could tell but I can see that it's different with Johanna," she said. "We were just a pipe dream. She's real."

"Thank you for being honest with me," Peeta said after a moment. He stood up. "I better get back before Zoe wakes up. It's been an exciting weekend for her."

He held his hand out and she took it so that he could help her stand up. When she was finally up, she brushed the back of her pants and then looked up to see that their faces were only inches apart. She pushed herself against the tree causing Peeta to lose his footing. He caught himself by putting his hand against the tree and found himself leaning into her.

They stared at one another for a moment. "Katniss…"

She swallowed her nervousness. "Yeah?"

"You should probably leave," he said thickly and looked down. Katniss went under his arm and avoided making skin to skin contact.

When she was at the fence, she turned to him. Peeta was looking at his feet. "I am going to be cleaning the attic the day after tomorrow. I think there might be some stuff that you and Zoe might want to keep. Would you be interested in helping me? Bring Zoe along if you want."

"We'd like that," he replied softly. "Goodnight Katniss."

She threw the flask over to him and he caught it easily. "Goodnight Peeta. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For the talk. For her." Peeta nodded and she left to climb back into her room.

++++++

"Mommy!" Zoe cried out as she ran to Katniss's arms. She wrapped her daughter in her arms. "Where have you been? I missed you." Peeta watched his daughter looked adoringly up at her mother. He wasn't the jealous type but there was something about the way Zoe seemed so attached to Katniss that bothered him.

"It's only been two days darling," she replied but held her tighter. Katniss looked up to see Peeta watching them and her cheeks burned. "Hey Peeta." She wore a pair of denim and a loose button down shirt. He admired her toned figure.

"Thanks for inviting us to come. Where are Johanna and Gale?"

"My parents?" She smiled and he nodded. "They went to Hazelle's."

"Meeting the mother," Peeta said as they walked into her house. "It's getting serious."

"They were always serious." They talked as they went up the stairs. Zoe walked in-between contently and quietly. "I think Hazelle believed that he would never find the right girl." They reached the string to pull down the stairs of the attic. "Can you do this? I have my hands or more specifically legs full." Peeta looked to see Zoe clinging to her mother's leg.

"Sure. Watch out, there might be a little bit of a dust cloud." Peeta pulled and the ceiling opened slowly revealing the stairs to the attic. He was surprised to see that no dust appeared when it was finally opened and the stairs secured. "After you."

Katniss went up slowly and turned after she was halfway to look at them. "You coming?" He had blushed when he realized that she knew that he was looking at her bottom.

When they were finally up in the attic, Peeta saw that it was actually very neat. Boxes were stacked and marked. Zoe came up behind him. The three stood there for a moment.

"It smells in here," Zoe declared and they laughed.

"It's probably the moth balls, sweetie," Peeta said. "Walk carefully just in case there are any weak spots in the wood." Zoe nodded and walked slowly when she spotted a trunk full of clothes. He turned to see that Katniss hadn't moved from her spot. Taking her hand, he saw that her eyes were sad. He never realized that maybe Katniss had missed Haymitch despite their odd, strained relationship.

"Where did you want to start?" he asked her.

"Anywhere is fine." They went to the left and pulled the first box from the stack. Peeta kneel carefully and Katniss followed suit. "Are you alright? I mean your leg."

He nodded. "I have really good upper body strength. You know that," he joked thinking of their previous night's trip down memory lane. She busied herself so he wouldn't see her hot face by opening the box. Katniss pulled out a little parachute container and opened it to see it was the spial that they had used in the Quell. "I didn't think he would keep all this."

"He seemed so haunted by the Games," she replied and pulled out photos of them both during their Caesar Flickerman interviews.

Zoe sat on Peeta's lap as they looked through the photos. "Daddy, you look pretty," she said as Katniss handed her a picture of Peeta in his suit. "Why is this man blue?" She wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"It's the style in the Capitol," Peeta informed her. He picked out another photo from a separate stack. "Now this one really made a big impact." He presented a front facing photo of Katniss in her dress.

"Oh, it's even prettier this way," Zoe said. "Mommy, is this really you?"

She took the photo and her eyes were sad. "This used to be me. Not anymore."

Peeta looked at the photo. "The girl in this photo had a lot of fire, maybe a little too much. Fortunately, it spilled into you." He tickled his daughter and her high pitched laughed echoed in the large attic.

She smiled at them before picking up a piece of paper. "What is this?"

Peeta peered at it. "It's Zoe's birth certificate. Haymitch had a copy in case."

"In case of what?"

"If something were to happen to me, he would have been Zoe's guardian. After all, we didn't know if you were going to come back as much as I tried to deny it."  


_He had been feeding Zoe when Haymitch came into the house. At this point, he had not slept in a week. Katniss was gone and he was left with a two week old baby who needed her mother's milk. Thankfully, they were able to wean her on formula._

_His nights were filled with diaper changes and rocking the little baby. She didn't cry but for some reason Peeta felt like she was aware of her mother's abandonment. There were times where he swore that she looked at him asking "Why?"and Peeta had no answers for her. As he rocked her gently, Peeta looked up to see Haymitch watching him with a defeated look._

_"Have you heard anything?" Peeta asked with a quivering voice._

_Haymitch shook his head. "I've called her mother, Annie, and even Gale. No one has heard from Johanna in awhile as she is still in the military and is gone for long periods of time. It's a long shot if Katniss is with her." Peeta got up with the little baby in his strong arms._

_"I have to find her Haymitch," he said. "If I leave her with you, maybe I can go to Effie. Maybe she has heard from her—"_

_"No," Haymitch replied. "I can't do that for you. You can't leave her too. She is barely a month old."_

_"But I need to find her." Peeta felt his eyes water. "I need Katniss here with me. What happens if I have an episode and I'm alone with her?"_

_"Then you call me or you go to your room and let her cry it out till you're okay but you don't leave," Haymitch said to him. "You don't EVER leave her." Peeta wiped his eyes. "Don't lie to yourself Peeta. She didn't want this baby as much as you tried to convince her."_

_"I know," he admitted. "I hoped that when she saw her that it would change."_

_"So you move on," he replied."Stop waiting for her to change her mind because you and I both know that Katniss is stubborn." Peeta continued to let the tears fall. He was exhausted and he felt even more hopeless. "I hope that she does and that's all I can tell you. Not just for you but for her daughter."_

_"Haymitch, will you watch over her?" He looked down at the little baby. Her hair was dark like her mother's; he brushed his hand over it and kissed her forehead. "Just in case I have an episode, protect her from me."_

_"You're not a monster, Peeta," Haymitch reassured him. "You care. Sometimes too much. But I'll watch over her. She will never want for Katniss."_

_Peeta nodded. "She doesn't even have a name." The baby started to fuss and he got up to take her for a walk around the room."I thought that if Katniss came back than we could decide together." He knew how pathetic he sounded. "It should be something different. After all, her parents have very unique names."_

_"Can I suggest a name?" Haymitch said and went over to them. "Zoe."_

_"Zoe?" He looked up at his former mentor in confusion. "Why Zoe?"_

_"It means life," Haymitch replied. "To remind you that despite everything, life goes on. You're a survivor kid and she's one too. You have to teach her that. You have to be the one to tell her about the Hunger Games, the rebellion, your hijacking and show her that you survived-for her."_

_He smiled to himself. "Zoe it is," Peeta said. "Zoe Mellark." The baby whined as a yawn escaped Peeta's mouth._

_"Why don't you give her to me?" Haymitch said suddenly. "Go to sleep, you look like shit." The older man took Zoe from his arms._

_"Get all that out before she's old enough to understand," Peeta said and started for the stairs to pass out. He turned to see Haymitch cradling Zoe to his chest protectively. "Thank you Haymitch."_

_"Yeah, yeah." Haymitch waved him off."Stop before I change my mind and give her back."_

_Peeta knew he was lying.  
_

He looked up and realized that Zoe had drifted off to sleep. "She always loves this story." Peeta turn to Katniss who was staring at her daughter in his arms. "It's so interesting that she passes out each time I tell it."

They laughed quietly so not to awaken her. "Zoe was the name of Haymitch's mom," he continued. "He lost her with the rest of his family." He rocked the little girl in his arms and kissed her forehead. "Sometimes I think that I've lost everything. Including you." Katniss felt her eyes water. "Then I look at Zoe and I realize that he was right. Life does go on. It goes on because it has to. I can't live in the past. Now that I have her."

"I don't know why I did it," Katniss said brokenly. "I felt so numb."

"What's done is done." Peeta looked down though he felt his anger rising inside. He took a deep breath. "We should move forward."

Katniss nodded but inside she felt frozen. "How?" She looked away in shame. "I don't know half of what is running through my brain. That girl in the picture is a stranger. So is the person who I see in the mirror."

"Maybe that's why you decided to stay," Peeta said to her. He handed Zoe to Katniss. "Hold her for a minute." He took off the sweater he wore and placed it on the ground. He took Zoe from her arms and laid her out then sat back down. "This was the only place you really considered home. You need time. Just please don't break her heart again."

"Again?" She laid down next to Zoe and turned to her side facing the girl.

"When she was a baby and I rocked her to sleep," he said as he looked down at them. "She would look at me and I knew she was wondering where you were. I couldn't give her an answer and I knew it was hurting her."

"She doesn't need me." Katniss said as she brushed Zoe's hair out of her face. Peeta laid back on Zoe's other side. "Not like she needs you."

"Katniss, we don't need you," he said looking up at the ceiling. "We sure as hell want you though."

Peeta reached for her hand and she didn't resist it. They laid in silence staring up at the beams. It was warm and the sound of Zoe's soft breathing soothed them both.

"I like it up here with you." Katniss hadn't moved her hand. She closed her eyes.

"Me too," he whispered but he knew she was already asleep. Peeta felt his own eyelids get heavy and he drifted off to sleep.

"Well I'll be damn," Johanna said when she and Gale found them later that evening.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I didn't pick Zoe for its meaning. For some reason while this story was being written in my brain, her name was already Zoe so it just worked out this way.

So apparently I make people hurt inside or cry. To all of you feeling this way, Zoe is giving you hugs over the internet.

The song that I name the chapter after really makes me think of this story. This isn't my favorite chapter but it needed to be done.

I forgot to mention that the song in the previous chapter that Peeta sings to Zoe is "The Only Promise that Remains" by Reba McEntire.

Not sure how long it will be till my next chapter but there will be someone coming back in the next chapter.

Once again, I appreciate all your support and love. 

-JLaLa


	5. My Sweetest Friend

I hurt myself today

To see if I still feel

I focus on the pain

The only thing that's real

What have I become

My sweetest friend

Everyone I know goes away

In the end…

-Johnny Cash/Nine Inch Nails (Hurt)

The characters are not mine.

Flashback=Italics

This chapter switches between Peeta and Katniss.

All I Know

By JLaLa

Chapter Five: My Sweetest Friend

_Katniss opened her eyes when she heard the faint cry of the baby. She sat up and looked over at Peeta who was fast asleep after a long day of watching the infant. He had left the running of the bakery to Rory Hawthorne so that he could help Katniss with their daughter for the time being._

_She still couldn't believe it. Their daughter. She was a mother._

_Quietly she walked across the hall and into the nursery where the baby was. When she walked in, it was only whimpering now. Katniss peered at it from where she stood. She had a baby and she felt nothing. There was only a slight pain from where it had come out. Katniss didn't understand. Wasn't she supposed to be happy?_

_That is the thing about assumptions. They are most of the time never right._

_For she felt nothing for the baby that was lying in the crib, she had only felt motherly feelings towards one person and it had killed her. Prim would have known what to do. She would have been a good mother. Not Katniss, she couldn't change a diaper or bathe the baby so she left Peeta to do it. When the baby suckled on her breast, Katniss wished it would just hurry up and finish._

_Looking at the baby, she tried to see if she saw any of herself in it. The hair was the same but the eyes were not dark but Peeta's blue. She wished that it was blond than maybe she could pretend that it was Prim._

_She wasn't Prim though. Prim wasn't coming back just like her mother wasn't coming back. That's what happened to everyone she loved, they would just go away._

_Katniss didn't realize that she was crying until she saw a teardrop hit the baby's cheek. She reached to wipe it away but stopped suddenly. Everything she touched would be hurt. She didn't feel like herself anymore. Inside she felt numb. She felt like she was watching her life from outside her body and she didn't like herself like this._

_Katniss saw herself yelling at Peeta when he would ask her to feed the baby or change its diaper. She saw her fake smile when people would congratulate her or try to give her advice on how to do this or that. She saw herself stop going to the woods because there was a moment when she wondered if she jumped from the tallest tree would she fly._

_Her anxiety increased looking at the baby. It would have been better off not being alive._

_She felt a cold chill run through her and her heart started to beat quickly on its own accord. Katniss turned and walked out of the room. Going into the bathroom, she washed her face and saw her reflection in the mirror. Her body was thin having lost all the baby weight and because she didn't eat anymore. Dark circles surrounded her eyes and her face lacked color, she looked like death._

_Katniss was supposed to be glowing like other mothers who had just given birth. She should be feeling something because she so badly wanted to._

_Without thinking, she went into her room and began to dress quickly. Katniss took a small rucksack and took whatever money she had along with a small book. Looking over at Peeta who was still asleep, she tried to stop the feeling of guilt that rush through her. He was strong enough to go on and take care of the baby. He knew how to love. Peeta had loved her despite her lack of affection for him. He would love the baby and maybe find someone else better than her._

_He stirred and with a final look at him, she walked out of the room._

_When she walked out of the house, she saw the moon high in the sky and the sky around it was a lovely navy blue. Katniss began to walk away and as she did she felt the back of her neck prickle. Turning she saw Haymitch in the window looking down at her and his eyes were heavy. She stared back willing him to understand how she felt. Instead he shook his head in disappointment and walked away from the window. She knew he wouldn't come after her._

_She found herself in a daze as she went through the town. The quietness of the town was nice and in her mind, she saw Prim looking into the window of the bakery. Was it that long ago that her sister walked this town? It had been years since that fateful Reaping Day that changed her life, that changed her. Before then, she had control over her life. Now life was moving on around her and she was still stuck in the horrors of the past._

_When she reached the train station, Katniss stood at the platform waiting. The midnight train would be along. She closed her eyes and took a breath as she rocked on her feet. The faint sound of the train whistling caught her ears and she felt her feet moving forward towards the edge._

_If she walked a little more than she wouldn't be numb anymore._

_Instead Katniss boarded the train. When she was finally sat in the empty compartment, she leaned against the window and began to cry._

_She finally felt something._

"Katniss." Johanna was looking down at her worriedly. "You were crying in your sleep. Are you okay?"

She continued to cry. Katniss was gasping for breath and she sat up. Johanna pushed her sweaty hair from her face. "Katniss, it was only a dream. Come here." She let her friend pull her into her arms and the older woman rocked her and rubbed her head soothingly. Katniss could feel the vibrating of her friend's body as hummed to her.

When she was calm again, Katniss pulled away. "Thank you Jo." The other woman gave her a small smile and she laid back. Johanna took her hand and pushed the hair on Katniss's forehead with her other hand. "Will you stay until I fall asleep?"

"Of course," Johanna replied and settled next to her friend. Sitting up, she let Katniss lay against her chest and she rubbed her friend's head humming as she did.

It was okay to care when she knew no one was looking.

She could feel Katniss's body relax and she continued to hold her friend. It had been so long since Katniss had a dream like this. When she first came to live with Johanna, they were a nightly occurrence but she would lock her door so Johanna couldn't come in. Sometimes she would sleep outside her friend's door just in case she needed her.

Johanna looked up to see Gale at the doorway watching her. "Is everything okay?"

"A nightmare," she replied quietly. "A pretty bad one too. It's been a long time since this has happened."

He nodded. "You coming back to bed?"

"Let me settle her down and then I'll join you." Johanna slowly removed herself from the bed and guided Katniss so that she was lying down. She then undid her hair and pulled up the cover so the blanket was over Katniss's shoulders. Gale saw her quickly kissed her friend's forehead. She never wanted people to know that she had a soft side. She feared the rejection.

Johanna joined him at the doorway. She looked up at him with her half smile and Gale suddenly found himself kissing her. She sank into the doorway and he melded his body into hers. When he pulled away, they leaned their foreheads into one another.

"We should probably not do this in her doorway," Johanna said breathlessly. He pulled her into the hallway and she closed the door quietly to Katniss's room. "Sorry I woke you—"

"—I love you." He was surprise to hear it come out of his mouth but saying out loud didn't scare him as much as he thought. Maybe it was the way she had taken care of Katniss or the way she was always seem to put him in his place but it had hit him like lightening.

He looked at Johanna's shocked face. "You don't have to say anything Jo. I'm not expecting you to."

"Shut up." Johanna took him by the hand. "Let's go to bed."

++++++

"Zoe! Are you ready?" Peeta called out to his daughter from the bottom of the stairs. The little girl came rushing down with her small backpack dragging behind her.

"Yes Daddy, I'm ready." Zoe went over to the door and began to put on the hunting boots that were next to it. He remembered the day she picked them out and he found it funny that she had unknowingly picked the same boots that her mother had worn.

Zoe had been given a few days off from her school since Haymitch's funeral and it would be her first day back. He opened the door and she walked out cheerfully. "Mommy!" He looked over to see Katniss sitting on the porch drinking from a mug with a sweater wrapped around her thin frame. She looked tired but she gave her daughter a wan smile.

The little girl walked over to Katniss. "I'm going to school!"

"I can see that," Katniss responded and looked up at Peeta. "Good morning." She smiled and Peeta wondered why today seemed so much brighter.

"Morning," he replied. "You're up early."

Katniss took a sip from her cup. "I had a rough night but I'm better now." She smiled down at Zoe. "I should help with breakfast." She kissed her daughter. "Have a good day at school Zoe." She started for the door.

"Why don't you walk with us?" Peeta asked her before she could leave. "If they wouldn't mind sparing you for a few minutes, that is."

"I think they'll be okay." She put the mug on the porch. She took Zoe's hand and they began to walk to the schoolhouse. It was a short five minute walk and a warm day.

Peeta watched the two interact. Zoe was telling her about the drawing that she had made last week of a giraffe which would be hung up on their picture wall. Katniss patiently listened as the little girl told her the reasons why it was a pink giraffe and not its normal color.

The schoolhouse was an old barn house which had been converted to a school. Zoe was one of the first kids that were enrolled in their Pre-K program and he had no qualms with donating generously for new books as well as art supplies. The school was large and had several rooms for different grades. Zoe led them up the steps and into the first room to their left.

Peeta waved to Zoe's teacher, Miss Thirby, who was trying to get two boys to sit in their seats. Zoe was showing Katniss her giraffe as she bounced on one foot. He watched them with a happy smile and Katniss met his eyes from across the room giving him a grin.

"Mr. Mellark!" The teacher approached him. "I'm so sorry for your loss. Haymitch was a good man and Zoe adored him." She was a short, squat woman with a friendly smile and graying hair.

"Yes, but I'm glad they had some time together."

"Our new principal arrives later today," she informed him. Looking over at Zoe and Katniss, the older woman straightened her glasses. "Is that Katniss Everdeen?"

"Yes, Zoe's mother," he said and the woman's eyes widened. "I'd appreciate it if you don't mention any of our past to her. She doesn't like to talk about it." Their fame had not faded over the years but everyone was so use to him that Katniss's appearance made her a sort of novelty.

"Of course," the woman agreed.

Katniss and Zoe approached them. "Katniss, this is Eleanor Thirby, Zoe's teacher." Katniss shook the woman's hand and he could tell that the woman was star-struck.

"Nice to meet you," Katniss said in a soft voice. Peeta could tell that she too felt the woman's gaze on her. She turned to Peeta. "Should we get going?"

He nodded and went to Zoe kissing her on the forehead. "Have a good day baby."

Katniss hugged her daughter. "Have a wonderful day, sweetheart."

Zoe looked at her worriedly. "You'll be back to pick me up with Daddy, right?"

She looked at Peeta to see if it was okay and Peeta nodded. "Of course Zoe."

"Promise?" Zoe's eyes began to fill with tears.

Katniss knelt down to her daughter's height. "No tears. Promise."

"Daddy, you'll bring Mommy with you?"

"Yes, I'll bring her with me. Now go with Miss Thirby." The teacher took her hand and led her to her desk. Zoe continued to look back at them and they waved at the doorway before walking out the door.

As they walked, he looked over at her and noticed how pale she was. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she replied and was silent for a moment. "I had a dream about the night I left."

"Do you want to talk?" They reached the edge of Victors Village. "Why don't you come in for some cheese buns?"

"You still make them?" Katniss smiled at him and he nodded. They were also Zoe's favorite. "Okay. I'm not taking up any of your time?"

"Not really, I was just going to do some chores." They reached the porch and he opened the door.

Peeta led her to the kitchen. "Have a seat." Katniss went over to the table by the window and looked outside. A tree swing had been set up and she could see that there were different balls strewn about the grass.

Peeta set down a cup of coffee and a plate of buns on the table before joining her. She took a sip before setting it down and meeting his eyes. "I want to be honest with you," she said to him. "Because you deserve it. Both of you do." Katniss leaned back. "I don't know what made me walk out. I didn't feel anything but I knew I didn't deserve both of you."

Katniss let the tears fall. "I felt worthless and I still do." Peeta took her hand. "Like I said, I don't know how to move forward or what I can tell you because I don't understand myself." She wiped her eyes. "What can I tell you other than this?"

"I'd like to hear it all but I know you," Peeta replied as he looked at her. She remembered how he could turn her inside out just by meeting her eyes. "So I'll take what you'll give me. Right now, I need you to be here with Zoe. I need you to be my friend. Be my partner so we can raise our daughter. We don't have to follow the rules. We can make them up ourselves. I just want it to be different from before."

"When did you grow up?" She looked over at him. "When did we change?"

"Having a child does that to people," he replied. "You've changed too."

"What are you on about?" She sighed. "I didn't do anything."

"You stayed." He looked over at her. "You've already made a choice for her."

She felt her cheeks warm and their hands stayed entwined. Peeta knew he was lying to himself. He was still in love with Katniss Everdeen. The feeling was just as strong as when he had first seen her as a little girl in a red dress. He knew that he couldn't afford to be hurt by her again, not with Zoe in the picture.

So he held her hand until he suddenly heard her yawn. "As your friend, I should tell you that you need to sleep. Why don't you go to Zoe's room?"

"I must look horrible." He shook his head. He thought she was beautiful.

"Never horrible," he told her. Peeta loved her on her worse days and on her best. It was never conditional. "Sleep. Then we can pick our daughter."

"Stay with me," Katniss said quietly not meeting his eyes. "Like before."

He nodded. "Then we should go to my room. It was our room before anyway."

Peeta led her up the stairs and into the room. The room was plain but neat. She glanced around and her eyes rested on a picture of Zoe on Peeta's side table.

Katniss went over to what use to be her side and he followed her laying on his side. Turning to look at him, she smiled in appreciation. "Come here." He pulled her over to him so that her head was against his chest. "Just like before." Memories of Capitol train rides flooded his memories and it still felt the same.

"Peeta?"

"Yes?"

She looked up at him. "Why can we never get it together?" He knew what she was asking. Why couldn't they have the relationship that they both wanted with each other? The one that the Capitol had created not realizing that it was actually true. Why couldn't they be the star-crossed lovers?

"I don't know." Peeta held her tighter.

Katniss seem to understand and was content with the answer. Katniss nuzzled into him and then fell asleep.

++++++

Zoe ran into her arms before Katniss entered the school. "You came back!"

"Of course, Zoe," she replied. "I promised you."

"Nice to see you too." Peeta approached the pair and kissed the side of his daughter's head.

Miss Thirby approached them and gave them a smile. She loved to see the little girl so happy. It was difficult to not have favorite but Zoe was pretty high up on the list. "Mr. Mellark. Miss Everdeen. I was wondering if I could speak to you both for a few minutes."

Katniss nodded and then placed her daughter on the ground. "Why don't you play for a few minutes while we talk?" The girl nodded and then went to join some of the other kids who were chasing each other around the grounds. "We'll be right inside if you need us."

They went back into the classroom where Peeta and Katniss sat at a table across from the teacher's desk. When they were all settled, Ms. Thirby clasped her hands together. "I'm a little concerned over Zoe's behavior today especially in regards to you, Miss Everdeen. Zoe seems overly attached to you and it is affecting her."

"How?" Peeta inquired concerned.

"She seems agitated when her mother is not around. Today, she was more focused on the clock than participating in any of her class work."

"What can I do?" Katniss asked.

"Well it's really about Zoe's reassurance that you plan to remain in her life," the older woman said. "It is a common problem with children even children with both parents present in their life. I just wanted to make you aware so that you can maybe watch out for any signs of her behavior getting worse."

The two nodded."Thank you so much, Miss Thirby," Katniss said and shook her hand.

"Eleanor, please."

The meeting was interrupted by Zoe rushing in. Her eyes looked at them in relief and she approached her father. "Daddy, I'm ready to go," she said and put her head on his shoulder. He kissed her forehead.

"We'll talk more about this at a later meeting with you both," the woman said kindly. "I'll see you tomorrow Zoe."

The three walked outside and through the town. The conversation that they just had laid heavily in Katniss's mind and she wondered how she could possibly help her Zoe. Her eyes met Peeta's and she knew that he was thinking the same thing.

As they approached Peeta's home, they noticed someone waiting on the porch.

Zoe suddenly broke into a full-fledged run. "Aunt Delly!"

Peeta broke out into a wide smile as he saw the blond woman on the porch. Katniss stood behind as she saw her fam—she shook her head. They weren't hers.

Zoe was hugging Delly. "My darling! You've grown," the woman said happily.

Delly looked over at Peeta. "So have you," Delly added. "Too many cookies I see." She poked his stomach jokingly.

Katniss felt her insides clench and she cleared her throat. The three of them turned and her breath left her body. They looked like a perfect family. Peeta and Delly look beautiful with their matching blond hair and glowing blue eyes. Zoe was beaming in-between them. "I'm going to check on Johanna and Gale. They're probably wondering where I've taken off to."

"Katniss?" Delly went to her and pulled her into a hug. She even smelled sweet. "It's so good to see you!" When she stood back, she looked at Zoe then Katniss. "You really do have a lot of the Mockingjay in you."

"Mockingjay?" Zoe looked up in confusion.

"Nothing Zo," Delly said and smiled at Katniss with her perfect teeth. Katniss had to remind herself that once upon a time, Delly and she were good friends. When Peeta was hijacked, she was the one person who defended her.

On the other hand, Delly didn't look like a golden haired angel back then. She had grown into her looks and her figure was trim but curvy in all the right places.

She suddenly felt self conscious of her own stick straight figure. The feeling of wanting to run as fast as she could cross her mind but she remembered the conversation that they had with Zoe's teacher.

"So I'll see you all later," Katniss said and turned to walk away.

"Katniss," Delly called out. "Why don't you have dinner with us? I'm staying at Peeta's till my furniture comes for my new place."

"You're moving back here?" Why did she feel her heart sink into her stomach?

"Didn't Peeta tell you? I'm the new principal of the school," she said. "You can invite Johanna and Gale too." She looked over Katniss's shoulder to where her two friends stood after coming to see what the ruckus was. She waved and gave them a small smile.

"Come please," Peeta said to her earnestly. He went over and quickly kissed her cheek. Her face warmed. "Seven tonight?"

Katniss nodded and Zoe went to hug her waist. "I'll see you later Mommy!"

She watched her daughter join Peeta and Delly at the porch. "We'll see you later Katniss!" Delly called out.

The three entered the house not looking back to see Katniss's dejected expression.

++++++

"Well that's some big surprise," Delly said as she set the table in Peeta's dining room. "How is it going with Katniss?"

"We're trying to get it together," he replied as he checked on the roast he was making. Years of feeding Katniss and then Zoe made him an above average cook. "Not perfect though."

"No relationship is." Delly looked at him for a moment. Peeta always thought of her as a sister and he was happy to know that she would be coming back permanently. She had spent the last five years in District Four. "Peeta, I have to tell you something."

He turned and saw that her eyes were serious. "This sounds bad." Peeta walked over to the counter where she stood. "What's going on Delly?"

"I've met someone," she told him. "Well re-met him anyway. When I came back to check the school out, six months ago, I ran into him. He was preparing for military training and we exchanged addresses. We wrote to one another while he was in the barracks and he came to visit me in District Four. We sort of fell in love."

Peeta hugged his friend. "That's great. I'm so happy for you!"

"There's more." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a ring. "We're engaged." Delly slipped it onto her left ring finger. "We haven't told his family either."

"Why the mystery Dell?" Peeta saw that tears filled her eyes. He had never seen Delly so emotional. Usually she was unflappable.

"There's more," she said and took his hand. "I'm pregnant."

"What?" Peeta's jaw dropped and he quickly recovered by giving his friend a smile. "Well it's not so bad and you're getting married—"

"It's Rory!" Delly shouted and then clapped her hands over her mouth.

Peeta had to sit down for a moment. "Rory," he repeated. "As in Rory Hawthorne?"

Delly nodded her head nervously.

"As in Gale's little brother?"

"Yes and he's not so little anymore," she said with her arms crossed. "Say something."

"He's four years younger than you," Peeta said to her. "You were Zoe's age and he wasn't even born."

"No, he's three years younger than me," Delly retorted. She joined him at the table and took his hand. "Please. You're the closest thing to a brother to me. I need you to support me."

Peeta took a deep breath. "We're still okay," he said and kissed her forehead. "Congratulations."

Delly beamed at him. "By the way, he's coming for dinner.

000000

"Are you ready?" Johanna said as she walked into Katniss's room. She found her friend sifting through her closet. "We have five minutes."

"I have nothing nice to wear," Katniss said and sat back on her bed. "I shouldn't go."

"Oh no you don't." Johanna sat on the bed watching her friend. "Since when did you care about your clothes?" Katniss glared at her as got up to look through her drawers. The realization suddenly hit Johanna. "You're jealous. Of the blond." She only met Delly briefly during her time in District 13 but didn't remember if she was involved with Peeta.

"I am not!" Katniss knew she sounded shrill.

Johanna grinned teasingly. "You are too! You're worried that she is taking your place."

"It doesn't matter about Peeta." Liar. "I'm just getting to know Zoe but it seems like Delly knows her more."

"You don't need to worry about either of them," Johanna informed her. "Peeta has loved you when you've looked far worse." She glared at Johanna."You're Zoe's mom, no one can replace you. You pushed her out of you."

"Then I abandoned her," Katniss replied and sat down next to her friend."I'm a mess."

"Well you are but we can fix some things about this situation." Johanna walked out of the room and came back quickly. She threw something at her friend. "Put this on, keep your hair down and hurry up."

At seven sharp, the three were walking over. Gale was adjusting his collar and Johanna huffed at him.

"You don't have to put on airs. It's just Delly and Peeta," she said and slapped his hand from his collar.

"Well most of us don't look good in leather skirts," he replied staring at her outfit. Johanna winked as they reached the porch. Katniss knocked on the door taking a deep breath and ready to be a gracious guest for her daughter.

The door open and she was greeted by a dark haired man with dark eyes. He was muscular and wearing a uniform. He almost looked like Ga-

"Rory?" Gale went to his brother and pulled him into a hug. "When did you arrive?"

"Just this evening," he informed them and widened the door. "Come in. Delly and Peeta are getting everything ready. Zoe instructed me to open the door as she is not allowed to open the door without her daddy's permission."

"Sounds like her," Johanna said with a laugh. "I'm Johanna by the way." They shook hands.

"She's my girl," Gale said and put an arm around her. Katniss saw how her friend beamed.

Katniss couldn't breathe. Her mind's eye was full of images of Prim and Rory as children. Prim had not reached fourteen when she died and Rory had just turned fourteen when he lost his friend. Katniss could not connect the gangly dark eyed boy with the tall man standing in front of her.

Her eyes were full of tears when Rory went to her. "Hello Katniss." He pulled her into a strong hug. "It's good to see you." She couldn't even speak.

Zoe entered and rushed towards her. "Look Mommy!" She held out a little beret. "Mr. Rory got this for me!" Katniss knelt down and put the beret on the little girl's head. Adjusting it, she fixed her daughter's hair and kissed her forehead.

"Perfect," she said to Zoe and looked up to see Peeta staring at her. She stood up and felt the hem of the dress she wore skim the top of her feet. "Hey." Zoe was examining the fabric of her dress. It was a red with silk printed flowers on it. The empire waist emphasized the bit of curve she had. "I'm hungry. Did you help with dinner?" She looked down at her daughter.

The little girl shook her head. "No, I'm not allowed to touch fire," Zoe replied as they walked into the living room.

Peeta fell into step with them. "You look beautiful," he said. As they all settled in, Delly walked into the room holding a tray of appetizers for them. "Thanks Dell." She nodded and sat next to Katniss.

"Did you go to Mom's yet?" Gale asked his brother.

"No, I just arrived an hour ago," Rory replied and Katniss couldn't get over how deep his voice was. She wonder how Prim might have looked if she had lived. Katniss imagined that she would've resembled their mother in her twenties.

"How did you end up here for dinner?" Johanna asked as she chewed on a roll.

Rory cleared his throat and looked around the room. "I wanted to see my fiancée." He looked over at Delly who was wringing a napkin in her hands. "I guess you're not the only one who has a thing for older women Gale."

Gale nearly choked on the food he was eating. "You're getting married?" He didn't seem angry from what Katniss could tell.

"Congratulations," Johanna said suddenly and went to Delly so that she could hug her. "When is the big day?"

The couple eyed one another. "As soon as possible," Delly informed them with a small smile.

"Why the rush?" Gale asked his brother and he looked like he wanted to yell. "You have time."

"Not really," Rory said and Delly went to his side. "We're expecting a baby."

"And Rory has only a two month leave before he has to report back," Delly added. "I don't want to be showing during the wedding and I'll be busy fixing up the house. I also have my duties as principal for the school." She went to Gale. "I hope you understand. Please don't be angry with Rory because I wanted to wait to tell all of you. We're going to your mother's right after this."

"It's hard to believe that my kid brother is getting married," Gale said calmly. "But if you're what makes him happy than what can I say?" He kissed Delly on the cheek and then went over to hug his brother.

"What do you think Katniss?" Peeta was beside her. She felt frozen in place. "Katniss?"

"Excuse me," she said suddenly and walked out. Sitting on the porch steps, she tried to calm herself. She didn't want to frighten Zoe. Katniss was faintly aware of the door opening and closing.

"Katniss?" It was Rory and he sat next to her with concern in his eyes. Not many people knew that Rory and Prim had been sweethearts for a brief time before she was taken away. It was the one secret that Prim had kept from her mother.

Katniss remembered Prim's giggle when she told her sister of her first kiss or how Rory had held her hand while they ate lunch in the Dining Hall of District 13.

"I know this is a big shock—"

"It's not that I'm upset Rory," she said though her eyes were wet with tears. "It's like I've just realize that she's gone all over again. Life is going on without her."

"I loved Prim, my dear, sweet friend," Rory said to her. "Prim was my first love. There isn't a day when I don't think about her." He wiped his eyes. "But I'm different now. The world is different. Everything has changed since she left us." His face was so serious and hardened. Rory wasn't the same boy that Prim loved. He was a man now. "The best way I can honor her is by living. Living a life full of love like she did." He took her hand. "I hope you're not mad."

She shook her head. "Of course not," she said and wiped her eyes. "I think Prim would be very proud of the person you've become. I'm proud of you too." Rory kissed her cheek. "Congratulations."

Rory nodded. "I should probably check on my bride to be. I think she is worried that you're angry at her."

"Of course not," Katniss said and stood up. "Go check on her and I'll be in after I've composed myself."

He nodded and she squeezed his hand reassuringly. "See you inside."

Katniss rubbed her shoulders to warm herself and looked up at the stars. The dress had sleeves but they were ¾ and sheer. Would Prim have been Rory's bride if the world was different? Perhaps but it didn't work out that way.

She felt something heavy on her shoulders and turned to see Peeta by her side. "Thanks," she said softly wrapping the jacket he draped on her.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he told her. "It's been a crazy few days."

"And getting crazier," she replied. "It's hard to think that little Rory is getting married. Life does go on because it's just what has to happen. I just wish Prim was here."

"She's here," Peeta told her. "In the light of your eyes or Zoe's giggle or even in the cakes I decorate. I often wonder when I'm making them if she would like them. We just remember the small things that remind us of her and we know that she's still in our lives."

"Thank you," Katniss said softly. Before she could stop herself, she brushed her lips against his. When she pulled away, she saw that Peeta's eyes were closed as if he was savoring the moment. "We should get back inside."

He nodded. "We have a very hungry daughter waiting for us." They entered the house for the celebratory dinner.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hunger Games Wiki states that Prim is not even fourteen when she is killed while Rory is between 13-14 during Mockingjay. Katniss, Peeta, and Delly were 17 during Mockingjay. So 25 and 28 are not too far apart from one another for Delly and Rory.

So there was a rival but not the rivalry you thought or maybe some of you did.

Zoe's problems are relatively mild but have the potential to become big parts of her psyche.

The flashback was pretty dark this time and it was based on my friend's experience as well as my mother's experience with depression after surgery. I did add a little fluff to keep it a little frothy. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Next: The Toasting

I would love to get to a 100 if possible! Review! Review!


	6. Things That You Wanted to Say

Authors Notes at the bottom.

I do not own Hunger Games, I just play with their characters.

And there's no way home

when it's late at night and you're all alone.

Are there things that you wanted to say?

And do you feel me beside you in your bed,

there beside you, where I used to lay?

-Patty Smyth and Don Henley (Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough)

 

All I Know

By JLaLa

Chapter Six: Things That You Wanted to Say

"Thank you for helping me, Katniss," Delly said as she wore the dress that she would marry Rory in. Katniss knelt on the floor adjusting the hem. She used to make adjustment to both her and Prim's clothes when she was younger so she knew her fair share of sewing.

She had given Delly a dress that Peeta found in her old attic. It was an original that Cinna had designed as one of her pretend creations. The dress was ivory with intricate embroidery on the top section. The skirt flared out in a mermaid style. Right now it had too much tail for a simple toasting.

Katniss remained silent. She was deep in thought thinking about Prim. She wondered if it had been different would she be fixing this for her younger sister. It wasn't that she didn't like Delly but it was something that she had to get use to.

Delly could sense her discomfort and put a hand on Katniss's shoulder. "Please stop." Katniss pulled back and sat on her feet. The other woman sat in a nearby chair and folded her hands. "I know that you don't want this. You probably wanted Prim here instead of me."

She looked resigned as she continued. "I love Rory. Maybe not all my life like Peeta has loved you but I love the man Rory became. He is very different from the boy that you and Prim knew. I hope that you can understand or try to."

"I am trying," Katniss admitted looking at Delly. "But you both look so similar that I imagine that Prim might've looked like you. I can't help it but wonder—what might have been."

"Have you ever thought about marrying Peeta?" Delly suddenly asked. "I mean before when you were going to have Zoe?"

Katniss scoffed quietly. "Peeta knew how I felt about marriage."

"Well you didn't want children either," Delly said. "Do you not want Zoe?"

Katniss felt her anger rising. "Of course I do." She sighed. "Maybe I didn't before but I couldn't imagine my life without her now."

"Things change Katniss," Delly said and went to Katniss making sure to not make a mess of her skirt. She slowly knelt down. "You can wonder all of your life about what could've been but it doesn't get you anywhere in the end. You have to look at what is and make your decisions then." Delly looked at her. "I hope that you think I'm the second best choice for Rory because I really want to be his wife."

Katniss smiled at her. "I know you do," she replied and patted her hand. "That's all anyone can ask of their spouse. That they just want to be with them and to be called their wife or husband."

Delly peered at her. "Do you still feel the same about marriage?"

She didn't reply.

++++++

The evening of the toasting was warm. Johanna and Gale would be standing with Rory and Delly so they had gone ahead of her to Peeta's house. When she entered, Katniss saw that a good crowd had already formed. The fireplace was already set up and the bread that Peeta had prepared was already arranged on a table nearby.

She stood at the wide arched doorway and observed quietly. The Hawthornes were already seated as well as some of Rory's classmates and military friends.

"That's some dress." Katniss turned to see Peeta beside her. She smiled. "Green always suited you best." She did a twirl so that the pleats of the dress swirled to expose a little bit of leg.

Peeta's eyes widened in appreciation. She nodded to him. "You look good," she replied. Peeta was in a charcoal gray suit and he looked older. That wasn't saying much as Peeta still looked as young as he did when they were in the Games. "Where's Zoe?"

"Cooing over her Aunt Delly," he said as leaned against the opposite side of the archway. "She will be along. Are you okay?"

Before she could respond, the crowd quieted as Rory entered from the dining room. He looked so dignified in his uniform. Going over to fireplace, Gale went to his side and clapped his younger brother's shoulder. The two stood and she couldn't help but compare the two. They looked similar in coloring and could pass for twins but Rory's jaw line was more squared off in oppose to Gale's pointed chin.

Delly descended down the stairs holding Zoe's hand till they reached the bottom. The little girl helped adjust the train before going to Peeta. Zoe leaned back against her father's front side and he enfolded his arms protectively around her.

The bride smiled at Katniss when she reached the doorway of the room and Katniss took Delly's hand giving her a reassuring squeeze. Delly took a deep breath and made her way over to Rory whose eyes followed her every movement.

Katniss looked over to Peeta and found him staring at the couple and her mind drifted to a summer morning in the same house where they stood.

They were on the porch bench and Katniss was laid out with her head on Peeta's lap. It was one of those good pregnancy mornings. She was into her fifth month and beginning to feel the fluttering of the person invading her body. Katniss had thought it was gas the first time it happened. It didn't feel exciting to her just…persistent. Like it was hell bent on letting her know that it was there.

Peeta was tracing circles on her belly as he looked out on the scenery. It was a quiet morning; the only sound being the faint squawks of the geese in Haymitch's yard. He looked down and brushed his lips quickly against hers. Her hormones wished that he would deepen the kiss but he seemed happy to just be.

"Do you think we should get married?"

She looked up in shock and sat up quickly—as quickly as she could for being pregnant. Katniss turned to him as she recovered from what she had just heard and glared at him. "Why are you asking me? Is it because of this?" She gestured to her stomach.

His face contorted in anger. "You always think the worse of me." He stood up and went over to the porch fence. Katniss saw that his hands gripped the fence tightly and she felt annoyed at his overreaction.

She went over to him. "You know how I feel about marriage. Did you think that would change because of it?" Katniss saw his face turn red and he whipped around to face her.

"Stop calling the baby that. He or she is a person; a part of me and you not some object!" Peeta looked at her with exasperation and ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't mean to upset you. I just want us to be a family."

"Families break apart. They leave you alone to go to other Districts or get blown up or they burn to death when their bakeries are bombed down!"

Katniss crossed her arms and turned away. To her, the subject was closed.

"You really know how to ruin a day Katniss," Peeta said spitefully and walked away. She didn't turn when she heard the front door slam as he walked back into the house.

For a moment, she listened to the quietness from where she stood. Then she went slowly back to the bench and sat. Katniss breathe in to calm herself and looked down at her stomach.

It was fluttering again.

Katniss snapped out of her memory realizing that the toasting had already begun. Rory and Delly were holding hands in front of the fireplace so that they could make their vows.

"I had a friend once who taught me about love," Rory began. Prim. "When she left us, I stopped believing everything she ever told me about it." He kissed Delly's hand. "Then I met you and I remembered. Because in the end, I don't think she wanted me to know for her but for you. So I could find you when the time came. She taught me that love is constant, unwavering, and unselfish. Most of all, love is wonderful and I think that is what I remember the most because the world needs a little wonder. Loving you is wonderful and I will never take that for granted."

Katniss turned and saw that Peeta was staring at her instead of the couple. She held his gaze and her heart was beating harshly against her chest. It was as if he was looking right into her and she felt exposed, naked even. The tears in her eyes spilled over onto her cheeks. She was crying for Prim, herself and most of all for him. He had loved her in all the ways that Rory described while she remained cold and unmoved.

She inhaled quickly to stop the gasping that threatened to take over her body so she could listen to Delly. "I've seen so many horrible things in my life. Sometimes I believe I will never escape them." Delly closed her eyes for a moment. "And then I see you and the world is not horrible." She looked up at him earnestly. "You brought me back to life. I know that I am not your first love but I hope that WE are your last loves." Delly put a hand to her abdomen where only a tiny swell could be seen.

The couple knelt before the fireplace. Johanna adjusted Delly's train and Gale handed the plate with the pieces of bread to his brother.

Rory took a piece and held a piece against the flame until it was a honey colored brown. He held it to Delly's mouth and she ate the piece smiling softly. Delly did the same but her hand shook nervously so Rory guided her hand as she toasted her piece. He led her hand to his mouth so that he could eat the piece.

Rory helped her up and their lips met in a soft, shy kiss. He pulled his wife into his arms and she rested her cheek against his. Their eyes remained closed in content as the applause began.

When Katniss turn to look over at Peeta, she saw that he had gone. Zoe remained smiling and clapping. She went over to Katniss and she put her arm around Zoe pulling her closer to her side.

When Peeta returned, he saw the two watching the couple with the same expression.

++++++

The backyard of Peeta's house had been set up so that the wedding party could have a simple celebration. Katniss could tell that Peeta had put a lot of work into the yard. The lawn was mown and all the toys put away. Hanging lights were strung across to illuminate the party. White tables were assembled around so that guests could sit and eat the cake that Peeta had made.

It was the loveliest cake that Peeta had ever made. It was a marbled chocolate cake inside but the outside was an ivory fondant with round balls that wrapped around each tier.

Johanna approached her holding a glass of wine delivered by train this morning. "Nice cake," she said as she swayed in her burgundy dress.

"Coal into pearls," she replied remembering Effie's promotion of them during the Games.

"I knew you would get the concept," Peeta said as he went to her and offered her a glass of wine. She took it gratefully and they stood together watching the party.

Johanna took off to check on Gale. Zoe was running around with some of Greasy Sae's grandchildren as the newlyweds danced slowly in the makeshift dance floor. "They look really happy."

She nodded in agreement. "Where is the music coming from?" Peeta took her hand and led her to a small silver box where a small screen and two buttons. "Delly had it in her old apartment. She already preloaded the music in it. I thought it would be nice to have for the party." He looked over at her and blushed. "I know it is kind of corny but weddings have to be sometimes. I just wanted to make perfect for them."

"You did Peeta," she said and looked around. Everyone was smiling and enjoying the time away from their everyday activities. Johanna and Gale were sitting with Hazelle, Vick and Posy chatting at a table. Gale met her eyes and raised his glass to her. She did the same. "Everyone is having a great time."

"You don't seem to be having a good time," he remarked as she took a sip from her glass. "You would think that the prettiest woman here would be enjoying herself."

"You're drunk," she replied and put her glass down on the nearest table. She was starting to feel warm herself and she remembered that was why she didn't like alcohol. It didn't relax her but put her on edge. "You are supposed to tell the bride that."

"Delly looks nice but she likes a sister to me." She was aware of his eyes on her. "And I'm not drunk."

"What am I to you then?" Katniss looked over at him. He really did look great in his suit. She had to remind herself to not drink anymore. It only caused these kinds of feelings.

"You're beautiful," he told her and she could see the genuineness in his blue eyes. "Do you want to dance?"

"Dance? I don't think so. I left my dancing shoes in the Capitol," she told him.

"Come on," he urged. "I know you remember some of the basic moves from those Victor parties." Peeta gave her a small pout though his eyes were joking and she had to relent.

"This is just sad Mellark." She grabbed the glass from the table and in a quick tilt finished it off. "Come on." They went to the makeshift floor aware that some of their friends were looking at them.

He put a hand to her waist and pulled her close. Taking her hand, he entwined it with his other. "I thought I was going to have to do a lot more convincing to get you to do this. The wine must be getting to you."

Katniss laughed softly. "I'm just warm but nothing else." She rested her head on his shoulder enjoying the soft piano and the honeyed voice of the singer.

There comes you to keep me safe from harm

There comes you to take me in your arms

Is it just a game?

I don't know

Is it just a game?

I don't know…

She lifted her head for a moment and looked into his eyes. "This song is about us, isn't it?" He nodded and pulled her closer to him. Katniss pressed her cheek against his and closed her eyes letting him guide her.

Take my hand and my heart races

Flames illuminate our faces

And we're on fire…

Katniss wrapped her arms around his neck. "Why does this feel right?" She didn't know who she was asking. She pulled away from Peeta for a moment and his eyes seemed to be begging her to ask him. "You still love me. Real or not real?"

He kept his eyes on her. "Why do you ask questions that you already know the answers to?" His voice was barely above a whisper as if he was scared to give her an answer.

She moved her face closer to his and she could see the blond lashes that surrounded his eyes.

"Answer me."

"Real. Always real." Peeta cupped her cheek with his hand. "You know that. We have other people to think about though." Katniss looked to see Zoe watching them with a curious tilt to her head. Johanna seem to sense something and led the girl away. "I don't think you know what you feel Katniss and I can't risk getting our hearts broken. I don't know if I can do it again."

Katniss moved away from him. "What do you mean?" She could feel her frustration rising.

Some of the guests turn to see what was going on. "I don't think we should talk about this here," he hissed at her and grabbed her wrist to lead her away.

Peeta dragged her sullen form a few paces away to where Victors Village met the fence of the woods. Her tiny heels were already lost halfway through their walk. As she slid under the fence, she knew that the dress she wore was now dirty from the earth.

Peeta continued to pull her further into the woods. She wasn't afraid as she knew the woods but the angry man in front of her was a stranger. Finally, Peeta stopped and swung her around so she was facing him.

"I worked really hard to make this day perfect for Rory and Delly. I don't need you trying to confront your issues during their wedding." Peeta approached her. "I knew this had to happen. Now let it out. Throw your tantrum here because no one can hear you," he said as he glared at her. "Well go ahead!"

Katniss remained quiet and crossed her arms. Turning her head away seemed to spark a fire in the man.

"Fine. You want me to start. You're a selfish bitch sometimes Katniss. It is not fair that you come back here and just decide that you love Zoe. You don't deserve her! You missed four years of tears and laughter. You missed her learning to walk and talk. She loves you and I know you Katniss. When it gets hard, you bolt. You will decide that you love Zoe and me but I know it could be a matter of days or months before you take off."

He paced a bit before facing her again. "I hate that you dragged my feelings out of me because now you have the upper hand again. You could fake loving me in front of the Capitol back then but you can't toy with me anymore. Not with Zoe. Because in the end, I have Zoe and you have no one."

She remained silent and he looked at her in disgust. "I know. You're not good at saying something," he mocked her.

"Not everyone is like you Peeta," she replied. "I've never been good at telling people how I feel. Here I am standing in front of you telling you what I can and instead you just make fun of me. Well you're not perfect either. You knew how I felt about children and yet you insisted. How did you expect me to act? Like I was happy about it?"

She walked up to him. "Here is the truth. I wasn't because I wasn't happy with myself. I didn't want to live. As much as you loved me it didn't feel like enough. It is never enough if you don't love yourself."

She felt like taking a swing at him. "I know that I was gone for a lot of important moments in Zoe's life and I will never be able to take that back!" Her voice had now reached a high pitched shrillness. "I know that she will eventually ask me and I have no answers for her. All I am able to tell her is that I screwed up! That her mother was so sick of dealing with herself that she couldn't feel for the baby inside her."

Her shoulders sank and she looked at Peeta. "Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Peeta's looked at her for a moment. "How can I possibly trust that you won't just leave us one day? How can I trust that you really are in love with me?"

She straightened herself. "You can't."

"Then we are back to square one," he said and she saw how sad he looked in the light of the moon.

Katniss went to him. "No, we're not. We can turn the tables on this. There is always a choice to make Peeta. We make our own rules. You taught me that." She took his face in her hands looking into his eyes. "I love you. I will always love you. You needed to hear that and you might not believe it. But I don't care anymore." They didn't speak for a moment; the only sounds being their heavy breathing.

Peeta grabbed her wrists. He looked into her eyes for a moment before she was pulled and their lips met. She felt the old fire build inside her though it wasn't quite the same. It was as if any moment they both might burst into flames. It was just the two of them again as it had been in the Games but this time there was no show to be filmed.

Katniss could not understand what had possessed her to lay it on the floor like that.

She just knew that she was tired of hiding.

When they pulled away, they leaned their foreheads against each other trying to catch their breath.

"Wow," Peeta said breathlessly. "What happens now?"

Katniss took his hands in hers. "You said you wanted this time to be different. And it will be."

++++++

They woke up to the sounds of yelling. It was Johanna and Gale. Katniss realized that Gale would have guessed where they ended up. Peeta groaned beside her and she lifted her head from his shoulder.

"What time is it?" he asked groggily. Peeta turned to her with a soft smile. "I hope that Zoe is asleep or she will have my head." She smiled at the thought of her small daughter bossing Peeta around. Katniss giggled quietly and Peeta turn to her. "Yes, I can't seem to resist dark haired women with domineering personalities."

"There you are!" The moment was broken as Johanna and Gale approached them. "We thought you might have killed each other or something,"

"Well they are definitely not dead," Johanna said and quirked her eyebrows as she took in their disheleved appearance.

Katniss's dress was ruined as the skirt was streaked with dirt. Peeta's suit was rumpled and there was a rip on his jacket from when they had crawled under the fence.

"Who is watching Zoe?" Peeta asked as they made their way out of the woods.

"Posy," Gale replied as they got to the fence. Johanna crawled under followed by Peeta and Katniss. "We'll walk her home since we're staying overnight at my mom's."

Katniss had offered her home so that Delly and Rory would have a place to stay on their wedding night. She would be staying at Peeta's house which was technically her home anyway.

Johanna watched Peeta and Katniss carefully. There was something in the way they walked closely to one another. Peeta put an arm around Katniss and she looked up at him with a smile. Their eyes stayed glued on one another.

She went to Gale. "Something's happened." He followed her gaze to where the other two were whispering into each other's ears. There was something intimate in the way Katniss brushed the man's hand or the small giggle that escaped her mouth.

Gale thought back to a few months ago when she was stick thin and jittery. Now her cheeks were filled in and the eyes that were once lifeless were now glowing. It was that something that only the person you love can do for you. He turned to look at Johanna who was sporting a triumphant grin.

"Fine. You win." He took a stack of bills and handed it to her open hand.

She counted the bills and stuffed the money in her bra. "I'll let Rory know that I won the pool."

++++++

The little girl sighed in her sleep and Katniss kissed her forehead. "Goodnight baby." She turned to see Peeta watching her from the doorway and she pulled the blanket to Zoe's shoulders. Joining him at the doorway, they looked at their daughter once more before closing the door.

When the door was closed, Peeta gently pushed her against the wall so that he could kiss her. Katniss ran her hands through his hair and pulled him closer to her. He trailed kisses down her neck and pulled the strap from her dress aside so he could kiss the skin there.

"Should we be doing this here?" she asked in fear that Zoe might catch them in the act.

Peeta pulled back and took her hand leading her to his room. "I'll sleep on the couch."

"You have two other rooms up here," she said. "Why don't you take one of them?"

"With you just a few feet away?" He kissed her. "Do you think I'm made of steel?"

"Fair enough," she said. "Goodnight Peeta." Katniss went to the door and closed it behind her. Quickly she changed into a long t-shirt.

As she approached the bed, she pulled back the blanket and stared at the space where she used to lay next to Peeta. She thought back at the nights where she had laid there angry at him for so many reasons or where she would stare in fear at her swollen stomach.

Instead she went to the side where he would sleep and settled in. Katniss turned her head into his pillow and inhaled the sweet smell that was Peeta; the scent of baked goods. She felt her eyelids grow heavy and before she knew it she was fast asleep.

She was sitting in the bed when Greasy Sae came in. "She's lovely Katniss."

Katniss looked at her in confusion and followed the older woman's eyes downward. In her arms was a newborn Zoe and she gasped at the sight of her. Her dark hair was the soft fluff of a newborn and her skin was a lovely cream color. Zoe was beautiful. How did she not fall deeply in love with this baby before?

Her eyes filled with tears. "She is, isn't she?"

"I'll let you get acquainted," Greasy Sae said and the older woman kissed the side of her head. "Take care of her and that young man of yours."

Katniss nodded and she carefully got up as she held Zoe. Then she noticed something else as she looked at the mirror opposite the bed. She was wearing a long silky robe and her hair was down in dark waves. It looked like she had just had a Capitol makeover instead of giving birth.

"Looking good Katniss." She turned and almost fell to her knees. Cinna. He looked like he had when they had first met in the Capitol right down to the gold eyeliner.

"Cinna," she said in shock and instinctively held Zoe against her. The man approached her and her eyes filled with tears as she thought of the last time she had seen him. Such a horrible memory.

"Is this her?"He asked and she proudly presented her daughter to him.

"Her name is Zoe," she told him.

"She looks just like you. A mini Girl on Fire." They sat down on her bed and they were silent for a moment staring at the baby. "In time, you will have to tell her about your past."

"I know." She looked sadly at her friend. "How can I do it? She will think I am a monster."

"She will think that you're the bravest woman she knows." He kissed her forehead. "I am always betting on you."

Then he was gone and Zoe let out a small cry. "It's okay baby. Don't cry." She hummed quietly and rocked the girl.

"So you're back," Haymitch said at the door way. He approached her and Katniss couldn't believe how healthy he looked. "About damn time too."

"Well hello to you Haymitch,"she said with a smirk than her face fell realizing that the last time he saw her, he was watching her leave. Katniss swallowed her tears and held Zoe out to him. "Isn't she beautiful?"

Haymitch looked down at the baby for a moment and his eyes looked at her the same way they did in all the pictures that she had seen of them together. He adored Zoe. Taking the photo that Peeta had placed in his coffin out of his pocket, Haymitch thumbed Zoe's face.

They looked down at the newborn Zoe together when he spoke again. "You know it's going to be hard, right?"

"Yes," she replied still looking at her daughter.

"And you and Peeta will not always get along."

"I know." Then she looked up at him. "I love them both. I could never let them go. Even when I was gone and I felt nothing. I never let them go."

Haymitch searched her eyes before nodding and putting an arm around her. They went back to looking at the sleeping baby. "Me too."

Katniss knew who would be the last person visiting her. "Prim."

She turned and found her sister standing at the doorway with a soft smile on her face. While the smile was the same, Prim had aged and she looked like she was in her twenties. The age that she would have been if she had lived.

"Hello Little Duck," she greeted and the two met inbetween the door and the bed. Prim was the same height as her. Their mother's merchant looks were prominent but she wore the worn blue dress that Katniss had worn during the Reaping.

"Katniss," she began and her eyes were full of tears. "I've missed you so much."

"Me too." Katniss touched her sister's face and it was cool against her own skin. "I think about you every day." She could feel the tears on her face. "There is so much I want to say—"

The room brightened and Katniss could see that things were fading around her. Katniss looked around trying to understand what was happening.

"We don't have much time," her sister replied and looked down at Zoe. "I'm an Aunt." She then turned to Katniss. " I've looked after you both for so long but it's your turn now." Her eyes were serious. "You can't zone out. She is your responsibility now."

"I won't."

"Promise me. No matter how scary it gets. Promise you won't leave her again." Prim's eyes were frantic.

"I promise," Katniss said and Prim pulled her into a hug."I love you Prim."

When she pulled away, Katniss saw that was looking at herself. Her eyes were sunken and her hair hung lifelessly. She wore a light jacket and was clinging to a small rucksack.

It was her on the night she left.

Katniss sat up in bed gasping. She looked around the room. The room was dark except the moonlight streaming the window. Her face was wet and she got up without a thought.

Going across the hall, she entered quietly and Katniss scooted into the bed next to Zoe. The little girl opened her eyes groggily when she felt the movement.

Her tired eyes met Katniss's and Zoe gave her a sleepy smile. "Mommy?"

"Is it okay if I sleep here with you?" she asked the girl quietly and the girl nodded. Katniss pulled Zoe to her and the little girl laid her head on her chest.

"What a nice dream," Zoe mumbled before she fell back to sleep.

Katniss smiled and kissed the top of her daughter's head. In a few moments, she too fell back into a peaceful slumber.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Did I mention how awesome you all were? Thank you for getting me to the 100. Best People Ever.

I had a lot of conflict with writing this chapter as I thought that I might be losing some of you with Katniss and Peeta finally acknowledging that they still loved one another. Some people like the suspense. For me, I think the story of their relationship goes way beyond this acknowledgment. It's how they work as partners, lovers, parents, etc.

In the end, it is a family story primarily. I hope that some of you who might be miffed continue to read as I think it is more interesting to see how they grow as a family. The issues are far from over.

I really did go into a panic from this. Also the night I wrote most of this I overdosed on caffeine and ended up staying up all night.

"Just A Game" by Birdy is a song on the movie's soundtrack. So it really is about them.

I just watched the movie for the second time with my mom and sister. They both loved it. My sister who is four years younger than me asked if I would have volunteered if she had been chosen for a Reaping.

To which I replied, "I would gladly fight to the death for you." Though I think she thought I was being sarcastic.

Reviews are welcome and other comments should be personal messaged to me. Thank you so much!

-JLaLa


	7. The Little Things

Author's notes at the end of the chapter.

 

These characters do not belong to me.

I miss the years that were erased

I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face

I miss all the little things

I never thought that they'd mean everything to me

Yeah I miss you

And I wish you were here.

-Lifehouse (From Where You Are)

All I Know

By JLaLa

Chapter Seven: The Little Things

_It was the crying that woke him up._

_Peeta opened his eyes and saw that it was morning. Turning over, he found that Katniss's side of the bed was empty. He reached his hand over to touch her side and found it cold. When the crying continued, he sat up and found that there was no sign of her._

_"Katniss?" he called out into the empty room. Standing up, he looked into the bathroom to find it empty and then over to the nursery. Their daughter was crying heartily; her face was a tomato red and her lips were puckered up telling Peeta that she was hungry. Picking up the baby, he walked downstairs and went to the milk warmer. He removed a bottle for his daughter and began to feed her._

_It remained eerily silent in the house. Rocking the baby, he continued walking around the house for signs of Katniss's whereabouts. Usually he wasn't surprise by her disappearances as she was always disappearing into the woods or going into the town but Katniss hadn't left the house since the baby was born._

_Peeta looked down and noticed that the baby was asleep so he went back upstairs and placed her in the crib. Walking into the bedroom, he looked around again._

_His eyes caught sight of rumpled pajama on the floor and his mind went to when he awoke to find her side cold to the touch. Peeta felt his insides freeze._

_Something was wrong._

_He was suddenly rushing through the house and checking every room. Where was she?_

_He knew that she had been different these past two weeks since the birth. Greasy Sae said it was normal. That a woman went through these feelings after but Katniss seemed like an extreme case. He had tried to talk to her but often she would turn away. It hurt to see her like that and it brought him back to when they had just returned to District 12 when they had both been zombies functioning only because they had to._

_He walked out into the porch and found the place around him silent. "KATNISS!" His voice cut through the village. Peeta looked around and found no one. He felt his eyes water._

_In the back of his mind was the thought that he had forbidden himself to think. The thought that the pregnancy and the birth had pushed her over the edge and he would find her in the woods or face up in the nearby pond. Peeta contemplated searching the woods but he couldn't leave the baby._

_So he went over and began to knock at Haymitch's door. He increased his pounding after a few minutes and was finally greeted by the sight of a disheveled Haymitch._

_"Is Katniss here? Have you seen her?"_

_The older man shook his head seeing Peeta's anguish. Pushing him onto the porch, he put his hand on Peeta's shoulder._

_"She's gone kid."_

_"No, she's not!" He paced the porch frantically. "She's in town or hunting—"_

_"She is GONE." Haymitch looked at Peeta almost pleading for him to believe. "I saw her go last night."_

_"Why didn't you stop her?" he screamed at his former mentor. Peeta put his face in his hands. "The baby…" He let the tears fall from his eyes._

_"I hate to tell you this Peeta," Haymitch said and he really did look concerned. "She has been gone much longer than you think."_

Peeta awoke in a panic.

For a moment, he was confused about where he was. Slowly as he began to wake up did he realize that he was sleeping on the couch of his home while Katniss slept in their-his bed. Getting up, he ran his hand through his hair and began folding his blankets. The dream still ran through his mind and he remembered the hurt, the confusion, and the fear that had gripped him that day.

After Haymitch had told him that she gone, he felt numb. He didn't remember even walking back to his home. Peeta had spent the whole night up sitting in the rocking chair that he had specially made for the nursery watching Zoe. He feared that she too would disappear in the quietness of night.

As he finished, Peeta heard the giggle coming from the kitchen. Quietly, he went towards the noise until he stood at the doorway and his lips fell into an easy smile. Katniss and Zoe were at the table sitting across from one another. The two were drinking from matching tea cups and Katniss had found some leftover bread so they could have a small breakfast.

"Morning Daddy," Zoe said. "Look we are having a tea party."

His eyes met Katniss's and she smiled softly at him. The events of last night came rushing through him and he smiled back at her. Walking over to Zoe, he kissed the top of her head then he went to Katniss to do the same.

"Morning," he said as he looked into her eyes. She stared up at him with her steel eyes and he felt himself melt into them.

Sitting between them, he ripped off a piece of the bread and began to slather it with butter. "What were you two talking about?" Peeta took a bite as he looked at the two. Zoe's hair was already in a braid while Katniss's hair was down in waves. It was still rumpled from sleep and she was wearing a heavy knit sweater over her sleep shirt.

"Mommy and me had a sleepover," Zoe said excitedly as Katniss sipped her tea. He met her eyes.

"I had a dream last night," Katniss said simply and then turned to Zoe. "Zoe, why don't you get dressed and we can go take a walk to the woods with your Daddy?"

The girl nodded and skipped off to her room leaving the two adults alone.

"What did you dream about?" Peeta asked and reached for her hand as he caressed her skin with his thumb.

"I dreamt of the day I gave birth," she replied as she squeezed his hand. "Except it was the way I would have wanted it because Prim came. So did Cinna, Greasy Sae and Haymitch. What did you dream about?"

"How did you know I had a dream?"

"You practically inhaled that bread," Katniss said to him with sly smile. "You never eat like that unless you have a dream or flashback. It's like they drain your energy."

"I dreamt about the morning after you left," he said as took another bite and Peeta suddenly felt like weeping.

Katniss went to him and sat on his lap. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

"I just remember how cold your side of the bed was." He looked up at her and tightened his hold around her waist. "Zoe was crying for your milk. Then Haymitch was telling me that you had left. It was more of the feeling it gave me. The anxiety of not knowing what happened to you."

Her eyes were filled with tears and he wiped them away. "You know this won't be easy, right?" She nodded quickly.

"Haymitch said the same thing in my dream," she said to him softly. "I don't think I deserve it. For this to be easy, that is. But I am trying to."

Peeta reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear. "We will get there. Now why don't you give me a proper good morning?"

She laughed and complied thoroughly.

++++++

The three spent the afternoon roaming the woods while Katniss told Zoe about her days hunting in the woods. She told her daughter about the deer that she had traded for silk ribbons for Prim's hair or how Gale had taught her about snares when she was younger.

"Your mom is a brilliant shot," Peeta said when they sat down on a log for a break. "She could hit a squirrel straight through the eye. Your grandfather loved them."

Zoe sat on his lap and leaned back so she could put the back of her head against his shoulder. She looked up at the tall trees and closed her eyes for a moment.

"What are you doing?" Peeta asked her.

"I was talking to the sky," she said to them. Zoe got up and then turned suddenly to her parents. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," Katniss said with a smile. The little girl rocked between her feet nervously.

Her eyes were serious when she looked at them. "What does it mean to get married?"

"Why do you want to know Zoe?" Peeta was curious as to what would get his daughter to ask such a question.

She put her index finger to her chin thinking of an answer. "I don't know." Zoe shrugged her shoulders. "I like that we had a party and Aunt Delly wore a pretty dress and she got to eat bread with my new Uncle Rory. Why did they do that?"

Peeta met Katniss's eyes. He could never understand how Zoe would come up with questions like this.

She was brilliant. Sometimes too brilliant.

"Well, I suppose because they love one another," he informed her.

She nodded her head digesting the information for a moment. "But don't you and Mommy love each other? Why aren't you married?"

"Did you want to take this?" He turned to Katniss with a smile.

"Of course I love your Dad," Katniss said carefully. "And I love you too. Getting married is not important to me."

"Why is it not important?" Zoe's curious eyes were as big as saucers.

"Honestly," she continued and brought her daughter to her lap. "My Mom and Dad loved each other very much and they ran off and got married. Then my Dad died and my Mom became very sad. She was so sad that she couldn't take care of me and your Aunt Prim. We almost starved."

What she didn't say was that was her parent's marriage led to heartbreak. Marriage would subsequently lead to heartbreak and he knew that she couldn't deal with that kind of pain.

"That's very sad," Zoe said and wrapped her arms around her neck. "I don't think you would ever be hungry. Daddy wouldn't let you starve."

Katniss met his eyes. "He never has."

"Why don't we head back?"

He stood and picked Zoe up. They walked the few minutes silently to the fence. Katniss crawled under followed by Zoe who she picked up. Peeta joined them a few seconds later as they continued to walk down the road until they were at Victors Village. By then Zoe had fallen asleep in her arms and her head dangled in Katniss's arms.

"I'll take her," Peeta said but she held Zoe tighter.

"No, I'm okay." Katniss looked down at her daughter. "I want to carry for as long as I can. Soon she'll be too big and I already missed out on so much."

Peeta pulled her to his side with a grin. He kissed the side of her head as they walked to his home. Quietly they entered and went up to tuck Zoe in as napped. When they entered Zoe's room and set her on the bed, they began to remove her shoes and then her sweater. Peeta pulled the blanket over her and they walked out quietly.

In the hallway, he turned to her and saw Katniss smiling shyly. "She'll be out for two to three hours,"  
he informed her and took her hand. "What should we do?"

"Whatever you want." She looked at him with a glint in her eyes. "I mean it. Anything."

He took her across to his room. Katniss raised her eyebrows but her eyes were calm. While he wanted her badly, Peeta didn't want to rush into sex quickly. The two of them could often let things get out of hand and the last time they had, she had gotten pregnant with Zoe.

"We are just going to lay down," he assured her. "That's the thing about parenthood. You take rest when you can get it."

Katniss went on his side so he took her former side. They stared at the ceiling for a moment before he turned to look at her. "Can I ask you to do something?"

She turned to her side pushing herself up using her elbow. "What?"

Peeta felt his face redden. "Could you lay on top of me?" After a moment of silence from her, he explained himself. "I just want to hold you like I used to. You know like when I would come home from the bakery and we would tell each other about our days?"

She remained silent and he wondered if she would refuse him. Instead she carefully went over to him and straddled him. Slowly she put her head on his chest and lined up her body with his making sure that she didn't disturb his leg. He folded his arms over her and caressed her back. Peeta undid her hair so that he could run his hand over it.

She looked up him with her chin on his chest and smiled. "Hello." Pushing herself up, Katniss kissed him softly. Peeta responded in kind and he loved the weight of her lips on his. The taste of her was intoxicating and he couldn't get enough.

He pulled back. "Let's try to take this slow. Hard as it is." Katniss laughed and he had to grin. "I really didn't mean it like that."

She put her head back against his chest. "I like this," she said quietly.

"Katniss," he began. "Can you tell me what happened the day after you left?" She looked up. "I just need to know. I think we both need to talk about these things."

"You're right," she whispered. "It's hard to relive these things."

"I know." Peeta ran his hand down her arm gently.

Katniss sighed.

_Her legs were shaking when she reached the address that Johanna had given her a few months ago. Approaching the door, she tentatively knocked on the red door and waited. The door opened to reveal Johanna holding a knife, her eyes wild. When she saw that it was Katniss, she lowered her knife._

_"What are you doing here?" She scratched the back of her head with the base of the knife. "You look like crap. No, actually worse than that."_

_"Can I come in?" Her voice was raspy from crying throughout the long ride to District 2._

_Johanna widened the door as she examined her friend. "Where's Peeta?"_

_"In District 12, where he belongs," she said and put a hand to her mouth to cover the sob that threatened to come out._

_"Where you belong," Johanna stated._

_Katniss shook her head. "No, not anymore."_

_Johanna could see that something bad had gone down. Her friend's appearance was just one of the problems. Her eyes had a manic expression and her body was stiff as she moved. It was as if she would fall over any second. She had thought of asking about Peeta but it seemed like his name cut into Katniss._

_"Can I stay with you?" Katniss was not one to ask for help. She desperately needed to be away. Away from him and away from her._

_"I don't know," Johanna replied. "I'm not here a lot and Katniss, you need help. There is something going on with you and it is scaring me—"_

_"Please!" Katniss frantically dug through her bag. "I have money. I will get more." She went to Johanna and grabbed her wrist trying to push the money into her hands. "Please, please, I can't go back!"_

_Johanna let the cash fall. "This is not about money. And I don't understand what is going on with you and Peeta. You seemed fine the last time I saw you."_

_Katniss began to cry and her eyes were crazed. This was not the Katniss she knew. "I swear I will kill myself. I will find the tallest building in District 2 and jump off it! You're supposed to be my friend and I just need a place to be. Because nothing feels real anymore. I don't know what I will do…" Johanna felt her heart quicken at her words._

_She pulled Katniss in her arms and shushed the girl. Katniss began to weep in earnest. "Stay then. You need to see a doctor though. This isn't healthy."_

_Johanna showed her friend to her guest room. She checked the bathroom and made sure that she didn't leave any spare razors. She contemplated taking down the shower rod but decided she would just do hourly checks on her friend._

_When she went to Katniss, she found her asleep in the bed. Johanna removed her shoes and placed a blanket over her before exiting the room._

_Downstairs she went to the kitchen and picked up the phone. Hesitant for a moment, she took a deep breath and dialed._

_"Hello?"_

_"Gale, it's Johanna. I need to talk to you about Katniss. She's here and she's not good."_

When Katniss stopped the story, Peeta's face was streaked with tears and her face was turned to the side. He could see the tearstains on his shirt.

"Baby." He pulled her up so that he could look into her eyes. "Oh God. That is about the scariest shit I've ever heard." Katniss was looking at him with remorseful eyes and he kissed her salty lips.

"I was in a real bad place," she said in tears. "Johanna made me see a doctor and he kept saying things about depression. And that it happens to women after they give birth sometimes. I asked them to not mention Zoe to Johanna or Gale. I took the pills they gave me and it felt okay for a bit but I was still sad. I started to talk to a counselor when I went to District One."

"What happened after you started to speak to someone?" he asked as he sat up a little more. Katniss straddled him and wrapped her arms under his so that he could rest his chin on the top of her head.

"There were a combination of things that were wrong with me. PTSD, anxiety, post-partum…my psychological chart probably has its own cabinet. Six months in, I started to realize how much I messed up and I was so ashamed. I missed so much of her life and yours."

"We start again remember?" He kissed reassuringly. "Everyday won't be easy, right?"

"Yes," Katniss responded and they were quiet for a moment. "Did you say shit?"

"Yeah."

"It's weird to hear you curse," she said as she buried her face into his chest. "I remember the boy from the Games who was nice to me even when I didn't deserve it. Now you're swearing as bad as Johanna."

"I'm growing up," he replied with pulled her closer.

She looked up and rested her chin against his chest. "We'll grow together."

++++++

They continued this routine throughout the week. Every day they would drop Zoe off together. Then Peeta would take Katniss to his place where they would tell each other about their past. She would always lay on him, either on the couch or on the bed. It made him feel like she was real and not one of his 'shiny' dreams when he felt her weight on his body.

He told her about Zoe's first steps that day and how she had been chasing one of Haymitch's geese when it happened. Then the goose had bit her and she screamed bloody murder.

"That night I thought he had cooked it but instead he built a gate to keep Zoe and the geese separated," he told her as they rested on the couch. "He really loved her."

"I'm glad," she said. "What was her first word?"

"Haymitch," he told her with a grin. "Instead it came out as 'Mitch-umm'."

"I wish I could have heard that," she said wistfully.

He ran his hand up and down her back. "Can you tell me about the incident with Gale?" he asked suddenly.

She pushed herself up and looked at him. Her hair was loose and was falling over a single shoulder. "Why do you want to know about it? It was nothing."

"I don't know," Peeta replied. "Just seems like something I need to hear."

"You might regret it," she replied. "And it's all been going so well that I'm afraid it will be ruined by this."

"I promise," he said to her and kissed her. "I will be okay."

_Katniss had been sitting in the living room when he had come. Johanna was on duty for two days but would no doubt come rushing home to make sure she wasn't hanging from the shower rod. She had been in District Two for four months and it had not been the easiest for her. She never told Johanna what had happened with Peeta or that she had given birth to a nameless baby girl. Johanna remained unaware though she suspected that she already spoke to Peeta just to let him know that she was safe._

_It was difficult to disguise that she had a baby. Her breast ached with the milk that was intended for the baby in District 12. She had taken to pumping in her room late at night. During the pumping she would find herself in tears, part from the pain and the other part from heartache. Was the baby okay? The night before, Johanna had knocked on her door and she ignored her calling so focused on her tears as well as getting the milk out._

_The knock on the door pulled her out of her thoughts and she untangled herself from the couch to answer the door. When she opened it, Katniss found herself staring at a tall dark haired man._

_"Hey stranger." Gale. She gave him a half-smile as she widened the door for him to enter._

_"What are you doing here?" she asked as she closed the door. Katniss turned to him with a glare. "Did Johanna tell you to check on me while she was on duty?"_

_"No, but she did tell me to come see you since I was on leave," he replied. Walking over to the living room, they both sat on the couch. Katniss tucked her feet under her legs. When they settled he turned to her. "Really how are you?"_

_She turned to him and he noticed how empty her eyes were. Where was the girl he knew? The one from the woods? The huntress? Whatever had happened with Peeta had really messed her up. He thought about contacting Mellark to either get information or to beat him to a pulp. It would be too strange to talk to him however. Johanna, he knew, would occasionally send very short letters letting him know that she was okay._

_"I don't want to jump off a building if that's what you're asking," she replied but he could see the pain that had filled her eyes and she gripped the arm of the couch. "I need a moment. Excuse me—" He held her arm down so that she would sit back down._

_Instinctively they reached for one another. For years they had been each other's rocks and he could tell that she was hurting. Katniss let him hold her and she closed her eyes. She felt safe in that moment._

_She looked up at him with sad grey eyes and they shone with tears. "I really did miss you."_

_Gale looked down at her and his expression was the same one that he always looked at her with. She just now realized that it was longing. How naïve she had been! Slowly he leaned down and kissed her lips._

_She felt starved for affection so she let him kiss her. They had shared a brief interlude in District 13 while they were soldiers under Coin. She knew that he had wanted her for a long time._

_After they had pulled away, she stood up and took his hand to go to her room. She needed to forget everything for a moment. When they reached the door of her room, her hand froze on the door knob. If Katniss did this than that would be it. Peeta would never forgive her._

_Then it crossed her mind that maybe she would be able to move on. The pain of separation could be ebbed by a moment with Gale. So she turned the knob and entered the room._

_The room was filled with an awkward air and she didn't meet his eyes as she went to her bed. Katniss laid back and rested her arms out on the pillows. Gale watched from the foot of the bed as she attempted to look comfortable._

_She met his eyes and saw that there was hesitation in them._

_"This is why you came, right?" she asked and her voice shook. Katniss looked at him and tears sprung from her eyes. She urged him. "I know you want me."_

_Gale crawled over to her and she felt him over her as she closed her eyes. Letting him kiss her, she tried to stop the tears as she compared his kisses to Peeta's. Peeta's kisses had always filled her and left her wanting. Now as she kissed Gale, she felt empty and tired._

_Katniss realized suddenly that she wanted the chance with Peeta and her child. She had to stop this. She didn't want Gale. She wanted Peeta. Peeta, who smelled sweet and whose kisses made her burn for him._

_She felt nothing kissing Gale and she realized that she wanted to feel. Gale seemed to sense the change in her and suddenly pulled back. He looked at her for a moment reading her eyes. Gale could always read her thoughts. They were two of a kind._

_The two sat next to one another in the bed and she turned to him. "I don't want this. I want Peeta." With that, her face crumbled into a sob._

_"I know," he replied as he patted her shoulder. "It felt wrong. Almost like kissing a log."_

_"Or a pinecone," she said through her tears. The two looked at one another before bursting into laughter. Katniss wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry."_

_"I know."_

_"There's someone else." Katniss understood his hesitation. She knew who it was._

_"It's the hope of someone else," Gale said after a moment._

When Katniss stopped, she sat up stiffly and turned away from him. "Now you know. Does that satisfy you?" Her voice was hurt.

Peeta sat up and put an arm around her. "We have to tell each other everything if we need to get passed this. Not all of it will be pleasant but I want us to be honest. No secrets."

She softened and turned to him. "No secrets," she agreed and he kissed her nose. "Have there been other women?"

"There have been offers," Peeta answered. "But no one wants a man with a prosthetic leg." He smiled wryly. "Or a daughter who is a spitting image of the Mockingjay."

"I want you, "she said and took his hand. Katniss opened his palm and kissed it. "Do you want to know what flashed in my mind while I was with Gale? It was little things about you. Like the way you would put a glass of water on my bedside table in case I had a nightmare. Or how you would always try to teach me to cook. Or how bright your eyes are even in the dark."

"I missed those little things," Peeta said as he pulled her onto his lap. "The bow and arrow by the back door. How you would throw your leg over me while you slept. The way the sun would hit your face through the kitchen window during breakfast."

Katniss put her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry that I didn't come back. I was scared and that's no explanation but it is what it is. I won't run because I love you both like crazy. Took me awhile to figure it out." Her voice sounded childlike.

Peeta's eyes watered. Had it really taken this long for her heart to open? He realized that it had taken much longer than he knew. It was when she had buried her father and lost her mother to her depression. Katniss had locked her heart for years to everyone but Prim. Through the Hunger Games and the rebellion; she had remained strong and steadfast. Peeta didn't believe that she loved him until that very moment in his living room as they waited for their daughter to get out of school.

He could see that she was faltering under the weight of her emotions. "We should get going. Zoe will be off soon."

Katniss wiped her eyes and got off him. "Let's go."

They exited the house hand in hand. Peeta put an arm around her and pulled her in for a kiss while he had a chance. When Zoe was around, they kept their affection to a minimum.

"Get a room!" Johanna yelled from the front porch where she sat with Gale.

"See you later Johanna," Katniss called out to her and she turned her head to see the couple laughing as Johanna's feet rested on Gale's lap. Her eyes met Gale's and he grinned at her before turning back to his girlfriend.

When they reached the school, they waited outside for Zoe. Children rushed out of the barn, some of screaming excitedly for the end of the day. When they spotted Zoe, she was walking slowly and she looked upset. As she spotted them, she pulled her books tighter to her chest.

Katniss and Peeta noticed the lack of excitement in their daughter. "Zoe, what's wrong?" Peeta knelt before her. She didn't respond but Zoe looked across the yard and her parents turned to see a group of boys. As they all disperse, one of the boys with blonde hair smirked at her then walked away. ''Who was that?"

The little girl took his hand shaking it. "Daddy, let's go now," she pleaded and Zoe took her mother's hand. Katniss noticed that her hand was clammy and she felt a shot of rage thinking of the way that the boy looked at her daughter.

Katniss met Peeta's eyes and he shrugged as they walked home. When they finally reached the house, Zoe went upstairs without saying a word to them. Katniss gathered her daughter's bag which she had dropped and put it next to the door.

"What do you think is wrong?" Peeta asked as they looked up the stairs.

"Something to do with that boy," Katniss replied. "She doesn't seem like she wants to talk right now. Let's wait it out and if we don't hear anything by dinner than we talk to her."

Katniss was right as Zoe came to them as they drank cups of coffee at the kitchen an hour later. The couple placed their cups down as the little girl sat at the table. Zoe had her head down for a moment and when she looked up she looked unsure.

"What's a Seam slut?" she asked innocently. Her eyes filled with confusion though she knew that it wasn't a good thing.

Katniss looked at Peeta before taking their daughter's hand. "Where did you hear that?"

Zoe's lower lip quivered. "A boy said you were a Seam slut and that I was probably going to become one too." Tears fell from her face. "What does it mean?"

Katniss swallowed her anger and turned to the little girl. "The Seam is where I grew up. It is on the other side of town and it is not as nice as Victors Village. It is the opposite actually. And the other word is a bad word. You're not old enough to understand it yet. You are not what he says you are."

Zoe began to cry and Katniss pull her daughter onto her lap. "You are Zoe Mellark. You are the only daughter of the Victors of the 74th Hunger Games. That means you are a survivor. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

She wanted to spare Zoe the pain but she knew as she got older that this sort of thing might not lessen. It was her burden to carry due to their fame and their part in the Rebellion. It was a big part of why her resolve to not have children was stronger after the Rebellion. Katniss never wanted her children to be different. Like her and Prim were.

As she rocked Zoe in her arms, she looked up at Peeta. His fists were clenched. But he was squeezing so hard that he was beginning to draw blood. "Peeta."

"Slut." It was happening.

Katniss saw that his eyes were glazed. She held Zoe to her but the little girl squirmed. "Daddy!"

"She's not mine. You're a slut and she is probably Gale's." His voice was quiet but it cut like a knife.

She stood up and put Zoe behind her. "She is yours. Her eyes are blue like yours. LOOK AT HER!" Katniss picked her daughter up so Peeta could look at her. He remained in his chair and as he looked at Zoe she could see the slight clearing in his eyes. His hands remained clenched and she could see that blood had been drawn.

Zoe began crying into her shoulder. She couldn't risk her daughter's safety. "When you're okay again, you know where we'll be."

Katniss carried Zoe and was rushing out with a slam of the door. She carried the little girl across to her home and opened the door. Zoe remained silent, her face buried in her mother's shoulder and her legs wrapped around Katniss's waist.

As they walked in, Gale and Johanna greeted them from the living room. The look on her face was enough to have them rush into the entryway where she stood with her daughter. "What happened?" Gale looked at the little girl who was clinging to her mother.

"He's having a hallucination," Katniss said and her voice was shaking. "I took Zoe. When he comes, make sure that his hands are okay." She went tiredly up the stairs and into her room.

Her daughter was shaking. "Zoe, come lay down with me." The little girl lowered herself from her mother and crawled into the bed followed by her mother.

When they settled, Zoe turned to her mother. "Mommy, what is wrong with Daddy?" Katniss thought for a moment and wonder how she could explain what was happening to Peeta.

"Remember when you said that your Daddy gets really, really sad?" Zoe nodded. "Well the reason why he wants you to stay away is because he doesn't want to hurt you. A long time ago when we were young, your Daddy was poisoned. The doctors were able to take most of it out. Some of it is still in him though and it can make him act that way. That's why he wants you to stay in your room sometimes." She pushed the hair from her daughter's face. "Because he loves you and wants to protect you."

"Will he be okay?" Zoe asked worriedly.

"Yes, it just needs to run its course," she replied. "He loves you so much Zoe. It's just sometimes he is not himself but he always comes back and it's because of you." She caressed Zoe's face. "Sleep for a bit and everything will be alright."

The little girl's eyes closed and Katniss examined her face. She looked so innocent and beautiful. She had made her with Peeta and she suddenly understood the miracle of it all. Briefly her mind wandered to forbidden territory; the thought of a little boy with blond hair and grey eyes with Peeta's smile. It was too early for these kinds of thoughts.

As she fell asleep, Katniss dreamt of Zoe dancing in a field while the little blond boy walked about singing to himself with a voice as sweet as her father's.

++++++

When she opened her eyes, she realized that the room was filled with darkness. A quiet knocking at her window brought her out of her groggy state. It was Peeta. Walking over, she opened it so that he could enter the room.

"Not so loud, she's asleep," she said to him though there was an edge to her voice.

"Gale and Johanna wouldn't let me up but Johanna cleaned my hands." He presented his bandaged hands to her. "I've never been apart from Zoe for even a day. I couldn't be in my house without her there." He went to Zoe and kissed her head. "I can't believe I did that. I just remember being so mad about what that boy said."

Peeta sat on the bed next to Zoe and she went to the opposite side protectively pulling Zoe closer to her side. "You would think that the world has changed after the Rebellion but I guess it's a little slower in District 12. There will always be the Seam kids and there will be the Merchant kids," he said as he looked at Zoe. "What kind of world will we be raising her in?"

"Lay down," Katniss said and he obeyed. They looked at one another over Zoe's head. "You climbed up here? You could have been killed."

"I went up slowly," he replied and then he met her eyes again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I wasn't scared," Katniss said quietly. "I understood how angry you were because I felt the same."

"Zoe must hate me," he said sadly.

"No, she loves you." She took his hand and squeezed it. "She just understands a little bit more of our past."

"I love you both like crazy, you know," he said to her with a yawn. "Stay with us. Stay with me."

"I am." Katniss looked at his face and his eyes as always were bright even in the dark room.

"I want to fall asleep with you and wake up beside you. I don't want your side to be cold anymore." His voice was trembling.

"How will we explain that to Zoe?" She pushed herself up and looked at him.

"Well you can take one of the other rooms," Peeta said after a moment. "I need you to protect Zoe just in case."

"We can't protect her forever," she told him in a somber voice.

"I know but we can keep her innocent for now."

"Okay," she said to him. "But I get my own room."

"Deal."

"Should we shake on it?" Katniss asked with a playful smile as she held her hand out.

"I have a better idea." He went over to her quietly and kneeling on the floor, he kissed her.

"Maybe I'll sneak into your room once in awhile," she replied and pulled his head down for one more kiss.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thank you for all the support and fabulous reviews. Some of you have made some awesome suggestions and I have taken some of them into account. This is a long one. It's a trip because I never intend for them to be so long. I write a lot at work which I shouldn't be doing but I usually get all my work done by mid-morning.

I'm really glad that everyone liked the last chapter and I did wrestle with their whole reconciliation. I think it came out the way I wanted it to, the more I read it.

I'm not a big Gale fan since I've read the books but I don't think he's a horrible character. I always kind of felt like he was left unresolved. 

Personal messages and reviews happily welcomed! Thank you again!

-JLaLa


	8. The Luckiest

All characters do not belong to me.

Next door, there's an old man who lived to his 90's  
And one day, passed away in his sleep  
And his wife, she stayed for a couple of days  
And passed away

I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way  
To tell you that I know we belong  
That I know that I am  
I am, I am the luckiest…

-Ben Folds (The Luckiest)

Italics=Flashback

There is a rated M scene. Be warned.

All I Know

By JLaLa

Chapter Eight: The Luckiest

"So how is the co-habitation going?" Delly asked as she sat at the table tearing pieces of cheese bread and dipping it in hot chocolate.

Peeta grimaced. "That looks disgusting." He sat down with his mug. "It's going good. Katniss has most of her stuff here now."

"Don't tell me that Katniss didn't have any of these weird cravings when she was pregnant," she replied as she ate.

"She liked cheesecake," he said after a moment.

"Well that's not so weird."

"No," he said. "She liked cake with cheese on it. Shredded cheddar to be more specific. Any leftover cake from the bakery went home with me at the end of the day."

"I should try that."

"Anyway, it's been going well," he informed her. "Johanna and Gale are happy to take care of Haymitch's place."

The two of them were waiting for Katniss to return from her hunt. Delly had been craving squirrel and Katniss was happy to oblige her craving. She understood the need having been the only friend of Delly's to have a child.

Peeta thought of how beautiful she had looked that morning. Katniss had managed to sneak into his room for a long morning kiss before Zoe woke up. By the time they had finished, her braid was undone and her face was flushed with pleasure. They had kept it rather innocent though there were sometimes when they both had to literally push one another off the other.

"Peeta." Delly was waving her hand in his face. "You have that look on your face. Like you were thinking of something completely inappropriate." She was grinning at him. "You have the sex face."

"What?" Peeta felt his face reddened.

Since they had been childhood friends, Delly and Peeta's relationship was similar to that of a brother and sister. As they had grown up, they felt no need to filter their conversations with one another and sometimes though not often they would end up talking about something completely inappropriate.

Like this.

"You know," Delly continued as she ate another piece of bread. "The face you have after..."

"We're not doing that," he replied. "It's just that we never really talk about it because the last time we did. Zoe happened."

"That makes sense," Delly said. "So where does she sleep?"

"In her own room." Peeta took a sip of hot chocolate.

"That's good." She took another piece of bread and put it in her mouth. "Because when you sneak in and out of each other's rooms too much, you know what happens…"

"What?" He gave her an amused smile.

"This." Delly circled her stomach with her index finger as she held her bread with the other.

"Whose house were you and Rory sneaking around in?" Peeta asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Mrs. Everdeen's." Delly had a guilty look on her face. "I had sold my place two months before I left and I stayed at her place. Rory came to visit and we didn't want to make a bad impression by staying in the same room."

"So instead you snuck around and got pregnant," he responded and shook his head. "Oh Delly."

"When I left she gave this to me." She took out an envelope and pushed it to him. "It's for Katniss but I wanted you to give it to her."

Peeta held it. "What is it?"

"She's opening a new hospital ward and she wants Katniss there for the ceremony," Delly informed him with serious eyes. "I know that they haven't spoken in awhile."

"Try since after the Rebellion," he said. "Delly, she doesn't know about Zoe."

"How does she not know?"

"Katniss didn't want to tell her,"Peeta replied quietly. "Even when we were looking for Katniss, Haymitch didn't mention Zoe to her. He just asked if she had seen her. Gale and Johanna respected her wishes by not saying anything either. Please tell me that you didn't say anything."

"I didn't and neither did Rory but she has to deal with her mother sooner or later." She opened the envelope and looked at the invitation. "I think that she would want to go to this." Looking at her watch, she got up. "I have to get going. Rory and I are having dinner at Hazelle's but we'll come back for the squirrel meat." She kissed his cheek. "Talk to her about it."

Peeta nodded and Delly let herself out. When he heard the door closed, Peeta looked down at the cream colored invitation for the opening of the Primrose Everdeen Children's Ward.

++++++

Katniss sat up in bed when she saw the door open. Peeta slipped in and quietly closed the door. "Hey."

"Zoe asleep?" she asked and he nodded.

"Two bedtime stories knocked her out," he replied. "How are you feeling?" Katniss scooted over to make room for him on the bed.

"Better," she replied as she had been nursing a cold for the past week. "Hazelle gave me some syrup for it."

"Am I allowed to kiss you?" He grinned at her and Katniss grabbed the fabric of his shirt to pull him in for a kiss. He leaned into her to deepen the kiss.

Finally pulling away, she grinned against his lips. "Yes, you're allowed to," she said breathlessly.

Peeta pulled her in for another kiss. He liked the taste of the spearmint syrup on her lips and he ran his tongue against hers relishing her taste.

When they again pulled away, Katniss was straddling Peeta. "Why do you suppose we always end up like this?" He looked up at her; her hair fell and curtained her beautiful face.

He reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear grinning sheepishly. "Probably our subconscious telling us something," he said.

"What do you think that it's saying?" Katniss ran a hand down his clothed chest and he hissed in pleasure.

Grabbing her arms, he flipped her so that he was on top and she smiled. "You're distracting me Katniss."

"From what?" Katniss looked at him innocently though he saw the spark in her eyes.

Peeta slowly got off her and sat up. She did the same. The two moved up so that they could rest against the headboard.

"Delly dropped this off," he said and pulled the invitation out. Handing it to Katniss, she took the envelope and look at the neat scrawl of her name. She turned it and opened the flap carefully.

Katniss remained silent as she pulled out the invitation and went over it. Her eyes widened when she saw Prim's name and she bit her lip so the tears wouldn't fall. She put the invitation on her side table.

"What do you think?" he asked after she remained silent.

She turned to him. "What do you think?" Her eyes seemed unsure. Peeta remembered the last conversation they had about Katniss's mother.

"I'm not calling," Katniss said angrily. "She doesn't need to know."

"Katniss, you're due in two months," Peeta reasoned with her. Katniss crossed her arms and scowled. "You probably have questions about how to handle a newborn."

She sat on the couch and huffed. "What could she possibly teach me about being a mother, Peeta? She didn't help then and she won't help now. When she went to District Four, she stopped being my mother. Now she's just the woman who gave birth to me."

"Your mom called for months when you got back," he said as he sat next to her. "You weren't well then. So you never answered your phone."

"And you think I'm well now?"

Peeta faltered. Katniss's moods had been up and down since the pregnancy and the closer they came to her giving birth, the more emotional she became. The weight of their baby had stopped her from hunting and she had grown more resentful towards him. Now she rarely went out. "Katniss…"

"I said no," she said and her eyes were blazing. "And that's final."

Slowly she got up to get away from him and he put his head in his hands when he heard the door slam to their room.

"You told me once that she didn't know how to be a mother," he said. "Has that changed now that we have Zoe?"

"I don't know," Katniss said to him. "I still think that she knows nothing about being my mother." Peeta put his arm around her and pulled her to his side. "But what do I know about being a mother myself? I just know I never want Zoe to be as angry with me as I was with her."

"So you're going?"

"More like, we're going?" Katniss looked up at him. "That is if you'd like to come with me. Both you and Zoe." Peeta smiled as her eyes were so like Zoe's when she wanted something. He couldn't resist either one of them.

"Of course," he said and kissed her. "Zoe has never seen the beach."

"Or her grandmother," Katniss added quietly.

"You know," Peeta said and she curled into him. "This will be the first family trip for Zoe."

"And for me,"Katniss replied. "I will call her tomorrow. Will you stay with me when I call her?"

"Of course."

"Will you stay here with me?" She looked up him with a soft smile.

"Always."

++++++

Katniss paced the kitchen floor while Peeta watched her go back and forth. Finally, she stopped and picked up the phone before putting it back down.

"Why am I nervous?" she asked.

They had just come back from dropping Zoe off at school. It had been a trial to get Zoe to let them leave as she was still scared by what had happened to her. Peeta and Katniss had a long talk with Miss Thirby in regards to what happened. She understood that Zoe was an exception when it came to being protected.

It also helped that Johanna had come with them to pick up Zoe one afternoon and had demonstrated a rather impressive ax throwing sequence. Many of the children were impressed with her skills. With the exception of the blond boy who had upset Zoe, he looked very pale after Johanna had finished her sequence and winked at him.

"Do it Katniss," Peeta said to her and handed her the phone. "Because I love you and the pacing is making me crazy."

Katniss took a breath and dialed the number on the invitation. Going to Peeta, she sat on his lap as she waited on the line. After the third ring, she heard the soft greeting and her eyes filled with tears.

"Hello?"

"Mom?" Her voice came out as a croak.

"Katniss, is that you?" Her mom sounded the same. It was if she hadn't lost a daughter and a husband or abandoned her only living relative. Her voice still sounded light and sweet. "Sweetheart?"

"Yes, it's me," Katniss replied as she gripped the phone with one hand and Peeta's hand with the other. "Delly gave me the invitation for the opening ceremony for the ward. I wanted to call to say I'm going."

"You are?" She could hear that thickness of tears in her mother's voice. "I'm so happy Katniss. Peeta will be coming with you, I assume?"

"Yes." Katniss swallowed and looked at Peeta. He nodded understandingly and pulled her closer. "And someone else."

"Is Johanna coming? She is always welcome."

"It's not her," she replied and her voice was shaking. "My daughter will be coming. I mean our daughter. Peeta and my daughter…"

It was silent for long while. Katniss wondered if her mother had hung up on her.

"Say something," Katniss said after a moment.

"I'm not good at saying something," her mother replied.

"Now I know where I get it from," she muttered to herself.

"Did you just have a baby?" her mother asked. "Katniss Everdeen, how could you not tell me?" The guilt ran through her body. She felt like she was caught stealing or something.

"Mom, she's not a baby." She looked at Peeta who was listening closely. "She's four."

"Four."

"Yes." Katniss was ready to hang up.

"Okay, we're going to talk about this when you get here," the older woman said wearily. "I will see you soon with Peeta and…"

"Zoe, that's her name," she informed her proudly.

"Zoe, my granddaughter." There was a pause. "I'm a grandmother."

"You are."

"When did you get old enough to have daughter?"

"I've been old enough for a long time," Katniss said. "I have to go. We'll be there in three days at noon."

"See you then."

Katniss hung up and looked at Peeta. "It's done." She felt like she was either going to burst into tears or fall over from tiredness.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" Peeta asked.

"Just hold me."

So he did.

++++++

"Mommy, are we really going to see my Grandma?" Zoe asked as she got ready.

"Yes, but first you have to get dressed," Katniss said. "So what should we put you in to meet your grandmother?" Zoe looked excited and rushed around the room. Zoe was like Prim in that way. Always enthusiastic. It made Katniss feel like she was there.

Luckily Zoe had Peeta's deposition and had the ability to make friends. So though she was nervous, Katniss knew that her mother would love Zoe. Maybe she would like her more than she liked Katniss at the moment. She tried to shake her cynical thoughts from her head and focused on the little girl.

"I know what I'm going to wear!" Zoe rushed to her closet and pulled a dress out.

Katniss couldn't believe it. She laughed and examined the dress. "Zoe, who picked this dress?"

"I did," she told her mother proudly. "Daddy let me pick it out from a book."

"And he didn't say anything about it?"

"He laughed like you did," Zoe replied and looked up at her. "Why is it so funny?"

"Nothing sweetheart," she said and kissed her forehead. Katniss knelt down in front of her daughter. "In fact, I know exactly how you should wear your hair."

++++++

"Zoe! Katniss!" Peeta called from the bottom of the stairs. "We have a train to catch!"

Peeta put the bags that they had packed for the trip next to the door. He went through his checklist in his mind. Johanna and Gale would be watching over the house while they were gone. Posy would be working the front of the bakery while Vick, Gale's other brother would be the primary baker.

When Peeta looked up at the stairs, he saw Katniss.

Not the grown-up Katniss but Katniss as he had first seen her. In the red dress and two braids instead of one. The little girl who sang the Valley Song.

He was spellbound as she rushed down the stairs. Peeta knelt down and touched her face. When he saw blue eyes instead of grey eyes, he smiled softly.

"You look beautiful, Zoe," he said to her. "Just like your mother."

"Really?" Zoe's face lit up with happiness. She twirled for her dad excitedly.

"The first time I saw your mother, she looked just like this. And I was a goner." He met Katniss's eyes as she descended down the stairs in a simple skirt and blouse. He looked back to Zoe and kissed her forehead. "But I've been a goner for you since the moment you were born."

Zoe threw her arms around his neck and snuggled against him. "I love you Daddy." Katniss watched from the base of the stairs.

When he stood up, Peeta looked at Katniss. "Is this your doing?"

"Guilty." She laughed as he took her hand. It was nice to see her happy.

The walk to the station was not as long so they made it just as the train was boarding. As she was about to stepped into the train, she hesitated. She hadn't seen her mother in years. Would she be different? Katniss knew that she, herself, had changed.

When she forced herself to get onto the train, Katniss took a seat next to Peeta. Zoe sat across and her mother gave her a weak smile. Peeta could tell she was tense so he put an arm around her."

"What's wrong Mommy?"

She looked up at her daughter. "I haven't seen your grandmother in years," she told Zoe. "I'm a little nervous."

Zoe frowned. "Why didn't you speak to her? She's your mommy."

Katniss couldn't explain that she had spent years angry over her mother's abandonment. That when Prim died, she couldn't stand to look at her. She couldn't even look at herself during that time.

Instead she took a deep breath and smiled. "You're right," she told her daughter.

Katniss thought about when Zoe was older. Would she be angry when she finally understood why Katniss had left? Peeta seemed to understand her train of thought.

He took her hand. "We have to teach her about forgiveness," he said. "And the best way is to lead by example."

"I know but it's harder than you think," she replied looking up at him.

"Not so hard when there's love," Peeta said.

Katniss nodded and put her head on his shoulder. She wasn't sure how she felt. There was nothing to do now but to confront it.

She looked over at Zoe whose face was pressed into the window. The little girl was excited about seeing her grandmother and the beaches of District Four.

Katniss felt her eyelids grow heavy. "Sleep." The sound of Peeta's whisper made her smile and she closed her eyes.

++++++

When she opened her eyes, she was greeted by blue. The blue of the ocean at the window, the blue of her daughter's excited eyes, and the concerned blue eyes of Peeta. They were in District Four.

Peeta kissed her softly. "You ready?"

"No," she stated as the train began to slow. Zoe squealed when it made a full stop. "Did she stay up the whole ride?"

"She had a power nap," Peeta told her. "She woke up ten minutes before you did."

"At least one of us is excited," she grumbled as he grabbed their bags from the overhead holder.

The three exited a few minutes later and Katniss made sure that Zoe's hair was fixed. When she turned around, Katniss saw the familiar face of her mother. Her hair was up in a bun but she could see that it had turned lighter with age. Her face was still ivory but a few more lines on her face. She had the elegant look of an aged Merchant woman.

She took Zoe's hand and Peeta took Zoe's other hand as they walked to her mother. Her mother's face remained neutral as they approached but the closer they got, the more the array of emotions seemed to play on her once pretty face.

"Katniss," she said slowly. Her eyes were brimmed with unshed tears. The woman approached her and pulled Katniss slowly to her. "You look so grown up."

Peeta saw that Katniss did not release her daughter's hand even when Mrs. Everdeen hugged her. Zoe looked up at the two curiously.

"Hello mom," Katniss said evenly. She felt like the woman hugging her was a stranger. At the same time, she found it strangely soothing that her mother still had the same smell.

When her mother pulled away, she looked down at Zoe. She knelt so she was eye level. "Hello Zoe. I'm your Grandmother."

"Grandma, you look like Aunt Prim!" Zoe looked at her grandma with a smile. "I like that." She let go of her parents' hands and hugged her happily.

Tears fell from Katniss mother's eyes as she continued to hug her granddaughter. When she pulled away, she went to hugged Peeta.

"You're all grown up Peeta," she said fondly. Mrs. Everdeen had always liked him. While many believed that Katniss would have married Gale, she saw how history seemed to be repeating itself. Funny how things worked out.

He hugged her back. "It's nice to see you, Mrs. Everdeen,"he said to her.

"Suzanne, please," she said. "After all, we're practically family." The woman looked around. "I brought some people who really wanted to see you. Oh wait! There they are."

A woman with dark shoulder length hair approached with a young boy with bronze hair and green eyes.

"Annie?" Katniss called out and went to her. Annie as she could tell was better than before though she made no attempt to hug Katniss. Her eyes were seemed nervous but she gave Katniss a smile.

The boy next to her held out his hand. "Finnick Jr., ma'am." Katniss shook his hand and smiled. "Finn for short." He looked about ten but his height and the way he carried himself made him seem older. He had his father's natural confidence.

Peeta had greeted Annie and Finn. "This is Zoe, our daughter." Zoe was hiding behind Peeta's leg peeking shyly out at the two. "Come say hello."

Zoe came out after a moment and Finn approached her. "Hi Zoe, I'm Finn," he said as he gave her a friendly smile.

She smiled slowly and he took her hand so that they could leave the station.

"I think Zoe has her first crush," Peeta said with a grin to the other women.

"In a few years, you might not find that as amusing," Katniss responded though her lips were curled into smile and the two followed the group out.

++++++

Her mother's home was across from the beach. Annie and Finn's home was only a few minutes away from Mrs. Everdeen's so they could visit whenever they wanted to. The house was two stories with a porch and white washed. When she walked into the house, she saw that it was nicely decorated and there were fresh flowers everywhere. Katniss realized that her mother had built a nice life without her and she felt angry as well as sad.

Going into the living room, she went to the mantle and saw the familiar picture of her father in his mid-twenties. Next to it, a picture of Prim and herself taken when they were still children. It had been taken before her father died.

"These were the few things that I could salvage after District 12 was destroyed," her mother said as she approached her. "I've put you in the room on this floor with Peeta. Zoe has the room next to me."

"I don't sleep in the same room with Peeta," she said.

"I figured you were together," her mother said. "You never had nightmares if he was around so I thought it would be better to put you together. I can have Zoe stay with Peeta instead."

"No, that's fine, I'll stay with Peeta,"Katniss responded. Truthfully she didn't want to stay in the room next to her mother.

"Listen Katniss," her mother began. "I wanted to talk to you about something. Actually a few things—"

"—Suzie, are they here?" A man had come in through the front door and he met her eyes. "Oh hello."

The man who was in his fifties, had dark curly hair and a well-trimmed beard. He was tall with broad shoulders and his smile was friendly though nervous. He was wearing a simple pair of jeans and a linen shirt.

Katniss looked at her mother who was blushing. "Katniss, this is Arthur. He is a doctor at the hospital. He'll be running the Children's Ward."

She looked at him warily and shook his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Katniss."

Peeta and Zoe came into the living room together. She communicated silently with him and pleaded with him to help her.

He understood and went to the man. "Peeta Mellark," he introduced himself and shook the man's hand. "Our daughter, Zoe." Peeta presented her to the man.

"Hi Zoe, my name is Arthur," he said to the little girl. Arthur seemed comfortable with children and Zoe warmed to him immediately.

"I like your beard," she said with a smile.

Katniss didn't understand what the man was doing at her mother's home. She had an inkling that he was more to her mother judging by her mother's blush and the communicative glances they were giving one another.

"Are you staying nearby?" she asked him.

"Actually Katniss," her mother said. "I wanted to tell you. That Arthur lives here. With me." Katniss's mom bit her lip nervously looking at her daughter.

Katniss couldn't seem to grasp the concept. She had always imagined that her mother was living contentedly as a widow. She never imagined that she could have possibly been lonely enough to want for company. It made her angry. If her mother was desperate for company, why did she leave her? Why was she in such a rush to get away from District 12?

It made her realize that her mother wasn't fleeing from District 12, she was fleeing from her. She had run away from her emotionally unstable daughter and left Katniss to pick up the pieces by herself.

"Excuse me," she said and left the room. Katniss easily found her bedroom and entered. She sat on the bed staring out the window. It had become overcast.

When the knock came, she didn't turn to look who had entered. She knew that it was her mother. Her footsteps were light like Prim's had been.

"Katniss."

"Why did you ask me to come?" she asked her mother bitterly. "Were you feeling guilty for leaving me behind?"

"It was important for me to have you here," her mother replied softly and sat next to her on the bed. "I wanted you know that I haven't forgotten Prim."

"But you forgot me." Katniss turned to her mother. "You came here to start a new life, to forget the Rebellion, to forget your unstable daughter."

"That was never why I left Katniss," her mother said with tears in her eyes. "I was afraid of you. You haven't been mine for such a long time. You took care of yourself and you took care of Prim but you barely tolerated me."

"That's not true—"

"It was." The woman looked at her daughter. "When she left us, I didn't want to cope in a house full of memories of Prim. It wasn't the right thing to do, I know."

"You left me!" Katniss said suddenly. "You left me in that home full of memories and expected me to deal with it myself." Tears came to her eyes. "I want to know why I wasn't good enough for you to stay."

"You were good enough. Better than me." She moved closer to Katniss. "It was me. I didn't have anything else to give you."

Katniss jumped up and whipped around to face her.

"Did you know what I did?" she asked angrily. "I left Zoe. She was only two weeks old. I didn't even bother to name her. I abandoned her just like you abandoned me. So obviously you could have given me something. You could have given me assurance that it would be okay to stay."

"Oh God." Her mother put a hand to her mouth. "Haymitch had called me years ago to ask if I had seen you."

"Yes, I ran. You ran," Katniss said. "But you know what? I'm going to be a better mother than you ever were. When Zoe asks me why I left, I will actually still be there to explain it to her!"

"Nothing will ever make up for what I missed." Her mother went to her and looked into her eyes. "But you have to forgive me Katniss." Katniss turned away but her mother took a hold of her shoulders. "You have to forgive me."

"Why?"

"For yourself, for me." Her mother sobbed. "Because we need to move on together."

"And Arthur? Is he helping you move on?" She knew she struck a nerve in her mother. "Was it easy to forget my father too? When you left District 12, you left him too."

"That's not fair, Katniss." Her mother was angry but she didn't care.

"Nothing is fair," she said. "It wasn't fair to have children kill each other in an arena. Or for Prim to get blown to bits. Or for me to deal with my life alone. Or even for me to leave Zoe. But we have our crosses to bear." Katniss opened the door for her mother. "Please leave."

With a defeated look, her mother left her again.

++++++

That night Peeta let her cry in his arms. She had forgotten how nice it was to be next to him in bed. When she was finished, she turned to him.

"If something were to happen to me, would you find someone else?"

Peeta looked at her for a moment and wiped the tear tracks from her face. "No, you're it for me Katniss."

"You wouldn't want to find another mother for Zoe?"

He pulled her closer. "No other woman would ever be good enough for her or for me. Why?"

"My mom has moved on," she said. "I always thought my parents were so in love. I didn't think she would find someone else."

"She was lonely Katniss," he said to her. "Circumstances can change people. I found you again and I won't let you go."

"I would never get over it if something happened to you," she told him. She thought about everything they had been through together. "I hope we're really old when we go because I won't last long without you."

When had she changed? He felt his heart leap with joy at words because he felt the same way. "I love you." Peeta caressed her face.

"I love you too." She cuddled closer to him. "Peeta?"

"Hmm?" He kissed her hair.

"Make love to me?" He met her eyes and Katniss blushed.

Peeta looked at her with concern in his eyes. "Are you sure? I know you're upset with your mom and I don't want to take advantage of you."

"You're not," she replied. "I want this. I want you. I want you to know that this is real and I won't go anywhere." Katniss reached for his hand and put it to her breast. "Please."

Peeta kissed her. He wanted to know that this was real also because at the moment it felt like he was dreaming. She was saying everything he had ever hoped she would say. As he touched her, she ran her hand down his chest and onto his stomach where she lifted the bottom of his shirt to remove it. He complied easily.

He followed by removing the long white shirt that she wore. She was not wearing anything underneath the shirt. It had been a long time since he had seen her naked but he knew where every scar and skin graft was. He knew that even though she always tried to act she knew what she was doing that she was still innocent and insecure. So Peeta knew where to kiss to let her know that she was beautiful to him.

Katniss arched up when he put his mouth to her chest. "I'm sorry," he said in-between kisses. "It's been a very long time and I won't last very long."

"It's okay," she whispered into his ear and Katniss sucked on his neck. "I just want to feel you." She pushed down his bottoms in eagerness and he moaned when he felt her hand touch his bare skin. "I miss this."

"I missed you," he replied and touched her hip. Peeta was rewarded with a moan. He pushed himself up so that his body was halfway on hers.

"Come here then," she said in a whisper. Katniss kissed him as their hips met. Peeta adjusted himself and as he entered her he closed his eyes breathing a sigh of pleasure. "Open your eyes."

Blue met grey. Peeta understood that she wanted to watch his eyes. She wanted to see every feeling that he felt and as they set the rhythm he began to watch her own steely eyes. This time was different from all the other times. He could see every emotion in her eyes, in her body, and in her motions.

The air shifted and he could tell that she was close. Peeta increase his movements to match hers which were getting increasingly faster. He twisted one side of his hips and as he pushed in again, she shattered closing her eyes.

"Open your eyes," he commanded and she did revealing a shining grey. That was all he needed and Peeta let himself go.

He moaned loudly praying that the other occupants were heavy sleepers.

"You didn't forget anything did you?" she whispered as her eyes closed tiredly.

He kissed the side of her face and put his mouth to her ear.

"How could I forget what makes the 'Girl on Fire' burn?"

++++++

The next day was the opening ceremony. Katniss stood there with Peeta as the cameras flash. Her in a simple navy blue dress and Peeta in a suit. Her mother stood a few inches away from her smiling as Arthur spoke to the crowd in a booming voice. She did have to admit that he was an eloquent speaker and like Peeta, he had a charming countenance.

Zoe was in the crowd sitting on the shoulders of Finn. She winked at her daughter. Finn had taken a liking to the little girl for Zoe charmed everyone. Katniss loved that about her.

Katniss could tell that their presence brought an increase of news people excited to see the District 12 lovers. She knew that Effie could not stop herself from gossiping about their hand holding the last time she saw them. She didn't mind as much as long as her sister's ward was getting the attention it could though it inadvertently was helping her mother.

She felt her mask go up again as it did every time she was in a crowd. She was playing the supportive daughter this time instead of the lover. Katniss wondered if she would transition into this role also.

The reporters asked her mother to speak for a bit but she declined too shy to speak to anyone.

So they turned to her. "Miss Everdeen? Any comments?"

Peeta took her hand as if to ask if she wanted him to take over.

She walked a little closer to them still holding his hand. "It is a great honor to share this with my mother. I know that Prim, my sister, would have wanted this very much and I'm happy to see her dream come true. I hope that there will be a continuance of support for this ward which my mother so painstakingly worked for. Thank you."

Katniss drew back before they could ask more questions and she turned to see her mother smiling proudly at her.

It was a start.

++++++

Later that evening, Katniss went to look for Zoe and followed the giggle up the stairs. She made a turn and found herself in her mother's doorway. Zoe and her mom were sitting on the bed. Photos were spread out across the bed. She recognized the photos from an old tin box that her mother had kept. Katniss remembered seeing the box once when they were housed in District 13.

Zoe looked up at her. "Hi Mommy! Is this really you?" Her mother looked at her with no expression. She was waiting for Katniss to make the first move.

Katniss walked tentatively into the room and went over to the bed. It was a picture of her holding Prim. She was about Zoe's age when Prim was born. "Yes, after your Aunt Prim was born. She had the softest hair just like when you were born."

"It looks so light. Just like Daddy's." Zoe moved so that Katniss could sit on the bed. She sat carefully and was aware that this was the closest she had been to her mother in a long time.

Katniss pulled another picture out and her eyes filled with tears. "Zoe, this is your grandfather." The old portrait was taken right before he died. "He had a wonderful voice. When he sang even the birds stopped to listen."

"Wow." Zoe's eyes were wide with admiration. She looked at the photo. "You have the same eyes as he does Mommy."

"Your mommy also has a beautiful voice," Katniss's mom said softly. "She would sing to your Aunt Prim whenever she had nightmares."

"Why didn't you sing to her Grandma?"

Katniss saw her mother's eyes and they were filled with unhappiness. "I was very sad because your grandfather died. I couldn't take care of your mother or your Aunt Prim."

"That's not true," Katniss said looking at her mother. "Your grandmother would always fix my hair in braids and my friend Cinna loved it so much that he asked your grandmother to teach him. She started a trend in the Capitol. She would always make sure that I was eating or give me medicines when I was sick."

"See Grandma, you took care of Mommy," Zoe declared with a smile. "One day, I will be like you and take care of people who are sick."

"I'd like that." Katniss saw her mother smiled proudly. She pulled another photo from the pile. "This is your mommy, Zoe. She had just come out an hour before this picture was taken. Your grandfather saved all his extra money to buy this used camera from the market. He took hundreds of pictures of your mom. That poor camera was barely working by the time she turned one."

Zoe gripped the photo. "Mommy, you're the prettiest baby that I've ever seen."

"You haven't seen many babies Zoe," Katniss replied with a laugh.

"Zoe, I've helped deliver many babies in my life," her mother said. "And I have to agree that I've never seen a baby as pretty as your mother."

Katniss's mother placed a hand over hers and though she was afraid of what it implied she didn't pull away.

++++++

When Peeta came looking for them, he found the three asleep on the bed with photos scattered around them. He went to pick Zoe up but Mrs. Everdeen opened her eyes and put a hand on his.

"She can sleep here," she whispered. "If she sleeps like Katniss does than she will wake up at any movement."

"Is it okay if I take Katniss?" he asked. Peeta felt like he couldn't sleep without her anymore. That morning when he awoke to find her next to him was the happiest that he had ever felt in a long time.

"Yes, she will probably be more comfortable with you," Mrs. Everdeen said to him. She swept the hair from Katniss's forehead and kissed it. "I can't believe my baby had a baby."

"Time passes quickly though sometimes I feel like we just won the Games." Carefully he lifted her off the bed. Peeta could carry her easily as she had lost a lot of muscle during her time away from him. "Goodnight Mrs. Everdeen."

"Suzanne," she corrected with a small smile.

"Goodnight Suzanne," Peeta said as he walked with Katniss in his arms.

"Peeta?"

He turned as he was close to the doorway.

"She seems very happy with you," the woman said. "Goodnight Peeta."

He nodded and walk slowly down the stairs. Going into their room, he placed her gently on the bed. Her eyes fluttered open and she gave him a sleepy smile. "Peeta…"

"Go back to sleep," he said as he removed her shoes. Katniss stretched out onto the bed and closed her eyes.

Finally he settled into bed and pulled a light sheet over them. The night was warm so he opened a window to let some air in. When he went back into the bed, he saw that she was awake and watching him. "I thought you went back to sleep."

She sat up and looked down at him. Katniss straddled Peeta and he could see a smile form on her lips.

"Well I'm definitely awake now."

++++++

Katniss opened her eyes when the sun hit her. Turning to look at Peeta, she saw he was still asleep and he was still shirtless. She went over to him and kissed his bare shoulder.

He groaned and opened one eye. "Good morning," he said in raspy voice.

"Morning," she replied and kissed him. "I was going to get some coffee. Do you want some?"

Peeta nodded and she got up throwing a sweater before walking into the kitchen. She was surprised to see that Arthur was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee. He looked tired and was still in his scrubs. When he saw her, he gave her a kindly smile. "Good morning Katniss."

"Good morning," she replied stiffly. "Did you just get here?"

"Yes." He took a sip before continuing. "I just worked a ten hour shift. Well worth it though. The ward is taking shape nicely." Arthur looked up at her. "Have a seat." Katniss sat across from him.

"How did you meet my mom?" she asked. Katniss was curious to see how she had met the man. He was at her mom's home infrequently but he seemed to get along with Peeta and Zoe when he was there.

"We were put on the same case a year ago. She was taking care of a little girl with a rare blood disorder. I have been specializing in blood disorders for ten years."

"Why blood disorders?"

"My daughter had hemophilia," he said quietly.

"You have a daughter?" She saw his eyes flashed. He shook his head.

"She died along with my wife during the Rebellion in District Eight. Peacekeepers burned down our clinic with them in it," he told her and pulled his wallet out. Taking a photo out, he handed Katniss a picture of a pretty red haired woman and a little girl with curly hair like his.

Katniss wondered why he was sharing so much with her. She then realized that he wanted her to understand what had drawn him to her mother. They had both lost their families during the Rebellion.

"I'm sorry," she said to him. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I'm not trying to be your father, Katniss," he told her and his eyes were serious. "I love your mother but she always seemed to have a wall up. You are the only person who she truly loves that's still alive. I don't want you to take it for granted. You're a mother now so you understand that the love for your child goes beyond anything. She never forgot about you."

"She didn't?"

"Every time your birthday came around, I watched her try to get the courage up to call you." Arthur looked at her sadly. "She never did."

"What changed her mind?"

"She dreamt of you during the Games when she almost lost you," he said. "And it made her think that she was wasting this time being afraid that you would reject her. She just wanted to get the chance to make up with you and be your mother. Things change all the time Katniss. Maybe this time it might be different for you."

Katniss thought about her own changes in her life. She never meant to fall in love with Zoe but she did and it had been instantaneous. She never meant to fall back in love with Peeta but she did that too.

Arthur was right, things change all the time.

"I should bring this to Peeta," she said and got up. "Thank you for taking care of my mother."

"She takes care of me Sweetheart," he replied with a gentle smile and though it had annoyed her when Haymitch said it she didn't mind when Arthur said it.

++++++

"Now you be a good girl," Katniss's mother said as she hugged Zoe. "Work very hard at school and don't let anyone tease you."

"I love you," Zoe said to her. "Will you come visit me?"

"Of course." She kissed her forehead. "Watch over your mommy and daddy."

The woman went over to Peeta and pulled him in for a hug. "Take care of my girls."

"Of course Suzanne," he replied. "Take care of yourself. Say goodbye to Arthur for us."

"He really wanted to come with me," she said. "But patients wait for no one."

When Katniss and her mother came face to face, her mother brought her hands to Katniss's face before pulling her in for a hug. "Thank you for coming. It meant a lot to me."

"Of course,"Katniss said. "Are you really going to come see us?"

Her mother nodded and Katniss hoped that she wasn't lying.

As the whistle of the train sounded, they got ready to depart waving to her mother. Peeta took her hand and they walked to the train. Katniss felt something turn her around to watch her mother leave.

Suddenly she found herself rushing to catch her. "Mom!" Her mother turned and Katniss found herself in her arms. Tears fell from her eyes. "I wanted to tell you that I love you. I'll see you soon?"

Her mother nodded, speechless at Katniss's display. She waved before rejoining Peeta and Zoe.

As they sat on the train a few minutes later, Peeta and Katniss looked over at a sleeping Zoe before turning to each other.

"That was unexpected," Peeta said referring to what happened with her mother.

Katniss looked at him with a small smile on her face. "Things change."

++++++

Three weeks later, Katniss looked at a picture of a newborn Zoe. She would be turning five in a week.

As she took a sip of her spearmint tea, she realized something else. The taste brought her back to the cold that she had been nursing prior to her trip, and the spearmint syrup that Hazelle had given.

And how Hazelle had warned that it could cause other medicines to become inactive.

Including a certain Capitol administered shot.

She looked at her stomach.

Oh God.

Was she pregnant?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

First off, thank you for all the compliments and reviews. I appreciate it and hope that you continue to review.

For some of you who thought the story was over, I apologize! I tried to reply to anyone who might have thought that.

Someone asked how many chapters this story would be. The truth is, I don't really know. Though I already have the epilogue planned in my head. I also don't think it will be over 20 chapters.

I know that no one knows the name of Mrs. Everdeen so I just named her after the author of the actual books. Some of you might already know who I named Arthur after though he does not look like the character. I kind of imagined an older Seth Rogan when I think of him.

I also don't really know anything about District Four except that it's the fishing location so I always imagine it like Monterey or Martha's Vineyard.

I'm going to be having a staycation in the middle of May so hopefully I can get more writing done.

Anyone want to make a guess on the last question of the chapter?

Once again, reviews mean love and personal messages are always welcome.

Thank you!

-JLaLa


	9. This We Know For Sure

All characters except for Zoe do not belong to me.

Sunny days, everybody loves them  
Tell me  
Can you stand the rain  
Storms will come  
This we know for sure  
Can you stand the rain…

-Boyz II Men/New Edition (Can You Stand the Rain)

All I Know

By JLaLa

Chapter Nine: This We Know For Sure

This couldn't be happening.

Not again.

But it was.

There was a possible chance that she was pregnant. Her cycle was erratic so she never noticed if she was late or not. Damn that cold syrup.

Then Katniss's eyes fell on Zoe's photo. She sat back down and traced her finger on Zoe's little face. Katniss had missed her chance with Zoe. It could be different this time. She thought of how Zoe had the softest hair she had ever felt when she was a baby. And how she smelled like lavender even now.

Her mind drifted back to the dream of her children dancing in the field. Zoe's braid swinging at she danced and the little blond haired boy with the beautiful, booming voice that made the birds listen in rapture.

It could come true.

"Katniss!" Peeta had returned home with Zoe in tow. When she went into the entryway, Katniss noticed the serious look on Peeta's face. Then she saw Zoe with a scowl on her tiny face. "What happened?"

"Zoe got in a fight," he told her. "She pushed another girl in her class."

Katniss looked at Zoe. "Why?"

"She said the mean word to me," Zoe told her. She looked at Peeta. "But Daddy said that I shouldn't have pushed her. Well I don't like mean words so I made her quiet."

"It's not her fault, Peeta." Katniss looked at him and saw his eyes darken.

"Zoe," Peeta said evenly. "Go to your room."

Zoe's face was filled with fury and Peeta recognized that face. He had seen it many times when Katniss was angry at him. The little girl threw her bag on the floor and stomped up the stairs. Then with a slam of the door, she was in her room.

Peeta turned to Katniss. "You can't defend her all the time. She did something wrong."

"That little girl called her a bad word. What should she have done? Let the girl call her a Seam slut while she sat there doing nothing to defend herself? " She put her hands on her hips. "No, she wouldn't. She is my daughter."

"She is OUR daughter and Zoe can't go around beating people up every time somebody says something about us or her!" They were eye to eye with both not willing to back down. "I don't know why I'm bothering to talk to you because you won't listen anyway. Both of you are completely stubborn."

"I don't have to be here."

"Go. That's what your good for," Peeta said suddenly and he knew that he crossed the line.

Katniss's face drained of color and she hesitated before walking out. Standing outside on the porch, she looked across to Haymitch's home and her eyes drifted to the window that she had seen Haymitch from the night she left.

"You know it's going to be hard, right?"

His words from her dream came back to haunt her. He was right. She sighed to herself and looked down at her stomach. None of this was going to be easy.

She opened the door and walked back into the house. She found Peeta sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Katniss knelt before him and took his wrists. His head shot up and she could see the fear in his eyes.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you," he said to her quietly.

"You had every right too." She smiled softly. "I'm not good at this. I don't like the thought of Zoe being mad at me. I don't like you being mad at me either."

"She has never acted like this," he told her. "This bullying is getting out of hand too. Miss Thirby can't watch her all the time."

"And she is too young to understand why she is being called a slut. "

Katniss wondered how much her children would have to endure just because she was born in the Seam. She was never ashamed of being born there and her father had worked hard to provide for them until he died. Her mother had left her own life, her family, her friends because she had loved Katniss's father. They had been a happy family.

She joined Peeta on the couch and they both sat back. He pulled her closer to him. They were okay again. This is what it meant to be a family. They would go through these problems but at the end they would take care of each other.

Katniss kissed him. "Let me speak to Zoe. I think the tantrum is most likely from being part Everdeen."

Peeta nodded. "It's kind of nice."

"What?" She stood up and turned to him.

"Just us. The two of us raising our daughter."

Katniss squeezed his hand before going upstairs.

When she reached the door, Katniss knocked softly and frowned when she got no answered. She entered the room and was surprised to find Zoe missing. The room was neat as if she hadn't been there at all.

"Zoe?" Katniss heard a whimper and she followed the noise to the closet next to Zoe's tent.

Katniss opened the closet door and found Zoe hiding in the farthest back part of it. She smiled thinking that she used to do the same thing. Whenever she missed her father while he was in the mines, she would burrow herself in her parents' closet. She had loved the smell of the father's coats. They smelled like the woods.

Approaching her daughter, she walked to the space next to Zoe and sat down. The little girl looked at her tearfully waiting for punishment and held on to her stuffed duck.

"Zoe, what you did was wrong," she said after a moment. Her daughter seemed shocked at what she had said. "Your dad and I understand that it's difficult to ignore them but you are better than that."

"I was so mad Mommy," Zoe said and she began to cry. Pulling her legs to her chest, she hugged her arms and wiped her eyes on her knees. "Why are the other kids being so mean to me?"

Her heart ached for her daughter. She couldn't tell her that it would stop. Katniss knew that the stigma of her Seam background and the fact that she had been with Peeta, a merchant's son had made Zoe an easy target.

"This has nothing to do with you," she replied. "When you're old enough to understand, we will explain it to you." Katniss put an arm around her daughter's shoulders. "For now, I know it won't help but you have to not listen to what people say. When you have questions, come to us."

"When will I be old enough to understand why I'm different?" She wasn't different however. Her parents were.

Anyone could live to be a hundred and still not be able to comprehend the logic of putting children in an arena to kill each other. Or allow Districts to flourish or flounder based on who won. She couldn't understand herself. One day, she hoped that she would be able to explain her own feelings to Zoe.

"Your daddy and I will know when it's the right time," she replied. "I think that right now, you should apologize to him."

Katniss stood up and held her out hand for Zoe who took it. Zoe had her head down in shame as they made their way out of her bedroom and down the stairs. Peeta was sketching when they entered. When he saw the two, he put down his pad on the coffee table. Katniss gave her daughter an encouraging pat before Zoe went to Peeta.

Zoe's lip quivered. "I'm sorry I got mad," Zoe said quietly. Her eyes filled with tears. "Please don't hate me Daddy."

Peeta without hesitation pulled her into a hug. "I could never hate you. Not in a million years."

"Really?" Zoe pulled away and wiped her eyes.

He presented his pad to her. "In fact since your birthday is coming up, it made me think of how you looked when you were a baby."

Katniss looked at the sketch. Her subconscious had remembered Zoe during her dream. Her mind however could not pull up a memory of baby Zoe at all. All she could remember was the heavy bundle that she had held in her arms during moments when Peeta couldn't hold her. The soft hair and the scent of lavender were also other things she could remember though her face was non-existent in her mind.

She realized that if she was indeed pregnant than she would have to learn to take care of newborn. This should've been a no-brainer if she had stayed but Katniss had ruined her chances to grow into a mother with Zoe. It hurt to think about it.

"Katniss?"

She turned to see Peeta and Zoe looking at her concerned.

"How long was I gone?"

"Several minutes," Peeta told her.

"Oh." It wasn't uncommon for her to blank out. It was an after effect of war. While Peeta would have twisted flashbacks, there were moments where she would follow a thought in her mind for so long that she would be gone for several minutes. This would be a problem if she was pregnant.

Katniss looked at the sketch. "Very pretty. Even nicer than my picture."

Peeta turned to his daughter. "Why don't you go and wash up so we can have dinner?" She nodded and they could hear her rushing up the stairs.

When she went upstairs, Peeta turned to her. "Where were you?"

"I couldn't remember her face," she replied quietly. "I tried to and I couldn't."

Peeta kissed the side of her head. "I can tell you."

She nodded and kissed the palm of his hand. "Tell me tonight before we go to bed."

"You're sneaking in tonight?" He grinned at her.

"Someone has to keep my side warm."

++++++

It seemed like Zoe had forgotten everything that they had talked about the next day. She refused to get out of bed and Peeta had literally picked her up to bring her to the bathroom. Now she was refusing to get into the sweater that Katniss was pulling over her head.

Zoe could dress herself but today she wasn't budging and Katniss was not used to this Zoe. She was not used to a sullen, stubborn little girl and in that moment she had realized how much Zoe had inherited from her.

"Zoe, please." She pulled Zoe's head through the opening of the sweater. "Please help me out." The little girl crossed her arms and remained still.

Katniss turned her around and began to brush her hair. Suddenly Zoe yelped and turned around angrily.

"Mommy that hurt!" She stomped her foot. "I don't want to wear a braid!"

Katniss put the brush down. "Why?"

"Because then they'll tease me again because I look like you!" Zoe said suddenly. "They'll yank my braid and pretend to cut my hair!"

Peeta came in and saw Katniss's stricken face. "Zoe. Let's go." His voice was stern and Zoe turned to look at him before walking past her father and stomping down the stairs. He turned to look at Katniss and could see that she was hurt.

He kissed her forehead. "We'll talk when I get home."

++++++

When Peeta entered the house, he noticed that it was quiet. Nothing looked unmoved.

"Katniss," he called out. Nothing.

He started to panic as he looked through the rooms on the lower level. Peeta had a rather long talk with Zoe in regards to her attitude. She gave him a glare before sitting at her desk and refused to say goodbye to him. Miss Thirby gave him a sympathetic smile.

Did she leave? Peeta felt that trickle of fear go through him. When he was upstairs, he went into his room. It was empty. "Katniss."

"In here."

He followed the voice to the closet near the door and found her sitting in the back of the closet. Her knees were drawn to her chest and she looked like she had been crying. When their eyes met, she gave him a smile. "Your smell is in here."

"Baby," he said as he joined her on the closet floor. "She's a little girl who wants everyone to like her." Peeta pulled her to his side. "She's not like her mother who has no problem with people not talking to her."

"I am not that anti-social." Katniss sniffed. "Zoe hates me."

"She doesn't hate you," he replied with an easy smile. "This is just a part of parenthood. Did you always think that you would get along with her?"

"No, I just thought that she would wait until she was a teenager before she went hormonal and bitchy." She laughed quietly and put her head on his shoulder. "I guess since she's my daughter the moody gene has kicked in quicker."

"You're not just moody," he told her. "You care about people, you're brave, and you are strong."

"I feel like a horrible mom," Katniss said and she began to cry.

Peeta looked at her face in the dark closet. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness and Peeta could see the outline of her face. There was something different in her eyes when she turned to him. "Katniss, what's wrong?"

"I think I'm pregnant."

"How?"

"Three weeks ago, my mom's house," she reminded him. Katniss played with her braid. "The syrup that Hazelle gave me for my cold might have made my shot inactive." She looked at him distraught. "What should we do?"

"Zoe's birthday in two days," he said. "Maybe we can ask your mom to bring a test?"

"No," Katniss said. "I can't ask her. This is too personal."

"Katniss?"

"Yeah?"

Peeta turned to her. "If you are, we don't have to have it." He looked at her sadly. "Zoe was unplanned and I don't want you feel like you have to do this again."

"You think I'm going to leave again, don't you?" she said in a hurt voice. "How are we supposed to be together and raise Zoe if you can't trust me?"

"I trust you," Peeta said. "But I'm afraid too. I don't want to lose you again."

"What can I do to prove to you that I'm here for you and Zoe?"

Peeta looked into her pained grey eyes. "I don't know."

++++++

When the afternoon came, they pulled themselves out of Peeta's closet to pick up Zoe. She realized that with her mother and Arthur arriving soon she would need to have extra game for them to eat. So she changed into her cargo pants and olive shirt then went into her room to grab her father's coat.

Going downstairs to meet Peeta, she picked up her bow and arrows which were by the front door before exiting the house. They walked together in silence. Katniss wondered what she would do if she was pregnant. She wasn't quite sure but Peeta had given her the option which she thanked him for.

As they approached the school, he turned to look at her outfit. "I love when you wear your hunting clothes. Very sexy."

She laughed. "You have very low standards then." Katniss couldn't wait to go hunting as she was in desperate need for some time to herself.

Katniss swung her arrow sack across her shoulder and held the bow in her hand. If she hadn't been holding Peeta's hand as they approached the school, she might have cut a more menacing figure.

Zoe approached them slowly. She looked ashamed and the couple knew that her tantrum had passed.

"Mommy, I'm sorry I yelled," she said quietly. "Miss Thirby wants to speak to you."

Katniss was still hurt by her daughter's words from that morning but she patted her shoulder consolingly before they entered the classroom.

Once again, Miss Thirby was waiting at her desk while they took their seats. It seemed that they were always there as it was her third time and Peeta's fourth time to sit in the worn seats. She gave them a small smile for she was aware of their situation and she believed that Zoe was in the end, a very good kid.

"I know that you both are capable parents," she began. "I am concerned however that Zoe's behavior has not improved which means that her issues have worsened. I think that she may need to talk to someone."

"Like a psychiatrist?" Peeta asked.

"More like a counselor," she informed them kindly. "I adore Zoe but she needs to address whatever is going on. All of you need to as a family."

Katniss nodded and she didn't know if it was hormones but her eyes watered. She had caused this. It was the first time that she had regretted returning. Peeta took her hand as if he could read what she was thinking.

The woman stood up and handed Peeta a piece of paper. "This is the name and number of a counselor that I highly recommend. Maybe she should speak to him once a week for now."

"Thank you," Peeta said quietly as he seemed shocked. For them, this brought memories of hi-jackings, medications, death, lost loved ones. The after-effects of war were still heavy in their minds. How had they allowed all of this to transfer onto their daughter?

"Turning five is a big deal for a child," Miss Thirby continued. "Now more than ever Zoe will react to changes. She is at a point where being different is scary."

"We will contact the counselor. Thank you for your help," Peeta said to her though it seemed like he felt like the doing the opposite. They stood up and he looked tired. Katniss was worried that he had become overwhelmed by everything going on. It could eventually turn into a flashback.

She felt now, in her hunting gear with her bow at her feet, her maternal instincts kick in. The need to take care of her family and the protectiveness that she had once felt for Prim had spilled over to Zoe and Peeta.

They thanked the teacher again before they exited to find Zoe. Their daughter was surrounded by a group of little boys and girls. When she saw them, she smiled and came over with her entourage in tow.

"What's going on Zoe?" Peeta asked he scooped her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck. Katniss saw that some of the girls were looking at her in awe while the boys were eyeing her weaponry curiously.

She leaned towards Katniss so that she could hear also. "They want to see Mommy shoot an arrow," she said and looked at Katniss. "Can you Mommy?"

Katniss didn't reply but simply grabbed an arrow from behind her and fixed it on the bow. Pulling back, she spotted her target a few feet away. The children gasped when the tree that she had aimed for was suddenly impaled with the arrow. The familiar looking blond boy who was standing close to it dropped the apple that he was eating on the ground.

"Let's go," she said and marched to the tree along with Peeta and Zoe. She yanked the arrow roughly from the tree and picked up the apple. She went to the boy and she was sure that he was the same boy who had called her daughter a Seam slut.

"It's bad to waste food." She handed the apple to him.

As they walked away, Peeta went to her still holding Zoe in his arms.

"See what I mean?" he said quietly in her ear. His breath against her skin made Katniss tingle. "Very sexy."

++++++

When Katniss's mother and Arthur arrived, Peeta could tell that both Katniss and her mother were nervous. Suzanne had not been back since the bombing of District 12 and she would be finding a lot of the place changed. Katniss was afraid that it might be too much for her mother.

Her fears were assuaged when they reached the train station and Zoe ran into her Grandma's arms.

"Grandma!" Suzanne lifted the small girl and kissed her cheeks. "I missed you!"

"My Zoe!" Katniss watched her mother hug Zoe excitedly. "You're already looking so grown up!" It was nice to see her mother so happy.

"You've gotten taller," Arthur added and lifted the little girl easily into his arms.

Katniss and Peeta hung back before they went to greet the couple. Peeta shook Arthur's hand and hugged Suzanne.

When Arthur came to her, he patted her shoulder and gave her a gentle smile. "It's nice to see you again." He looked around. "So this is District 12."

"Well it's just the train station," she replied with an easy smile.

Katniss came to face her mother. "Katniss."

She pulled her mother into a hug. "Nice to see you Mom." Their relationship was less strained but Katniss still felt herself still feeling a little unsure. When she pulled back, her mother looked into her eyes.

"There's something different about you," she remarked as they walked out of the station.

Katniss looked over at Peeta but he was in conversation with Arthur about the rebuilding of the village. "What's been going on with you?" Her mother continued to look at her with suspicious eyes.

"Nothing," she assured her. If Prim were there, she would be glaring at Katniss for lying to their mother. She thought that maybe she should tell her mother about the possible pregnancy.

As they neared Victors Village, she turned to her. "Mom?"

"Yes, dear?" her mother responded as they walked into Victors Village.

"I have to tell you something." The older woman stopped in her tracks and turned to Katniss.

The other three had already entered the house so they were alone. "I think I might be pregnant." She said it quickly thinking that it might be easier to say it that way.

"You're pregnant?" They turned to see Johanna who had interrupted their conversation and Gale standing right behind them. Johanna grinned. "Hi Mrs. Everdeen."

"You okay there Catnip?" Gale asked as he looked at Katniss whose face had drained of color. He hugged Mrs. Everdeen quickly before checking on Katniss. "Something you want to tell us?"

"I wanted to tell my mother," she told them with a glare.

"Well you shouldn't be talking out in the open like this," Johanna retorted.

"Jo, no one ever comes here," Katniss said.

"That's not true because we just passed by and heard your so called private conversation."

Johanna put her hands on her hips with a smirk and Katniss practically growled at her. Gale understood this as a sisterly dynamic between the two as he himself felt his own protectiveness towards Katniss. He could tell that she was stressing out but his girlfriend had a way of pissing his childhood friend off.

"Ladies, let's calm down," Mrs. Everdeen interjected and then turned to her daughter. "Did you take a test?"

"I don't have one," Katniss said quietly. She felt embarrassed talking about this in front of Johanna and Gale. Her mother however had switched into her healer role and was trying to assess her patient.

"Are you late?"

"Not sure." Her face grew warm. "It's always been irregular."

"Why do you think you're pregnant?"

"I had a cold before we left for your place," she informed her. "Hazelle gave me some syrup for my cold and she told me that the shot that I get to prevent this could become inactive."

"Okay," her mother said. "We will get a test and then we'll go from there."

"I have an extra one," Johanna supplied and caught her boyfriend's gaze. "Calm down. It's just in case."

Katniss nodded and she was grateful for her mom's calm nature when it came to this. She suddenly pulled her into an embrace. She felt her mother caressed her hair. It was as if she was having a nightmare and needed her mommy to take care of her like when she was a child.

"So we will have you take the test after dinner, okay?" Her mother instructed. "Come on, your daughter wanted to show me her room."

Katniss grinned. "She did?"

"Yes." Mrs. Everdeen took her hand. "Spent half an hour on the phone with me last night so she could tell me all about it." The four walked to the porch of the house.

"Interesting kid you have there," Gale remarked teasingly as he opened the door for the women.

"Thanks, I like that about her,"Katniss told him before entering the house.

++++++

Peeta led Katniss to their room. Zoe had tired herself out in anticipation of her birthday and had been asleep for hours. During dinner, he had watched Katniss closely and she seemed distracted stealing glances at Johanna. Her mother, in true fashion, urged her to eat.

It was different from her previous eating habits over the last few weeks when she was inhaling her food.

He touched her cheek. "What's going on?"

"I told my mom." She looked up at him and then put her head on his chest. Peeta pulled her closer when he realized what she meant.

"What did she say?"

The door opened revealing Johanna holding a box. "I'm here." She thrust the box at Katniss who went green. "Go on."

Another knock sounded and Suzanne entered quietly. "I just wanted to check on you. If you want me to go, I can."

"You can stay," Katniss said quietly. "For moral support." She looked overwhelmed as Johanna buzzed around her and her mother sat on the bed.

Peeta looked over at her and took her hand. She faced him and he lifted her chin. "Remember what I said." He wanted her to know that they had options. He hoped that none of her options were her leaving however.

Katniss nodded and entered the bathroom. Peeta sat on the bed along with Suzanne. Johanna sat on the floor by the bathroom twisting her chin length hair. After a few minutes, Katniss emerged and stood at the doorway. They looked expectantly at her.

"We have to wait five minutes." She went to the bed sitting next to Peeta who took her hand. Kissing it, he placed their joined hands between their bodies as they waited.

Katniss's mother stood up to give them room and because she herself was nervous for the results.

"Where's Arthur?" she asked her.

"He knew that you needed to have some privacy plus he fell right to sleep once he landed on the bed," Suzanne replied.

Then she turned to Johanna. "Gale?"

"He said it was none of his business," Johanna replied. "And none of mine. But when do I ever listen to him?"

Katniss gave her a weak smile and the room went quiet.

These were the longest five minutes of his life. He wondered how Katniss had been able to wait these five minutes alone before. He wondered what had been going through her mind then and what was going through her mind now. Did she want another baby? Did he even want to have another child? Then there was the thought that he tried to bury in his mind. The thought that if she was, she might leave again.

"It's time," Johanna announced.

Katniss and Peeta stood up. Her eyes were scared when she turned to him. "Stay with me. Whatever happens?"

He nodded and kissed her lips. "Of course. Remember, you're it for me." Peeta turned to Johanna. "You read it. We'll be here."

Johanna went to the bathroom. Suzanne rubbed her daughter's back. Johanna came back in with the test in her hand and she looked at the box. Then her eyes turned to the test and her face fell into a frown. "It's negative. I'm sorry Katniss."

Peeta felt numb and he was faintly aware of Johanna patting his shoulder. He didn't think that he would feel so empty after finding out.

Katniss took his hand and he turned to her. She was nodding frantically trying to assure them. "It's okay." Her voice was high. "It's really for the best." Katniss didn't realize that her eyes were filling up rapidly until she began to cry. She put a hand to her abdomen and tried to swallow her tears.

Her mother gathered her in her arms. "Sweetheart," she cooed as she rubbed her back. "I'm so sorry. You have plenty of time to have a lot of beautiful babies." Suzanne took his hand as he stood numbly next to Katniss. "We'll let you have some time alone."

"Yeah, I'll just get rid of this," Johanna said as she stuffed the test into the box. She looked at Peeta sadly and squeezed Katniss's hand. "Sorry guys." Then she joined Suzanne at the door before closing it behind them.

When they were alone, Peeta looked at Katniss's tear streaked face. "Are you okay?"

"Yes…no…" Katniss sniffed. "I don't know why I should be upset. It's not like it couldn't happen again. I just didn't realize that I would care so much." Peeta kissed her forehead.

He pulled her close so that their bodies melded into one another. He could feel her heartbeat against his chest mimicking his own. "Maybe you wanted it more than you knew." He felt a sharp pain within himself. "We have plenty of time."

"I dreamt of him, you know?" She had a faraway smile. "He had my eyes and your blond hair. His voice was beautiful and I knew that in time he would sound exactly like my father."

"One day he will be here," Peeta assured. It was a promise for things to come and he felt reassured of the hope that he would see the boy in her dreams.

Taking her hand, he led her across the hall. Quietly he opened the door to Zoe's room so they could enter. "For now, we have her." He closed the door behind them. "And if it takes another five years to get a kid as wonderful as Zoe is than we will wait."

"It's after midnight," Katniss said as she looked at the little girl in the darkness of the room. The outside moon gave them a little light. She approached her daughter and kissed her forehead. "My Zoe. My baby is five." Zoe sighed in her sleep. "Happy Birthday."

++++++

The next evening after dinner, Peeta lit the candles to Zoe's cake. The little girl who wore a blue dress given by her Aunt Delly bounced excitedly in her chair. It was a small group of people who gathered to celebrate the little girl's birthday: Suzanne, Arthur, Johanna, Gale and the rest of the Hawthornes , which now included Delly.

"Make a wish," Katniss whispered into her daughter's ear.

The little girl smiled at her mother and blew out the candles.

Katniss met Peeta's eyes from across the room. He saw the hope in them. The hope of many more birthdays of Zoe's in their home. The hope of birthdays for other children. The hope of growing old and celebrating their own.

"You going to tell us what you wished for?" Peeta asked as he went to cut the cake with his daughter.

Zoe shook her head. "I will tell you when it comes true."

As Katniss began to serve the others, Zoe cut a large piece with his help. "Don't forget Grandpa Haymitch and Aunt Prim."

Peeta's eyes watered and he nodded. Zoe took the plate with the piece of cake and walked over to the pictures at the mantle. Katniss helped her place the piece inbetween the pictures of Haymitch and Prim. She put her fingers to her lips and the touched them against Prim's photo then she repeated the action for Haymitch's photo.

She missed them both.

She looked down at Zoe who was beaming and thought that she would get to see her grow up.

This is what they fought for.

++++++

"Mommy?"

Katniss looked over to see Peeta and Zoe at the doorway. Zoe was in her pajamas as was Peeta. She had been sitting in their bed waiting for him. The party had ended hours ago and the house was quiet again. Her mother and Arthur were staying with Delly and Rory since the expecting woman wanted to get an exam from Suzanne. Rory would be bringing them to the station. They had said their goodbyes that night and her mother promised to call when they returned to District Four.

"We have a tradition that Zoe and I do for her birthday. We thought that you'd like to join us," Peeta said.

Katniss nodded and threw the blanket off her. The trio went downstairs where Peeta had set up the fireplace. Zoe led her mother to the floor next to the it. A blanket had been set up along with a huge stack of pillows.

"Sit Mommy," Zoe said and they settled down together. Peeta came back with cups of hot chocolate for both of them.

After handing them their cups, he went to get his own along with a large muffin with one candle.

"A muffin?" Katniss smiled and took a sip of the hot chocolate.

"When Zoe was turning two, the train carrying flour for the bakery broke down," Peeta said as he sat down next to her. "I had to use what I had for the bakery so I couldn't make her a cake. So instead I made a muffin for her. She loved it and we've been doing this ever since."

Peeta took the candle from the muffin and held it to the fire. When it was lit, he placed it back on the muffin. "Make a wish," he told his daughter.

Zoe looked at both of them with a smile before blowing it out. They clapped softly not wanting to ruin the quiet moment.

"What did you wish for?" Katniss asked her again.

"I won't tell," Zoe teased.

"Thank you for sharing this with me," she said to them both. Zoe grinned and went to sit on Peeta's lap.

"We're a family," Peeta replied as he looked into her eyes. The fire made her grey eyes look smoky and the light reflected off her hair. She was lovely.

Zoe picked up the muffin and ripped a piece off to give to her mother. Katniss took it and held it for a moment.

Peeta watched as she suddenly brought the piece to the fire and let it turn golden.

Zoe watched in awe and Katniss turned to her. "I promise to be here for every birthday from now on. I will always take care of you and protect you. I will never leave you. Most of all, I will love you forever." Her eyes briefly met Peeta's as she said the last sentence.

Katniss offered the piece to Zoe and she ate it happily. "My turn!" Katniss laughed at her daughter's excitement. Peeta held her hand as she toasted her muffin piece.

Zoe put her index finger to her chin to think. "I will always try hard to be a good daughter. I will take care of you and will make you proud of me." As she tried to give her mom her piece, Peeta whispered in her ear. "Oh yeah! We will love you."

Katniss was laughing as she ate the piece from her daughter's small fingers. Looking at Peeta, she saw that he had tears in his eyes but he was grinning from ear to ear.

Zoe laid back against the pillow and within seconds was fast asleep.

"She always does that every year," Peeta said. "Muffin then sleeping." He put a blanket over her. "That was really nice what you did."

Katniss smiled and look down at Zoe. "I wanted to give her something she would remember forever."

"You forgot one thing."

"What?"

"This." His lips met hers in a searing kiss. For a moment, she forgot that they were sitting in front of a fire with their daughter sleeping beside them in a sugar-induced coma. It was just them.

"I don't think that would be appropriate with Zoe," she teased when they pulled away and she leaned her forehead on his.

"Good thing that I'm here."

Their lips met again.

++++++

In the house across, Gale came out of the bathroom and found Johanna sitting on the bed. She smiled at him and he made his way over to his side of the bed. "It was a nice party, wasn't it?"

She nodded. "It was. I can't believe that Katniss and Peeta have a five year old."

"Feeling old?" Gale gave her a smile and she hit him with a pillow.

"Feeling experienced," she retorted and they shared a laugh. "Gale?"

"Yeah?" He turned to see her looking at him with serious eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I lied."

"About what?"

"The test wasn't negative," she told him shakily. "Katniss is pregnant."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ask and you shall receive. You went above and beyond 200. For everyone who reviewed, I hope you dream about your favorite Hunger Games character.

I know this was drama filled. I'm sure half of you want to kill me and other half want to kiss me. Hopefully more of the latter. As you can see, Zoe has become very reactive to the bullying so we will get more into that. Now we are seeing the not so good side of Zoe Mellark.

I'm Filipino and I'm sure that other ethnicities do this but when a family member passes away we always put a meal out for them at an altar with their picture during parties.

Reviews are always welcomed and I hope you continue to do so. Personal messages are always wanted.

Next: Johanna has some explaining to do.

Thank you again!

-JLaLa


	10. Hope Again

Author's Note at the bottom!

Hunger Games does not belong to me.

Fill my world with hope again, hope again,  
Sometimes people make the wrong moves,  
Walking in the wrong shoes,  
Make me feel like hope again, hope again.

-Rae Morris (Don't Go)

Note: There is a reference to Mockingjay. If you haven't read it than I suggest at least checking out the Hunger Games Wiki.

All I Know

By JLaLa

Chapter Ten: Hope Again

Month One

"What do you mean Katniss is pregnant?" Gale looked at her with angry eyes. "Why would you tell her that the test was negative?"

Johanna shrunk back at his tone and she spoke to him in a soft voice. "I wanted to be sure that she really wanted it."

"You saw how upset both she and Peeta were. Why not say something afterwards?" He threw up his arms in exasperation. "My God! Do you know how messed up that is?"

She stood up from the bed seething. "Do you know how messed up she was? You weren't there when she came to me! You didn't stay up nights watching over her. You didn't worry that if you left her alone just to take a shower, she might jump off your roof. You weren't there. I was!"

Johanna rarely showed any side of her that wasn't sarcastic or blunt. He had only seen her cry once. It was the first time that Katniss had disappeared from her home. She had not been seen for hours and Johanna had ranted in anger at first for her friend's inability to tell her where she was. Then as the day went on and it began to rain heavily, she began to pace in worry as he watched from her couch. Finally when Katniss had returned, wet but unharmed, Johanna pulled her into a hug as she sobbed and cursed at her friend.

He kissed her for the first time that night. Gale had been falling for her since then. For Johanna always cared but wanted no one to know. She was afraid to care too much because it could all be taken away just like that.

Tonight, he saw her cry for the second time. "You won't understand Gale but I NEEDED to be sure. I needed to know that she wouldn't run." Two single teardrops fell from her chocolate eyes. "When I saw the pain in her eyes, I knew that she wanted it. So did Peeta. It all happened so fast. She was crying and Mrs. Everdeen was pushing me from the room to give them privacy. I threw the test in the outside garbage before I came back here. I couldn't tell her at Zoe's birthday. It was the first birthday she got to celebrate with Zoe."

He softened his gaze. "You will tell her tomorrow though." Johanna nodded and he could see the anguish in her eyes. Johanna had never stopped being her friend's caretaker. "Johanna, get over here."

She tentatively crawled onto the bed. As she got close to him, she sat back on her feet facing him. Gale cupped her cheek marveling at how small her features were against his hand.

He loved his soldier girl.

"You really care about her," he said grinning at her.

She snorted but smiled. "Don't tell her that."

Gale pulled her in for a kiss and when he pulled back her eyes were glowing. She put her head on his chest and he laid back against the headboard. "You know she's going to rip you apart when you tell her, right?"

"Don't I know it," she replied and looked up at him. "I better make the best of tonight then."

000000

Katniss awoke with a groan. She looked around confused before realizing that she was in the living room. She remembered the events of last night and saw that she had been sleeping on Peeta's arm. Sitting up, she looked at the other occupants on the floor. Peeta slept beside her while Zoe was snuggled on his other side.

She placed a pillow under his head and then leaned over him to kiss Zoe's forehead. Getting up, she wobbled slightly as she stood and a sudden nausea spread from her feet to her face. She felt herself begin to sweat and her stomach lurched. Katniss's feet propelled her suddenly to the bathroom on the first floor and with a slam of the door; she began to gag into the toliet.

Halfway through her sick spell, she realized something.

That bitch.

Pushing herself up to her feet, she yanked the door open and was surprised to see Peeta waiting for her. "Are you alright?" Katniss walked passed him and he followed her quick steps.

"I will be after I murder Johanna," she said angrily. Going outside, she went over to Haymitch's house. "JOHANNA!" She didn't care at the moment that her feet were bare and she was standing in her pajamas yelling at the top of her lungs. "Johanna, you get out here!"

The front door open quickly and Johanna stepped out in her tank top and shorts. Gale followed from behind struggling to put a shirt on his naked chest. "What is going on?"

Katniss looked at her angrily. "Why?" They stared at one another and the realization of what Katniss was asking came to Johanna. She stared at her friend in shame. Katniss felt her throat tightened. "Why did you lie?"

"I needed to be sure," Johanna said evenly meeting her gaze. "Let's tell the truth Katniss. You don't have a very good track record when it comes to situations that scare you."

"What is she talking about?" Katniss turned to see Peeta standing behind her. He too had run out barefoot onto the rocky ground.

She made sure that his prosthetic was alright before looking into his bewildered eyes. "I'm pregnant." Her eyes filled with happy tears as she saw the way his face brightened. Then she turned back to Johanna. "She lied to me."

Gale cleared his throat and looked over at Peeta. "Why don't we go to your place? These two need to talk." He walked passed Johanna and squeezed her hand before he went over to Katniss to kiss her forehead. "Congratulations."

He joined Peeta behind Katniss helping the other man back into the house.

Katniss turned to Johanna again. "What did you mean by that?"

"I didn't know if you wanted a baby," her friend said. "Do you remember when you came to me? You were so unhinged and that was from the first baby. I didn't know what would happen with the second one."

"It wasn't because of Zoe," Katniss told her. "It was because of me. I was scared of loving her and I messed up."

She paced back and forth in front of Johanna. "Damnit Jo, how long were you going to keep this from me? Were you going to keep it from me until I was crowning?"

"I would have at least told you when your boobs got bigger," Johanna responded.

They were silent for a moment.

Then laughter.

"I'm not going anywhere," Katniss said after the laughter had stopped and her eyes went sober. "You have to trust me."

Johanna nodded. "You don't know how scared I was back then," she said after a moment. "I didn't know where you would be half the time. How do I know you won't go back to the way you were?"

Katniss sat on the porch steps and her friend joined her. "Did you know what I was doing at night when I would lock the door?" Johanna shook her head. "My milk was coming in so I would pump at night. And while I was doing that I would cry because I could hear her crying for me in my head."

She looked out at the grounds. "Did you know where I would go when I disappeared? I would take the milk and give them to the hospitals or clinics for babies who needed them. All that time, I was a mother just not to the right baby."

"You could've told me." Johanna took her hand and they were silent for a moment. "Are you still angry?"

"Yes." Katniss turned to her. "You saw how upset we were. Wasn't that enough proof for you?"

"It just happened so fast." Her voice was soft. "Your mom was leading me out and I wanted to run back to tell you I lied. Instead I found myself getting rid of the test and walking back home."

"I really never gave you a real reason to trust me," Katniss said in a sharp tone. "I guess this means we're even then because you've given me a reason to not trust you." She stood up and brushed the back of her pants. "I have to go check on Zoe."

As she walked off, Katniss could hear her friend's steps. "You have to forgive me."

She spun around. "Why?"

"During the Quell, I told you I had no one left to love," Johanna said. She fidgeted before speaking again. "That stopped being true in District 13 when you got the pine needles for me."

Katniss suddenly went to her and pulled the other woman into her arms. "Thank you for taking care of me."

"Congratulations," Johanna whispered into her ear.

They pulled back from each other. "Go. You have a family to take care of. I'll be there as soon as I put some real clothes on."

Katniss nodded and watched Johanna disappear into the house. She looked down at her stomach placing two hands on her abdomen.

"That is your Aunt Johanna. She's insane." She smiled to herself. "But she made me realize how much I wanted you."

000000

"So she's pregnant," Gale said as he sat in the kitchen. Peeta paused for a moment before continuing to cut the bread. The two were thrown together while Katniss and Johanna had it out in the front yard.

"It seems so,"Peeta replied before continuing.

He placed the bread on a serving dish and then reached for an adjacent cupboard for the blackberry jam. Katniss had been lucky to find the blackberries during her last hunt.

Walking to the table, he placed it all in front of Gale before going over to the kitchen island to grab the pot of coffee then he joined the other man at the table.

Peeta realized that he had not been alone with Gale since they had first come back. The silence in the room only seemed to punctuate the awkwardness of it all. As Peeta sat across, he prepared his cup silently as Gale took a piece of bread.

"So how does it feel?"

Peeta looked up from his cup. "Honestly I'm surprised but I'm happy. And how does it feel to you?"

"Why would it matter?" Gale stared at him with steel eyes that were so similar to Katniss's.

Peeta still felt a twinge of jealousy sometimes when he thought of the relationship Gale and Katniss shared. He tried to avoid these thoughts because he knew it wasn't in his nature to be jealous. There was a monster in him that sometimes whispered treacherous thoughts in his mind. If he let it take over than it meant a day of asking Zoe to stay away from him.

He was never possessive of Katniss because he knew their story. They weren't meant to be but the thought still made his insides clench.

Peeta took a breath. "It matters. You're her friend."

"And I'm not yours?" Gale countered with a smirk.

"To be honest, I've never thought about it," Peeta said and took a sip from his cup. "We have nothing in common besides Katniss or being in the Rebellion. I don't like to discuss either subject with anyone." He went on. "I don't hunt and you don't bake so we don't have similar interests."

"Yet you're with Katniss and she's practically me but in female form," the other man said. "And you love her. To answer your question, I'm excited for her…and for you."

"Thanks." Peeta offered him a small smile.

"How does it feel?" Gale put his mug down on the table. "To have a kid?"

"Busy," he replied. "Sometimes you don't realize how much time has passed until you wake up and your daughter is celebrating her fifth birthday. I don't think I've had a quiet day since Zoe was born."

"Was it hard to raise her alone?" Gale seemed genuinely curious about the subject so Peeta continued.

"Scary at first. Then slowly you start to trust yourself and go with it. I don't even know how I got through the days when she was baby. I missed Katniss like hell too but I just had to keep going."

"And you're going to do it again," Gale remarked.

"It's worth it." Peeta said more to himself. "Everything. The hijacking, the rebellion, the flashbacks. They're worth it because I've given Zoe the chance to live in a time where she won't be reaped. Not as long as I'm alive."

He looked at Gale for a moment. "Do you want kids?"

"Never thought I did," he said. "I suppose I thought I didn't because Katniss didn't and I was head over heels for her when we were kids." Gale sat back in his chair. "Lately I've been feeling differently."

"Because of Johanna." Peeta gave him a sly grin and Gale nodded. "Can't imagine her as a mom."

"She would be great," he told Peeta. "Jo is always taking care of people. She just never wants people to see it. She wants to play the tough, sarcastic one all the time but I know different. If the time comes, she will love her kid something fierce."

"It's a tough but wonderful thing to be in love with those two," Peeta joked thinking of Katniss and Johanna. Gale agreed and they laughed quietly together.

"Daddy?" Zoe stood at the archway sleepily. She rubbed her eyes. "Why is Mommy yelling at Miss Johanna? She doesn't even have shoes on."

"It's not important Zoe," Peeta told her. "Why don't you go back to bed sweetie? Mr. Gale will bring you up." Gale looked over at him. "Go on. Give it a try."

Gale stood up and knelt before Zoe. She tiredly wrapped her arms around his neck and he picked her up easily. Together they left the room.

Peeta heard the door slam and Katniss's footsteps coming into the kitchen. Suddenly she was before him in her long pajama pants which were stained with dirt at the hem. Her hair was loose and her cheeks were red from arguing with her best friend.

She was beautiful.

"Hey." Katniss looked bashfully at him.

"Hey." Peeta smiled at her. He looked at her stomach which was still flat and their eyes met again. "Are we doing this?"

The two shared a laugh. Then she went to him and put his hand to her abdomen.

"Yes, we are."

++++++

"Johanna was lying wasn't she?"

Katniss looked at Peeta who was sitting at the kitchen table in shock still cradling the phone. "How did you know?"

"I could tell she was lying right away," her mother said through the phone. "She never actually showed anyone that test and during the party she kept on looking at you. I think she was trying to prevent you from eating or drinking anything harmful to the baby if necessary."

"Well she could've told me," Katniss replied in a curt voice.

"She was worried," her mother told her. "Did you really get a look at her face when she told you?" Katniss thought back and her mind replayed that painful moment. There was a brief indescribable look on Johanna's face before she told her the test results. "Katniss, sometimes you don't realize how many people care for you. She took care of you for four years. Essentially she was a mother or an older sister to you and she was worried about you. Probably still is."

"So she doesn't trust me?"

"I'm sure she does." Suzanne sighed into the phone. "There have been a lot of changes in your life recently. It wouldn't be uncommon for someone to revert to past behavior."

"I made my daughter a promise to be here for every birthday from now on," Katniss said softly. "I don't plan to change how I feel. Trust me please."

"Okay." Katniss bristled for her mother's tone sounded as if it was only to placate her. "So I'm going to be a grandmother again."

"Yes," she replied and let the smile come back to her face.

"How have you been feeling?"

"I was feeling nauseous this morning. That's how I found out that Jo was lying."

"I'll send you some teas for it. For now, I'm sure Hazelle might have something since Delly's having a baby."

"Okay."

"Congratulations Katniss," her mother said. "Tell Peeta I said congratulations to him also. Give Zoe a kiss for me."

"I will."

After they hung up, she turned to Peeta who looked at her expectantly. "She says congratulations."

"What's wrong?" Standing up, he walked with her into the living room and they sat on the couch. He could see the tense lines on her face and she reach to touch her abdomen.

"No one seems to trust me," she told him in a sad voice. "I deserve it though."

"We trust each other." Peeta looked at her and she seemed to be struggling with her emotions.

"How do you know I won't leave?" Katniss said to him.

"How do you know I won't hurt you or Zoe?" Peeta took her face in his hands. "We don't. We have to take this one step at a time."

"Are you scared?" Her voice came out in a whisper and he took her hand kissing one finger at a time.

"All the time," he said. "It's what happens when you care. But there's more good than bad to it."

"I miss Prim," Katniss told him. "Thinking that Zoe will have a brother or sister makes me think of her. Of how Zoe will take care of the baby like I took care of Prim. Or how they'll play the same games we did. Then I think she won't ever have to volunteer as Tribute or be reaped or watch him or her die."

"I think about my brothers all the time," Peeta said. "Especially when I'm teaching Zoe how to bake something. It's not easy raising her among the dead sometimes."

The ghosts of District 12 were everywhere to them both. The memories of Peeta's family were all around the bakery while Prim still played in the meadow where they buried the dead.

"When do you think we should tell her about it all?" Katniss turned to him as she asked.

His eyes went to the book that they had created and he got up to pull it from the shelf. Sitting back beside her, he opened the book to see the faces of their fallen friends and family. Katniss stopped a sob from escaping when she saw the smiling face of her sister and she read what she had written letting a few tears fall onto the pages.

The last page held a picture of Zoe as a baby. Peeta had filled the pages with thoughts about her; what made her giggle, the songs that put her to sleep, how she could only sleep with her green blanket. "I put her here because in the end, I had to remind myself why I was going on despite the fact that death was all around me."

"She fills me with hope again," he told her. "So do you."

They stared at one another and she felt the same warmth and comfort when they were teenagers hiding in a cave together. When she was only figuring out how love worked.

"So will he," Katniss said to Peeta. He smiled at her and pressed his lips to hers. She loved how familiar it was. His lips on hers. It was always what brought her back to him.

"You're so sure it's a boy." He grinned.

"Mother's instinct, I guess." As she sat back, Peeta put a hand to her stomach. "When should we tell Zoe?"

"Soon." Peeta laid back on her lap and look up at her pretty face. "I don't like to hide things from her. Also, we should probably talk to her counselor about the baby when we get to the Capitol."

"I forgot that we had to do that." She grimaced.

"Forgot or avoided the thought?" Peeta closed his eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Both."

++++++

Peeta looked at the evening sky as they rode on the train on their way to meet Dr. James Lawrence. When he had called to arrange an appointment with Dr. Lawrence, the man suggested that they meet face to face for his initial appointment with Zoe. Unfortunately, the doctor could not come to them as he had patients who he saw on a daily basis.

"I want her to see my face," he told Peeta over the phone. His voice was quiet and deep. It almost sounded familiar to Peeta. "She needs to trust me if she is going to even speak to me. I think that if we meet then she can visualize me when we're on the phone."

Reluctantly, Katniss and he agreed to come to the Capitol where his office was. They had told Effie that they would be coming so that she could see Zoe and also they planned to tell her about the baby. Looking over at Katniss and Zoe who were asleep, he tried to stop the nervousness inside him. It had been long time since he had been to the Capitol.

Katniss had also felt nervous about coming. They had chosen to not stay in her former home with Johanna and Gale because it brought too many memories out. Effie had arranged for them to stay in a penthouse close to Dr. Lawrence's office.

He sat back in his seat across from the two watching them sleep. It would be worth it if it helped Zoe. She had seemed okay these past few days and didn't have any trouble in school due to Katniss's amazing shooting display. Who knew how long that would last? Delly had given permission for them to take a few days to go during the school week.

Being friends with the principal had its benefits.

Would Katniss be okay being back in the Capitol?

It seemed to dredge up bad memories for her. However, she too understood that Zoe needed this. Peeta believed that she blamed herself despite his assurance that it wasn't her fault.

He watched over his two girls until his own eyes began to grow heavy and he fell into a deep sleep.

++++++

When Peeta awoke, he was aware of two things. The first thing being that it was daylight and the other being that snuggled next to him were Katniss and Zoe. When he adjusted himself, Katniss stirred and then looked up at him from her spot on his chest. Zoe was curled up against Katniss with her head on her lap.

"When did you two get over here?" His eyes adjusted to the light coming from the windows.

"Sometime in the middle of the night when Zoe woke me up and told me that we should not let you sleep alone because it wasn't fair," she replied and smiled. "Did you sleep well?"

"No nightmares," he replied. "And yourself?"

She shook her head. "None for me."

The compartment door opened and Johanna entered with Gale in tow from their sleeping cabin. The two decided to come so that they could check in at their jobs even though they were on leave.

"We'll be getting to the Capitol in thirty minutes," she told them. "Just in case you wanted to get freshened up."

"I better get ready," Katniss said with a groan. Peeta lifted Zoe from her lap. As she stood up, Katniss put a hand to her mouth. "I feel sick."

Johanna went to her side. "Let's get you to the ladies room." She protectively held Katniss's arm as they walked out of the private cart.

"How long has it been since you came to the Capitol?" Gale asked as he sat across from both he and Zoe.

"Not long enough," he replied. "Can you hold her? I have to get her clothes." Peeta lifted her and placed her in Gale's arms.

Since their last conversation, Peeta had done little things to give Gale a taste of parenthood like picking Zoe up from school or letting him read her bedtime stories. Johanna had raised a suspicious brow at it but remained silent. Gale didn't seem to mind as he had taken care of Posy when she was baby. Since Rory was also having a baby, he needed to brush up on handling children.

"So what do you know about this Dr. Lawrence?" Gale asked as Peeta pulled a bag from the compartment above them.

"He comes highly recommended by Zoe's teacher," Peeta told him. He reached for the rose colored dress that Zoe had picked out the night before. "She studied with him before going into teaching."

Hanging the dress on a curtain rod, he pulled out a pair of slacks and a button up. They were to go to their appointment after a lunch with Effie. She always insisted that they looked their best especially she would be escorting them through the Capitol.

Zoe whimpered in Gale's arms and the other man smiled down at her as she woke up. "Morning little one." Peeta could tell that he adored Zoe and it was because she resembled Katniss but acted like Peeta. A perfect combination.

"Hi Mr Gale," she said with a yawn. "Are we there yet?"

"In about thirty minutes," he told her. "You should get up so you can get ready. Your dad has already brought out your dress."

Zoe stood up and went to Peeta. "Morning Daddy." She threw her arms around his neck. "I'm so excited. Miss Effie told me that she has all kinds of things to show me!"

"I'm sure she does," Peeta told her. "First, we have to get you all dressed up and proper for your Capitol debut." He stood up. "Your mommy should be out soon."

"I'm here Peeta." He looked up to see her at the compartment doorway. She wore a yellow dress and he remembered seeing her in it during the Victory Tour. The skirt was a little higher since she had grown a few inches. Her hair was down and she wore a simple gold chain around her neck.

The most radiant thing about her was the glow on her face. It was the look of knowing a secret that no one else knew. She smiled at her daughter than met his eyes. "I'll take her to get change. Let's go Zoe."

Peeta handed Zoe the dress and she walked over to Katniss before they disappeared into the other compartment.

He turned to look out the window and he could see the silhouette of the Capitol buildings through the mountains. Johanna joined him at the window and his mind went back to a time when they were cell to cell, both at the brink of insanity. He clenched his fists.

Then he could feel Johanna's small but strong hand unclenching his fist finger by finger. He looked at her for a moment with blazing eyes still living in the memory of their torture. "It's over."

"Daddy?"

He turned and saw his girls hand in hand. Zoe had her hair in a braid. Katniss looked at him concerned at what she saw in his expression. She went to Peeta and put her free hand on his face soothingly. Her grey eyes searched his and his body relaxed.

As the train rounded a clearing of trees, the Capitol was in front of the five greeting them with false shine.

"Welcome to the Capitol," Johanna said.

"May the odds be ever in our favor," Katniss responded quietly.

++++++

"Did Effie say she was going to meet you?" Johanna asked as they slowed into the train station.

"Yes, she never turns down a chance to see Zoe," Peeta told her from where he sat with his arm around Katniss.

"Oh shit." Gale was looking out the window with a deep frown on his face.

"Mr. Gale said a bad word!" Zoe looked at him with shocked eyes though she was trying not to giggle.

He smiled apologetically at her parents then at her. "Sorry kiddo. Don't ever say that word like me."

"Why?"

"Because you get punished."

"But you're a grown up," she replied curiously. "Who punishes you?"

"Miss Johanna." Gale looked over at Johanna who grinned at him wickedly.

"Now that we've learned a little too much," Peeta said. "What's going on?"

"Reporters. A whole lot of them," Gale informed him then he turned to Johanna. "I'll lead, you stay behind them." She nodded in agreement.

"I'm going to kill Effie," Peeta said. "She assured me that this would be a private visit."

"You know her." Katniss took his hand. "Effie probably told two friends who told a hundred other people. You know that she was probably spreading that we were together the last time she saw us."

The train came to a stop and Gale went to the door. "Peeta, carry Zoe. I'll keep them off you as much as I can."

Peeta picked his daughter up. "Hold on to me." She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Zoe started to tremble out of excitement and fear.

"I'm right behind you baby," Katniss said to her softly and she smoothed her daughter's hair. Johanna stood behind them taking their luggage.

"Single file everyone," Gale instructed them.

Opening the door, they made their way out onto the station. The camera flashes were everywhere and reporters shouted questions from every direction.

"What is your daughter's name?"

"Have you finally married?"

"Will there be any more children for you?"

"Are the rumors that you split up years ago true?"

The last question made Katniss cringe. She kept her eyes on Zoe who was hiding in Peeta's shoulder though she looked up once in a while to meet her mother's eyes. Katniss would smile at her occasionally sticking her tongue out to make her laugh.

"I see Effie," Johanna said behind her.

The woman was waiting closer to the exit and she waved frantically at them. Zoe turned when she heard Effie's name. The little girl waved excitedly at the woman and the cameras seemed to flash twice as much.

The Capitol loved Zoe.

The little girl struggled against Peeta's body trying to get down. Finally she broke from his hold and sprinted to the woman. "Miss Effie!"

Effie in her light pink wig and fuchsia pants suit scooped the little girl up. Her outfit went well with Zoe's rose colored dress. Zoe wrapped her legs around Effie's waist. It was rare to see Effie care so little about what was going around her but Zoe's excitement kept her at full attention. Peeta took Katniss's hand and they went over to their old chaperone.

"Effie, why are there so many reporters here?" Katniss asked exasperated.

"When Peeta called me, I was at a social function and someone probably heard me mention your name and where we were meeting. You know how nosy people are here," she told them all the while smiling brightly for the cameras. "We shouldn't waste our time here." She led them out where a large car with tinted windows met them. "All of you have a big, big day!"

Peeta and Katniss grinned at each other in remembrance.

"Oh…" Zoe said in awe looking at the automobile. Cars were rare in Twelve

When they were all in, they settled into a comfortable silence. Zoe sat on Effie's lap while she quietly talk to her about each building or monument the little girl asked about. Gale and Johanna sat across while Katniss and Peeta sat next to one another. They looked at the shiny buildings and Katniss reached for his hand.

It was like they were sixteen again and being taken to the transformation center. She looked at Peeta who was looking out the window. She could see his frown in the reflection of the window. She put her chin on his shoulder and he turned to her with a smile.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

"Scared, I guess." Peeta kissed her forehead which did not go unnoticed by Effie though she remained tight-lipped. "About today and seeing Dr. Lawrence. It just reminds me of my own sessions with Dr. Aurelius."

"It wasn't a bad experience, was it? He brought you back right to me, right?"

"Yes, but the road to get there wasn't easy," he recollected. "Do you think that Zoe will need to talk to him for a long time?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure but Zoe's a different case." Peeta nodded though she could tell he was still tense. "Do you remember before the Quell when we got that one free day on the roof?"

"Yes."

"Do you think that we'll have a roof where we're staying?" Katniss whispered this in his ear and she could feel a shiver go through him. Their eyes met and she could see the heat in his.

"Want to relive some old memories?" Katniss felt her own body react to his own whispered question.

"More like make new ones," she replied and Katniss realized that his lips were dangerously close to hers.

"Hey! Did you forget that there's a child in the car?" They looked to see Johanna looking at them with a smirk.

"I think they forgot everyone was in the car," Gale said grinning at Katniss. She scowled.

She could hear Zoe's giggle behind her and she buried her face in Peeta's chest. Katniss could feel the rumble of his own laugh.

"Oh look, we're here!" Effie said as the car stopped. She opened the door quickly and helped Zoe out. The two held hands as they walked to the building.

Katniss and Peeta followed suit. The building was a metallic blue high rise and Katniss almost strained her neck looking up at it.

"Our place is not far from here," Johanna informed them. "We're just going to walk over there. Is there anything you need from there?" She looked at her friend.

Katniss shook her head. "Nothing."

They all agreed to meet for dinner and separated.

"I see that you missed the Capitol," he joked lightly as they entered the building.

"My house here was just a place to rest, a place to be," she said stiffly.

"Come, come," Effie said to them. "Lunch is waiting." She shooed all of them into the elevator and when the door closed pushed the button to the Penthouse.

The elevator shot up in a quiet but quick speed. Zoe grabbed her mother's hand. "I don't like this Mommy." Katniss pulled her against her hip.

"We'll be there soon," Katniss assured her.

It was only seconds later that the ding of the elevator rung out and the doors open. She led Zoe into the room. The room had wrap around windows and the morning sun brightened the room. Comfortable couches surrounded the fireplace and the dining area was next to the windows overlooking the Capitol.

"Wow." Zoe went to the table where an array of different dishes was displayed on the table. The most impressive were the desserts with the bright pastels colors that Zoe favored.

"Katniss," Effie called out and lifted a covered pot. "I had them make your favorite!"

While she did love lamb stew, there was something in the smell that made her stomach curl into itself. Peeta saw her face drain of color and his face fell into a panic.

She bit her lip to stop herself from gagging and smiled at them. "You go ahead and start. I need to wash up."

The bathroom wasn't hard to find and she turn the sink on to hide her retching into it. She would have to ask Johanna to get some of the tea her mother recommended. She couldn't get it herself in fear that someone would see her. Swishing some water in her mouth, Katniss spit it out and made sure that she looked presentable.

When she opened the door, she was surprised to see Effie waiting for her with a glass of water.

"Thank you," she said taking a sip and they walked silently.

"You know Katniss, you could have told me," Effie said in a miffed tone. "How far along are you?"

"About a month," she replied. "We were going to tell you when we were without Zoe. She doesn't know yet."

"I'd hate to think that you didn't trust me."

Katniss stopped and turned to look at Effie. She realized that Effie's feelings were hurt. She felt horrible because Effie did nothing of any sort that would be deemed untrustworthy. She took care of Zoe and had a lunch set up with her and Peeta's favorite foods. She and Peeta had thought that she had leaked to the reporters that they were coming when she only mistakenly talked to Peeta around nosy people.

"I'm sorry Effie." She took the woman's gloved hand. "I do trust you. You have done nothing but take care of us. You've always taken care of Peeta and I. You've taken care of Zoe and you will take care of this baby."

"Of course," Effie replied and Katniss squeezed her hand. They continued on their way. After a moment, she looked over at Katniss. "Now where shall we have the party?"

"There will be no party for the baby Effie."

"We must! Think of the food, the presents!"

"I said no."

Effie pouted. "You are no fun."

++++++

The family entered the office of Dr. Lawrence and Peeta went to tell his assistant that they had arrived. The young woman with dark, burgundy hair looked at Peeta clearly admiring his handsome face than at Katniss who was making sure that Zoe looked okay. She picked up the phone to let the Doctor know that they had arrived.

A few moments later, a heavy-set man with dark skin entered the room smiling kindly at them. "Hello, I am Dr. James Lawrence." Katniss and Peeta nodded at him with small smiles. His eyes went to Zoe and he held out his hand. "You must be Zoe. It's a pleasure to meet you."

She looked at him for a moment searching his eyes before shaking his hand tentatively. "I like your beard." It was the ultimate sign of trust if she was complimenting someone.

"Why don't we go into my office?"

"Should we stay here?" Peeta asked and the man shook his head.

"I'd like you both to come in," Dr. Lawrence told him. "This is more of an introductory meeting."

They walked into the room and Katniss was surprised to see that it was not at all sterile looking. The walls were light blue and children's drawings were hung against a bulletin board. There was a shelf full of books and games for kids. There was no desk but two couches along with a single matching chair. A coffee table was in the middle of all the furniture.

"Would you like anything to drink? Coffee, water, tea?" He offered and Katniss shook her head and Peeta also declined. "Would you like some juice Zoe?" Zoe nodded and he went to a fridge pulling out a juice box giving it to her. "My kids liked these ones when they were younger."

"You have children?" Peeta asked curiously.

"Two. Kaya and Christopher. Kaya is my assistant," he said them and they remained quiet. "You two need to relax or we won't have any fun here." Zoe giggled. "It will be okay." He turned to Zoe. "Why don't you draw a picture of your family and where you live while I talk to your parents?"

He placed a box of crayons and some paper on the coffee table and she set to work. "So what do you do for a living Peeta?"

"I own a bakery," Peeta replied.

"And you Katniss?"

"I don't really work but I do hunt," she told him. Katniss felt conscious of what she said. Was that the wrong answer?"

"That's an interesting hobby," the man said to her. "Did you learn out of fun? Or for other reasons?"

"For survival," she said stiffly and Peeta took her hand.

The man nodded and then turned to Peeta. "Why did you decide to become a baker?"

"My family ran a bakery but it was bombed during the Rebellion." Peeta took a deep breath. "When I came back to Twelve, I decided to rebuild."

"Would you have wanted to try another trade if you were given a choice?"

"He's a brilliant painter," Katniss told the man. She smiled at Peeta and his eyes softened. "Zoe had a beautiful painting that he did in her room."

"Of what?"

"Katniss," Peeta replied still looking at her. "During her interview with Caesar Flickerman."

"I remember," Dr. Lawrence said with a smile. "You were quite lovely."

"Still is."

"Now why don't we see what Zoe has drawn for us?" Zoe went to him shyly and presented her picture. He placed it on the table. "Why don't you tell us about your picture?"

"This is our house here." Zoe pointed to the rectangular building with the red roof. "This is Grandpa Haymitch's house. He is in the sky now so Mr Gale and Miss Johanna stay there." The house was similar to their house but with a brown roof and geese littered around it. "Here is me and Daddy. Here is Mommy."

"What is your Daddy holding?" Dr. Lawrence pointed to the pink blob in Peeta's hand.

"A cupcake because he always makes me cupcakes," she explained like it was something the man should've known.

"Zoe, why is your Mommy outside and not in the house with you and your Daddy?"

Zoe's brows furrowed and she was suddenly confused. "She must be going hunting," she said after a moment.

"But she has no bow and arrow," he told her.

The figure that was Katniss was empty handed as he had pointed out.

"She doesn't seem to be going to this forest that you've drawn," he said to her pointing to the trees she had drawn to the left side. Katniss was inbetween the two houses.

"Mommy doesn't know where she belongs," Zoe said slowly as she looked at the picture. "I think she should stay with me and Daddy." Her blue eyes were focused sadly on her mother's drawn figure. "I just have to be better so that she does."

"Why did you draw yourself with no face?"

"Because I don't know which face will keep Mommy with me," she told him simply. Katniss bit her lip to stop from crying and she saw that Peeta's own eyes were wet. "I don't want to draw anymore."

"Okay Zoe," Dr. Lawrence told her. "It's a wonderful drawing. I am going to hang it up." He went to the bulletin board and put it up. Zoe's face brightened. "I have one more question. Who told you that needed to have a special face for your Mommy to stay?"

"The big kids at school did. They said that District 12 was not good enough for her to stay in. Some said that she would leave when I became the bad word because she was the bad word."

Her eyes were sorrowful and scared. "Then the voice in my head started to say the same thing."

++++++

Katniss took another tissue from the Doctor's box to wipe her eyes. "I'm sorry; I'm not usually like this." Zoe was with Kaya who was reading a story with her in the waiting area.

"She's pregnant," Peeta said and he rubbed her back. "She is also very afraid for Zoe."

"I could tell," Dr. Lawrence said gently. "Why don't you come take a look at Zoe's picture with me?" They all went to the board. "Do you notice anything about the drawings?"

The drawings were arranged in pairs and were in columns. Zoe's drawing was the only solo one.

"The pairs were drawn from the same child," Peeta said to him.

"Right," the older man responded. "Anything else?"

Katniss examined one of the pairs then her eyes roamed the other ones. "In the first drawing, none of them have faces."

"Exactly. These were drawings made from their first appointments," he informed them. "Our goal for Zoe is to get from that drawing." He pointed to her drawing. "To one like this." He pointed at the drawing with the big yellow sun and the family with big smiles on their faces. The child's face included its own smile.

He turned to the couple. "Zoe is a good girl. She is smart. She is also very observant." He pulled out a pad from his pocket. "However, there is a self-esteem issue that she has seemed to gain from the teasing at school. It has manifested in her own conscious which is why she is telling herself that she needs to be something that will keep you here."

He looked at Katniss and handed her the piece of paper. "This is my phone number. I'd like you to have her call me once a week. It's important for her to call me herself. She needs to gain a sense of independence."

They nodded. "You two are also wonderful people for everything you've been through. I can tell you love each other but I'd like to talk to both of you also after each call with Zoe. We can talk about her progress and I can do a little coaching for both of you." The doctor looked at both of their overwhelmed faces.

He smiled reassuringly. "We will get through this. All of you will. As a family."

++++++

"Where are you taking me?" he asked her. Katniss remained silent but smiled as she led him up the stairs.

Johanna and Gale had suggested that they have dinner at their place and reluctantly Katniss agreed to go to her old place. He had seen her room. It had been sparse. She explained that she was there just to sleep.

The couple had taken Zoe to the store so that she could choose what to make for dinner leaving the parents alone. As soon as the door closed, Katniss had taken his hand and pulled him out of the room quickly.

They reached a door and she twisted the knob then pushed against it. "It's a little hard to open when it gets cold up here." The door opened and she pulled him through. "When Jo was out on an assignment, I needed to preoccupy myself. So I would walk around just to get my mind off things. Then I discovered this place and made it my own little world."

They turned the corner and he was in paradise.

The roof had been turned into a garden. She led him to the large lawn and they laid back. The sky was orange as the sun began to set and above them the sky was purple. Peeta turn to his side to look at her. Her hair was spread against the grass. "I would just lay here. Think about you or Zoe. Watch the sunset."

"It reminds me of—"

"The picnic," she finished for him. "You wanted to see a rooftop. I think I remember you telling me something about reliving old memories?" Katniss looked at him and smiled.

Peeta sat up and gazed down at her. He caressed her face and she shivered. He knew that she wasn't cold. Leaning down, he kissed her lips slowly and she reached for him running her hands through his hair. She deepened the kiss and when he finally pulled away they were gasping.

"It was you who wanted to go to a roof. I think we were talking about making some new memories," he said with a grin.

So they did. Twice.

++++++

Johanna and Gale walked with Zoe in-between them when they came across it. Zoe had picked out a number of frozen foods mostly because she liked the pictures.

They were in front of the building and the blazer laid crumpled on the ground. Johanna picked it up to examine it. "Isn't this Peeta's?"

"I think so," Gale said when he looked up and saw something floating towards the ground.

It was yellow.

It was a dress.

It was Katniss's.

The couple looked up to make sure that there were no other articles of clothing hitting the ground.

"Oh hell."

"You said a bad word!" Zoe pointed at Gale with glee. Then she turned to Johanna. "Punish him!"

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I know it was kind of abrupt but we have to give the couple some privacy.

Thank you for all your alerts, favorites and reviews. I love them all! Some of you were pretty pissed off at Johanna but she had her reasons so I hope you forgive her and forgive me. I love Johanna though.

I didn't realize the last name Lawrence could be connected to Jennifer Lawrence till I had already written the good Doctor in. I almost imagine him looking more like James Avery though. You'll have to look him up.

Some of you might already see when this story might be ending. I hope you'll stick around till the end. I am really excited to write the epilogue but sad because the story will be over.

Anyone want to guess the baby name?

I never intend to make these chapters so long and there are moments when I think I can't write anymore but then I do. It's like a disease really.

Do any of you actually listen to the songs that I post at the beginning? Just wondering.

Sorry for the babble.

Reviews are LOVE and thanks for taking me to beyond the requested 200! Can we go for 300?

-JLaLa


	11. Love You Better Now

Author's Notes are at the bottom.

The Hunger Games Trilogy does not belong to me.

I'm gonna pick up the pieces,  
And build a Lego house  
If things go wrong we can knock it down  
My three words have two meanings,  
There's one thing on my mind  
It's all for you...

-Ed Sheeran (Lego House)

Italics=Flashback/Song, etc.

All I Know

By JLaLa

Chapter Eleven: Love You Better Now

Months Two and Three

"Can we come in?" Gale called out peeking from their opened front door.

Katniss looked up at Peeta from where she laid on his lap. They had been discussing a very important topic on the couch, telling Zoe about the baby. He had his hand on her slight bulge and he kissed her before calling out to them. "Come in!"

She sat up and Gale along with Johanna entered the room. Rory and Delly followed them in. The group sat on the adjacent seats next to the couple and Johanna grinned at them. "We didn't want to interrupt you in case you were—what did you call it again?"

The others try to hide their laughter while Peeta had the good grace to blush.

"Doing laundry," the couple replied in unison.

_The incident that Johanna referred to had been a few weeks ago. Katniss admitted that, yes, she had started it by throwing Peeta's blazer from the rooftop. Her mind had been preoccupied feeling his strong body pushing her against the rooftop wall to think._

_Peeta responded in kind by pulling her dress over her head and tossing it into the wind._

_She didn't remember much after that except for the feel of Peeta's hands on her needy body. After they were fully unclothed, they had made sure to thoroughly "remember" their rooftop tryst. She hoped that the wind was loud enough to cover the sounds of their moans._

_When they were sated, the two realized that Katniss had nothing but her underthings and heels. Peeta offered the button-up shirt he wore leaving him only in his undershirt._

_When they entered the apartment, they were greeted by Johanna's maniacal grin and Gale who simply shook his head at them. Zoe greeted them exuberantly telling her parents about the dinner she had heated with the help of Miss Johanna._

_It was then that she noticed Katniss's wardrobe._

_"Why are you wearing Daddy's shirt?" she asked curiously. In her the long shirt, heels, and mussed hair, Katniss looked like she had gotten out of bed._

_She admitted that she was a terrible liar so she told Zoe the one thing that popped into her head._

_"We were doing laundry."_

_Johanna snorted a laugh back loudly._

_"Your dress doesn't look dirty," Zoe replied._

_She pointed to the yellow dress that hung on the coat rack along with Peeta's blazer. Peeta ran a hand through his hair, his face red._

_"Well we cleaned it but the wind must have blown them away?"_

_If Katniss was a terrible liar than Peeta was worse._

_Zoe tilted her head to look into her father's eyes._

_"Okay," she said after a moment and went to help Johanna set the table._

_Gale walked up to the two and his eyes were full of laughter. He looked at Peeta then at Katniss."I think that you should probably change because the grass stains on Peeta's pants are not helping your 'laundry' explanation."_

"Is that what they call it in the Capitol?" Delly asked as she laughed. Her pretty face was lit up and she put a hand on her stomach. In the middle of her second trimester, her pregnancy was much more apparent. It suited her well and did not seem to make her uncomfortable.

"Very funny," Peeta said. "Onto another subject, how are you feeling Dell?"

"Fabulous," she said to them and took Rory's hand. "We did want to tell you that we've found out the sex of the baby."

Everyone turned to them. "Come out with it already," Johanna said in anticipation.

"I hope that my daughter doesn't have a mouth like yours," Rory told her with a grin.

They were all quiet for a moment.

"Damnit," Johanna said and pulled out a stack of bills from her inside her shirt. Dividing the stack, she handed one pile to Gale and the other to Katniss.

"Alright," Katniss said happily and gave Gale a high five.

"What the hell is this?" Rory asked and his brother looked at him guiltily.

"We had a pool going," Peeta said. "Between the four of us and I just lost."

"You were betting on us?" Delly crossed her arms though she was trying to hide her smile.

"And you didn't even let us in on it?" Rory said. "Shame on you guys."

"How about I buy you something for the baby?" Katniss countered with a innocent pout that resembled Zoe's.

"You have your own baby to deal with," Delly said and took her hand. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling good." She looked over at Peeta. "The thing is that we have a problem. Maybe you could help us out with it. We haven't told Zoe yet."

"Why?"

"She's been doing really well with her phone sessions," Peeta said to his friend. "We don't want her to have a setback."

"Hiding it from her is not going to help," Johanna said as she put her feet on the coffee table. "She's going to find out eventually when she notices that you can't put your shoes on by yourself."

"We know that," Peeta said to them. "We keep on telling each other that we're going to but the timing never seems right."

"My suggestion is to go somewhere where she's comfortable," Delly said. "Make the day for her and then tell her that you're celebrating that she is going to be a big sister."

"Okay," Katniss said after a moment. She turned to Peeta. "What do you think?"

"Sounds good to me," he told her. "Where should we bring her?"

The group of friends sat silent for a moment.

Suddenly Johanna sat up and slammed her hand on the coffee table. "I got it!" They turned to her. "You take her to the tree where you conceived her."

Katniss took the pillow from behind her back and threw it at her friend.

"I told you that was a secret!"

Peeta put his face in his hands.

++++++

"Mommy, when can I learn to shoot like you?" The family walked through the forest. While Johanna's idea seemed ridiculous at first, they realized that Zoe would enjoy being out in the woods. She was an explorer like Katniss and liked looking at the sky through the tall trees.

Katniss watched her with a soft smile. Zoe would never have to use the forest as a means to survive like she did. Neither did the boy in her belly. The dream of her children in the meadow grew more vivid and she tightened her hold on Peeta's hand.

"One day sweetie," she said and the little girl ran to a log so that she could use it as a balance beam.

"Why don't you sit with us Zoe?" Peeta said as he helped Katniss sit on the log. He had been extra attentive of her lately though there was something different with this pregnancy. She had still suffered from the same symptoms that she had with her first one but emotionally she was different. "We need to talk to you about something."

"Yes Daddy?" Zoe sat inbetween her parents. She looked at him with wide blue eyes and he suddenly felt nervous. Even though she had his eyes, she definitely had Katniss's stare.

"Mommy and I have some news to tell you," Peeta said. "You're going to be a big sister." He grinned at her.

"What?" She looked at him blankly then she looked at her mother to clarify.

"I'm going to have a baby Zoe," Katniss said to her. She put a hand to her stomach.

Peeta and Katniss looked at her expectantly. The little girl stood up and then turned to her parents.

"Okay," Zoe said after a moment. "Can I go look for bunnies?"

++++++

"I thought we would have gotten a bigger reaction than that," Peeta said quietly to her as they sat on the couch later that day. Katniss put her head on his shoulder with a frown.

She was confused herself. Zoe was the kind of child that would get excited off of most discoveries. However, her reaction was so aloof, so nonchalant, so well…Katniss. They could hear her excited chatter coming from the kitchen and they wondered briefly if she was telling the good doctor of their big news.

Zoe was in the kitchen having her phone session with Dr. Lawrence. Since their initial meeting, they had taught her how to use the phone to call for her appointments. They had written out a calendar for her so that she could see when she was supposed to call which also meant that they had taught her about dates and time. Beside Dr. Lawrence, they had taught her to call Peeta's bakery, her mother's house, as well as Johanna and Gale though they were only a walk away.

"I know. Do you think that she's not happy about the baby?" Katniss asked him. She had thought back to when her parents had announced that she was going to be a big sister. Katniss remembered being excited but then becoming worried that her father would love the baby more.

One night, her father tucked her in and she had quietly asked him if he would love the baby more that her. It would be much cuter and much tinier than her. She remembered the way his smile made the corner of his eyes crinkle.

"Every father loves each child differently," he told her. "There is no more or less. Katniss, I love you to the moon and back." She had been amazed because the moon was pretty far and it pleased her. The day Prim was born was the day she understood the depth of protectiveness and love that one could have for another person.

"Maybe she's afraid that we'll like the other baby more," she suggested to him. "I was thinking about when I was younger and thought that my parents would love Prim more than me."

"Since I was the youngest, I've never really had to worry about that," he told her. "And of course, my mother hated me so I never had to worry about not being loved." His eyes were bitter.

She looked at him sadly before kissing his knuckles. Katniss could see the turmoil in his eyes and the memories that were filling him. "Peeta, breathe."

Katniss waited for several minutes for the color to return to his face. He exhaled and then turned to her with watery eyes. "Sorry."

"Never say sorry." Katniss kissed the corner of his mouth. "You didn't make this happen. Your mother did. Snow did. Coin did. You didn't."

Peeta kissed her fully on the mouth. "I love you Katniss Everdeen. To the moon and back." Her eyes filled with tears remembering how her father had said the same. She blamed it on the hormones as everything made her either cry or vomit lately.

"Mommy?"

They turned to see Zoe at the archway. She approached them timidly. "Dr. Lawrence says he wants to talk to you and Daddy."

She nodded and kissed her forehead before getting up. "Why don't you go upstairs and work on your drawing for Dr. Lawrence?" Peeta kissed the top of her head before she zipped up the stairs.

Together they went to the kitchen and sat at the island where the phone was. Peeta picked up the phone and put it on speaker mode. "Hi Dr. Lawrence," he said. "We're both here."

"Hello you two," he said over the phone. "Well the good thing is that she's given your more of an identity in her drawings, Katniss. You have a bow and an arrow in the last drawing you've sent."

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"It means that Zoe is seeing you as a more solid figure in her life. She knows your routine, your hobbies," he told her. Katniss breathe a sigh of relief.

"Doctor, we told Zoe about the baby," Peeta said. "And she had no reaction."

"She didn't mention it over our session," he mused. During these sessions, Dr. Lawrence would ask her to tell him about her week, about anything important or mundane. "Interesting. Tell me has she ever seen a newborn baby or known anyone having a baby?"

"Well, her Aunt will be having a baby," Peeta said referring to Delly. "I don't think Zoe had ever seen a newborn."

"If you think about it, the word 'baby' means nothing to her because she doesn't understand what it is. So she associates the word as another activity or object," he explained. "She hasn't grasped how big of an event it is."

"How do we help her understand?" Katniss said speaking into to the phone.

"You start to prepare," he told them. "Start the nursery, get baby clothes. Include her in all of this. Do things that let her know that the baby is going to be a physical being."

"Okay," Peeta agreed. "We'll try doing that." He looked at Katniss and she nodded in agreement.

"Knowing Zoe, she will have questions so be prepared," he told them. "How are you feeling Katniss?"

"Tired sometimes," she replied. "Hormonal all the time. It feels different this time in my mind."

"Have you been taking anything other than prenatals? Any of your previous medications?" He was referring to the list of anxiety medications and anti-depressants that she was on months ago. Dr. Lawrence had contacted her previous doctors who had told him that she had tapered off them before she had come back to District 12.

"Nothing but the vitamins."

"Good, good. And you Peeta?"

"I'm okay," he replied and took her hand. "Sometimes I think about my family and I get upset."

"Why?"

"Mostly because of my mother," he said in quiet anger. "She was never the nicest person."

"That is unfortunate son," Dr. Lawrence said in a sympathetic voice. "You did well for your circumstances. Both of you did. You have to remember that. You have to remind each other of this."

Peeta nodded to himself. "Thanks."

"I have one more thing," he told them. "I want you to go on a date."

"Why?" Katniss looked at Peeta in confusion.

"I supposed because I'm sure in-between the Games and fighting in the Rebellion, the last thought on your minds was courtship," Dr. Lawrence responded but they heard the teasing tone in his voice.

Katniss blushed and looked at Peeta who shyly avoided her eyes before talking back into the speaker.

"We'll think about it," Peeta said. "Thank you Doctor."

++++++

Later that week, the weather had made a sudden change and it had become horribly hot in District 12. It was worse for Katniss as well as Delly who was in the last month of her second trimester. As the sun began to set, they decided that they would have dinner out on the front porch. Gale and Rory set up a table on the porch along with some chairs. They lit candles so that there was the warm glow for them to eat by. Zoe sat with her mother and Johanna on the porch swing.

As the night got warmer, Zoe put her head on her mother's lap and Katniss undid her braid running her fingers through the little girl's soft hair. She hummed to her daughter and Johanna watched the two. There was a stirring inside of her as she watched Katniss and Zoe. Johanna wondered if she would ever be able to do the same.

She caught Gale's eyes and her cheeks grew hot realizing that he had caught her wistfully gazing at her friend. Was it possible that he wanted the same thing she did?

Delly and Peeta came out holding dishes of delicious smelling food.

"Come and get it!" Peeta called out.

Katniss roused Zoe and the little girl got up lazily going to the table. Rory pulled a chair out and helped Delly into her seat. Peeta did the same for Katniss and Zoe while Johanna sat on Gale's lap.

As they all began to pile food on their dishes, Delly suddenly yelped and put a hand to her stomach.

"Are you alright?" Rory stood up in a panic. "It's too early!"

"No, darling," she said calmly. "The baby is kicking." He sat back down relieved.

"Baby?" Zoe's attention was caught. "What baby?"

"The baby in my belly," Delly told her with a smile. "Come here."

Zoe walked to her tentatively and her aunt took her hand placing it on stomach. They watched as the little girl felt around and suddenly she jumped back. "What was that?"

"The baby," Rory said as he pressed his hand to his wife's belly also.

"Does it hurt?" Zoe asked her with a worried frown.

"No," Delly said with a smile. "It feels like bubbles or butterfly wings."

"Butterfly wings?"

"You'll get used to it when your little brother or sister begins to move." Delly smiled at Katniss. "I'm sure you moved a lot when you were in your Mommy's tummy."

Zoe turned to Katniss. "Mommy, your stomach doesn't look like Aunt Delly's. How can there be a baby in there too?"

"The baby is still very small," she responded.

"Does it hurt you?" Zoe's voice was worried.

"No, the baby is safe and sound," she told her daughter. Katniss placed Zoe's hand on her belly.

"Mommy, the baby is too small!" Her eyes were frantic and it was then that they knew she was starting to understand. "I can't feel anything!" She turned to Peeta. "Daddy, she needs to eat more! Feed her!"

"Sweetie, the baby will get bigger," he assured her. "You just have to be patient and in time, you will be able to feel your brother or sister."

"Okay," she said to them. "Can the baby hear me?"

"Of course," her father told her. "You are the baby's big sister."

Zoe knelt before her mother and placed a hand on her stomach. "Hello in there. It's me Zoe,your big sister. I'm going to take care of you and show you how to draw. I'll take care of you like Mommy took care of Aunt Prim."

Katniss smiled down at her daughter then at Peeta. "I guess that solves that problem."

Zoe looked up at her then at Peeta. "I have a question."

"Yes?"

"How did the baby get in Mommy?" The table went silent.

"Yes, I'd be really interested in hearing this," Gale said grinning. Peeta suddenly regretted becoming the man's friend.

"Yeah, how did the baby get in Katniss?" Johanna leaned forward and rested her chin in her hands.

Those two were partners in crime.

Peeta looked around the table. He saw Rory's sympathy gaze, Delly's encouraging smile, Gale's smirk, Johanna's interested stare and finally Katniss's curious eyes. He didn't think that 'the talk' would have come so soon. His eyes rested on a bread basket close to him.

"Zoe, in every woman there is an…oven." A collective groan was heard through the table and his face flushed. "And when she is ready, she grows a baby in her like dough baking in an oven. Just like in the bakery."

"Who puts the dough in a woman?" Johanna tried to muffle her laugh.

"The man who loves her," Katniss said trying to help.

"So we all have ovens in us?" Zoe looked down at herself.

"Just girls," Peeta said.

"When can I have a baby?" she asked.

Peeta looked at his daughter whose eyes were so like his own and he answered her truthfully.

"Never."

"Oh okay." She went back to talking to her mother's stomach.

Years later, after a very important health class, Zoe Mellark came home demanding to know why there was no mention of "ovens".

++++++

"Can I ask you another question?" Zoe sat up in bed as Peeta pulled the blanket over her legs. Katniss sat on her bed opposite facing her.

Peeta met her Katniss's eyes. They didn't think that they were up for another talk about "ovens". Gale and Johanna had still been laughing at him when they walked off the porch and back to their home.

"Sure," Katniss said taking the reins. "What do you want to know, my love?"

"Will you love the baby more than me?" Zoe's blue eyes were filled with apprehension.

She kissed her daughter's forehead and she found herself saying the same words that her father did.

"Every mother and father loves each child differently. There is no more or less. Zoe, we love you to the moon and back."

"That's so far," Zoe said quietly but her eyes reflected her happiness.

Peeta walked over to the opposite side and scooted close to his daughter on the bed. He put an arm around her. "You're going to be a great big sister Zoe," Peeta told her. "Just like your Mommy was for your Aunt Prim."

She nodded determined. "Can you teach me a song to sing to the baby?"

Katniss felt her eyes filled with tears and she swipe her eyes quickly. She then adjusted herself so that she was sitting next to Zoe. Zoe laid her head close to her mother's small bump.

"I use to sing this to your Aunt Prim," she said in a choked voice.

"Deep in the meadow, under the willow  
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow  
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes  
And when again they open, the sun will rise.

Here it's safe, and here it's warm  
Here the daisies guard you from every harm  
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true  
Here is the place where I love you".

When she was finished the last notes, her voice was shaky and her daughter looked up worriedly. She smiled through her tears. "Now it's your turn darling. Try singing a little bit of it."

Zoe nodded and took a deep breath before beginning. "Deep in the meadow, under the willow…"

Her voice was sweet and came out in a nervous whisper. She sang into her mother's stomach and when Katniss looked at Peeta, his face was streaked with tears.

Peeta recollected the image of Katniss singing as a young girl. He had fallen in love with her then as a boy. One day there would be a boy who would love his daughter like he loved her mother. Maybe it would be the first time he heard voice, for Zoe's voice was so sweet and melodic just like Katniss's.

When she was done, Zoe looked up at her parents and her face fell into a frown. "Did I sing it wrong?"

"No, Zoe. You were perfect," Peeta said. "We love you so much." He kissed the top of her head. "Time to sleep."

He went over to Katniss and helped her up. She hugged her daughter. "I love you."

"To the moon and back?"

"Always." This time Peeta knew that she meant it.

000000

Katniss wiped her brow as she walked to the house. Her latest kill, a squirrel and a rabbit (which she would hide from Zoe) were in her bag. She was exhausted and she knew it wouldn't be that long till she had to stop hunting. She was a week to the end of her first trimester.

Climbing onto the porch steps, she saw Zoe and Johanna waiting for her. When she spotted her mother, Zoe ran to her. "Mommy!" She was holding a fist full of dandelions. "These are for you."

"Thanks Zoe." Katniss smiled at her. "What's the occasion?"

Johanna went to her and handed her a box. "It's Delly's. She said that it would look better on you." Katniss opened the box and saw something smooth and red.

"What is it?"

"It's a dress brainless," Johanna responded. "Get dressed. You have a date in an hour."

"A date?"

"Yes, a date." Johanna led her into the house. "At Haymitch's. Hurry up now."

"Who is going to watch Zoe?" Johanna quirked her brow and Katniss's eyes widened in surprise. "You're kidding."

"Just call me the babysitter extraordinaire," she told her. "Tonight, I'm in charge."

"Gale will be here, right?"

"I'm hurt," Johanna replied in mock pain. Katniss crossed her arms and her friend relented exasperated. "Yes, he will be here. He is just helping Peeta."

"Come on Mommy," Zoe said leading her to the stairs. "Don't keep Daddy waiting." Together, they went up the stairs to prepare her for her date.

An hour later, she looked at herself in the mirror running her hands down her dress. She put on the strapless heels that Johanna put out. Her hair was down in waves and she wore a little makeup at Johanna's insistence. "How do I look?" She turned to her daughter and her friend.

"Not bad," Johanna said. "Glad to know, you're filling out the dress adequately." She grinned referring to her friend's ample chest.

The dress went to her knees and was off the shoulder. The bodice was fitted while the skirt flared out so that it swung when she walked.

"So pretty Mommy," Zoe said. "Like a princess."

As she walked down the stairs with the two, Gale entered through the front door. He whistled when he caught sight of her. "Wow. The Girl on Fire is back." Her friend grinned at her. "You better get over there. Don't want to keep Peeta waiting."

Katniss kissed her daughter on top of the head. "Be good and listen to Mr. Gale and Miss Johanna." She then went to each friend to give them a hug. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do. You know where we'll be." With that, she was out the door.

"What exactly did she mean by that?" Johanna put her hands on her hips.

"Can I have hot chocolate for dinner?" Zoe asked with a smile.

Gale turned to his girlfriend. "Would Katniss do that?"

Johanna winked at Zoe. "Yes. Definitely yes."

++++++

Katniss opened the front door carefully. "Hello?"

"In here," Peeta called out and she followed his voice into the living room. When she entered, Katniss found him standing in the middle of a candle filled room. The lights were dimmed and the fire was burning slowly. He wore a grey suit with a simple black tie. "Hi."

She clasped her hands and smiled at him shyly. "Hi." Katniss looked around in awe. "Did you do all of this?"

"Gale helped," he told her. "Come in." She walked over to him careful to not knock into any of the candles around the walls or tables. When she reached Peeta, he smiled softly at her. "You look beautiful."

"It was this or my hunting clothes," she said and Peeta led her to the table situated in the middle of the room. "You look nice."

His eyes remained on hers while he helped her into her seat. "Did you want anything to drink? I have dinner heating up in the kitchen so it should be done in the few minutes."

"Water maybe?"

"Sure." He shot up nervously from the seat and went to the kitchen. Coming back quickly, he filled the glass next to her with water then placed the carafe he brought to the side of the table.

Peeta sat down. "So," he said. "Did you get anything good in the woods?"

"A squirrel and a rabbit."

They smiled at one another and the room went quiet. She suddenly realized that this was her first real date. Well technically her second date if you counted their rooftop picnic before the Quell.

"This is weird, isn't it?" Peeta told her. "You look really uncomfortable."

"It's just that I've never been on a real date before," she told him. "I never had to get ready for a meal."

"I guess when you have to be the Mockingjay, they don't really think of preparing you for dating your child's father." Peeta gave her an easy smile. "If it makes you feel better, I've never been on a date either."

"Yeah, you had bigger things to worry about," Katniss replied. "Like not killing me because you were hijacked."

"There must be an easier way to do this." Peeta poured himself a glass of water and took a sip. "I think there is something the Doctor was trying to get us to see."

"That we suck at dating?" She grinned at him.

Peeta shook his head "Maybe that building a relationship is the only way that we can work together as a family. Or even as couple."

"We have been doing things in a weird way," she remarked. They had the baby before even figuring out their feelings. Maybe that's where it went wrong. "This date isn't really us, is it?"

"Well the dress is great but I know you're not comfortable in it," Peeta said. "Also, your hair is different."

"Should I put it in my braid?"

"It will be make easier to kiss that pretty neck of yours." He removed his jacket. "Might as well get comfortable."

"You should remove your tie too," she said as she removed her heels. "Untuck your shirt."

"You're being demanding." Peeta smiled as he did what he was instructed.

"My date, my rules," she said.

"Want to eat dessert before dinner?" Peeta suggested.

"Chocolate cake?"

"It's what you've been craving for the past week," he replied. "I brought the cheese too."

Her eyes lit up. "Let's go."

000000

Gale walked up the stairs to Zoe's room where Johanna was tucking her in. He could hear her light voice and it reminded him of Prim. His heart still hurt to think that she was gone. For a long time, Katniss didn't even want to look at him believing that he had caused her death. For a long time, he believed it too.

As he went to the door, he suddenly stopped feeling as if he was invading a private moment.

"Miss Johanna," Zoe began. "What do you do when you're a big sister?"

"Well, you take care of the brother or sister that is younger than you," Johanna replied. "You make sure that they eat and sleep. When they're sad, you make them feel better in any way you can. You encourage them when they need it."

"Like you do for Mommy." Gale peeked in and saw Johanna sitting on the bed. Zoe sat on her sheets as she hugged her legs.

Johanna nodded in agreement. "I guess so."

"So we're both big sisters then?"

Gale watched her face spread into a smile. He always thought that her smile made her brown eyes even more luminous.

"Yes, we are," she said. "And you know that we big sisters have to stick together."

"We have to help each other," Zoe agreed. She went quiet for a moment. "Miss Johanna?"

"Yes?"

"Can I call you Aunt Johanna? You're kind of my Mommy's sister," she asked.

He could hear that her voice was thick. "Of course."

"Can I call Mr. Gale my Uncle?"

"You can ask him," Johanna told her. "He is standing outside spying on us."

Gale peeped from the doorway and walked in. "I didn't want to interrupt. It seemed like an important talk."

"It was," Johanna said and she turned to Zoe. "Go ahead and ask him."

Zoe turned to him shyly. "Can I call you Uncle Gale?"

He kissed her cheek. "I would be honored."

She blushed. "You're the first boy that kissed me besides my Daddy."

"Well make sure to save your kisses for someone as special as your Mommy is to your Daddy. Or as special as your Aunt Johanna is to me."

"I will," she said and then yawned.

"You better get into bed," Johanna said and the little girl crawled into her blankets. "Good night Zoe."

Zoe held her arms out as she laid and Johanna leaned down so the girl could hug her. "Good night Aunt Johanna."

She did the same to Gale and he kissed her cheek. "Good night Uncle Gale."

When they left the room, Johanna gave him a small smile. "You're really good with her."

"Thanks so are you," he told her. "We better go downstairs and clean up the mess." Johanna nodded with a serious expression and Gale put a hand on her shoulder. "You okay?

"I'm fine," she replied. "I just have some things on my mind." They walked down the stairs.

When they reached the bottom, he pulled her into his arms. "Something is wrong, I can feel it. You've never been so secretive Jo."

She pulled away from him and looked into his concerned eyes. Johanna sighed before answering.

"I think I want to have a baby."

"With me?"

"No, with the guy standing next to you. Of course you!" Johanna looked at him with a smile. "I just never expected to feel this way."

"Me neither." She saw that Gale's eyes were hopeful.

Their eyes met and suddenly his lips were on hers hungrily. Johanna pulled him against her body and he held her up.

"We probably shouldn't do this here," she said against his lips.

"I'm hope they come home soon," he replied pulling her closer to him.

++++++

"This is really delicious," Katniss said as they sat on the island. The cake sat in the middle of the two. Peeta has lost the dress shirt. He now wore only his t-shirt and slacks as well as no shoes. Katniss's hair was back in her signature braid and she sat barefoot also.

"Thanks." Peeta grinned at her. "I think we did pretty well."

"I think I'm going to like dating you," she responded before kissing him.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It's kind of a filler chapter for me. Every story has them.

I know that it's a lot shorter but we're getting to the end. It's definitely sad but never fear I would love to do some one shots based on any of your suggestions.

Ultimately, I don't like to have too many chapters as people begin to lose track of the story. I wanted to keep the story memorable and fresh thus the reason for it ending soon.

I'm also going to be working on an AU for Hunger Games which more of a romantic/comedy. I've been really into those lately.

Thank you to all those who pointed out the error in the last chapter. I uploaded it again and edited so it should be fixed.

I appreciate everyone who reviewed, added me to their favorites or put me on story/author alert. I hope you continue to do so. I also hope you continue to enjoy the story.

Also thanks to everyone who answered my question about the songs. The song for this chapter was just discovered during a shabu-shabu date with my husband.

Watch the music video because I think some of you might recognize the guy in it.

The baby's name has been picked. I've had it for a while.

Next: There will be a month skip. Suzanne and Arthur come to visit.

Reviews mean love!

-JLaLa


	12. Ignite

Author's Notes at the bottom.

The Hunger Games does not belong to me.

And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone, but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you…

-Coldplay (Fix You)

Warning: Sensitive Subjects All Around

All I Know

By JLaLa

Chapter 12: Ignite

Months Five and Six

She didn't realize that she had been staring.

It had started slowly. The heat inside her. Over the past few weeks, a simple touch could begin the ache in her body. Then last week, he had pressed his lips against the palm of her hand and she nearly burst into flames. Now she watched him in the kitchen kneading dough and the same hands that brushed against her neck or that had held her own hand was expertly bringing the dough to submission.

He didn't realize the fire that he had ignited.

"Katniss?"

She tore her eyes away from his hands and found herself meeting his concerned blue eyes. Peeta stopped what he was doing and he wiped his hands on the dish towel beside him. Tossing it aside, he went to her.

"Are you alright?" Peeta asked and he took her hand. She nearly fell over. Katniss cursed the hormones that were running through her body. "Your cheeks are red."

"I'm fine," Katniss replied breathlessly. She could smell him. A combination of sugar and sweat. "I need you to do something for me though."

"Anything." He grinned at her roguishly.

"Kiss me," she asked him. "Then you can go back to work. I promise."

Peeta pulled her closely. Actually as close as he could with her protruding stomach in the way. This wasn't the first time that this had happened. He pressed his lips on her neck and she groaned. Next he went to her forehead grazing his lips against her warm skin and his own body began to react.

Then he traced her lips with her own and finally…ignition.

Her mouth melded onto his. Peeta could taste the cinnamon bun that she had eaten as her tongue met his. Katniss led him over to the kitchen table making him sit on one of the chairs as she straddled him. "I love you." Her lips against his ear made him grin in excitement.

In the middle of her second trimester, Katniss had finally gotten some of her hormones in control.

Well, the ones that made her throw up.

These specific hormones that caused her to attack him were the ones that neither of them wanted to control. He looked at her as she pulled away for a moment. "I love you Katniss. Especially when you attack me like this."

"Attack you?" She scoffed. "You like it."

"I do not," Peeta said which earned him a glare followed by a very thorough kiss. "I fucking love it."

With that, she pulled his shirt off and their lips met again. Her hand trailed down to the zipper of the slacks he wore and Katniss smiled into his lips. Peeta ran his hand down her back and she deepened the kiss as she reached inside for his—he suddenly remembered something.

"Do we have enough time before Arthur and your mother are here?" Peeta asked as he sucked on her earlobe.

"They're here." The couple looked up to see Suzanne and Arthur. Katniss's mother was blushing as Arthur smiled indulgently at them. Johanna who had been the one to announce their entrance simply grinned. Gale who followed behind with her mother's bags in hand looked at them exasperated.

"Again?" Gale said as he placed the bags down. Katniss gingerly removed herself off of Peeta and smoothed her shirt. "You guys do this in front of Zoe?"

"Of course not!" Peeta said as he discreetly tried to zip himself up.

"You'll do it while waiting for your mother to show up though?" Johanna responded and then sat across from Peeta. "Hey Lover Boy, got any coffee?"

"Decaf," Gale told his friend. "We're trying to cut back on caffeine."

Katniss went over to her mother. "Hey Mom," she said with a blush. "Sorry, we didn't get to meet you at the station."

Her mother hugged her. "We just happened to run across Gale and Johanna outside the station. Let me take a look at you." Katniss pulled back and she put her hands on her daughter's stomach. "You're looking wonderful. How are you feeling?"

"Feeling good," Katniss responded. "No more vomiting or random crying jags."

"Just a voracious appetite for sex," Johanna said from the table.

"Don't say that in front of my mom or Arthur!" She went to Arthur. "Hi Arthur." Katniss gave him a hug.

"It is perfectly normal for your hormones to increase, there is more blood running through your body," he told her with a soft smile. Though she hated to admit it, she had grown fond of the man. "I brought my equipment so we can check on your little one as well as Delly's."

Her mother and Arthur had come for Delly's baby shower which Hazelle had insisted on though it wasn't a custom in the Twelve. They would be there for the weekend. Her mother had slowly started to get acclimated with coming to District 12 though it was painful for her. Katniss appreciated her effort.

"Are you hungry?" she asked. "Peeta has some buns."

"Oh I bet he does," Johanna said as she ate from the bread basket in front of her.

Her mother laughed quietly. "Sure, we'll have some of Peeta's buns."

Katniss's face reddened. "Not you too."

Arthur and Suzanne joined Johanna at the table. Peeta got up to refill the basket and Gale handed Peeta his shirt. "You should probably put this on," he told his friend. "Don't want to get Katniss all hot and bothered."

Peeta put on his shirt. "Thanks," he said to Gale. "Sorry you had to see that…again."

"No problem," Gale said with an easy smile. "I'm sure you'll catch me and Jo eventually in a similar state."

"What do you mean?" Peeta turned to Johanna who was grinning from ear to ear then at Gale who nodded happily.

"Yes, I am with child," Johanna said triumphantly.

"Congratulations," Peeta said to Gale and clapped his shoulder.

Katniss burst into tears and she took her friend's hand from across the table.

"I think I liked her better all hot and bothered," Johanna said while patting her hand back.

She turned to Peeta. "Why don't you tell Suzanne and Arthur about how you told your daughter that she had an oven in her?"

Katniss managed to scowl through her tears.

++++++

"We painted it green Grandma!" Zoe was proudly showing Suzanne the nursery which she had helped her father with later that evening. "We're going to have the crib soon." She pulled her grandmother's hand to the closet door. "This is where I hung my baby's clothes."

Arthur met Katniss's eyes as they stood near the doorway. "She is enjoying being a big sister, isn't she?"

"Yes, she is enjoying HER baby," Katniss responded as she rested her hand on her belly. The little one inside her gave her a firm kick. "Zoe, the baby wants to hear you."

Zoe's eyes lit up and she rushed to her Mom's belly. Pressing her hand against it, she spoke to Katniss's stomach. "Hello baby. Grandma and Grandpa are here. You do?" She turned to Arthur and Suzanne. "The baby wants to meet you."

They smiled adoringly at Zoe's ability to communicate with the baby. The two put their hands on Katniss's belly. Suzanne's eyes filled with tears and she looked happily at Katniss. She met her mother's eyes knowing that they both felt Prim's presence in that moment.

Arthur laughed heartily feeling her stomach. "That's a strong baby you have."

"Well Peeta can lift hundred pound bags of flour," she remarked. "Genetics I guess."

"It is really remarkable that the baby can kick us both at the same time," Arthur remarked and his facial expression changed. "Have you ever thought of the possibility of twins?"

"Twins?" Her mind went into panic mode. "Where's Peeta? PEETA!" She called out and Katniss could hear his quick footsteps coming up the stairs. His prosthetic prevented him from fully running.

He arrived at the doorway panting and red in the face. "What's going on?"

"Twins," she squeaked out. Peeta looked at her confused until he looked down at her stomach.

"What?" His eyes flashed in shock.

"Everyone settle down," Suzanne said. "It was only a suggestion." She turned to Arthur. "Why don't you grab the machine so that we could calm them down?"

Arthur went to retrieve the machine and Suzanne led her daughter to the nearby rocking chair. Zoe and Peeta followed her closely. Zoe went to her mother.

"What's wrong Mommy?" She placed a hand on Katniss's stomach. "Is the baby okay?"

"Yes, darling," she said calming herself for Zoe's sake.

Arthur returned carrying the machine. It had small screen with a handle at the top and a long cord that was connected to a scanner. He knelt before Katniss and went into Doctor mode.

"Let's check this baby out," he said. "I guess that tomorrow wasn't soon enough for this little one." He pulled out the tube of gel. "Why don't you lift your shirt so we can get a look at your stomach?" Katniss lifted her shirt over her belly.

The skin was stretched so that it had a sheen. Peeta was fascinated. He had never gotten a close look at Katniss's stomach as she was so shy when she had been pregnant with Zoe or even when they made love. Arthur put some of the gel on her stomach and Katniss's mom turned on the machine.

"This is called an ultrasound machine," she explained. "They are usually bigger but this one was used during military missions and was donated by a former General." Zoe looked at it in fascination kneeling to look at the screen on the floor.

"Now let's take a look," Arthur said and place the scanner over her stomach. He looked around and Peeta watched the screen trying to decipher the shapes in it. "Heart and lungs look good." He turned a switch and a loud swooshing sound filled the room. "It sounds like there is only one in there and he is looking healthy."

"Oh thanks goodness," Katniss said in relief then her eyes widened. "You said he." She turned to Peeta with a smile. "I told you that it was a boy. Look at your son."

Peeta looked at the screen and Arthur moved the scanner to show the head of the little boy. He traced the outline of his profile. Tears filled his eyes and when he met Katniss's, he kissed her hand tenderly.

"This is my brother?" Zoe looked at the screen with a furrowed brow. "It looks like a blob."

"This is a transmitted image Zoe," Arthur said to her. "I will show you. Come here." Zoe went over to him and he placed her hand over his as he moved the scanner. "The sound waves create an image for you to see. This is not really how your brother looks like."

"I can see his little heart," Zoe said as she looked at screen. She was enthralled by the magic of the machine in front of her.

Arthur turned to them. "I think you might have a future Doctor in the midst."

"I wouldn't doubt it," Suzanne said to him. "I think she has a little bit of Primrose in her."

"I think she must have more than a little," Katniss said. Her daughter was open, loving, and optimistic. All the things that Katniss never was as a kid.

Peeta pulled her out of her reverie. "You okay?"

"Yes," she told him amazed as she looked backed at the screen. "A little boy like in my dream."

"I can see them dancing in the field already," Peeta whispered in her ear.

++++++

"Thanks for helping with all of this," Delly said as she frosted a cake. "Rory has been assignment for the last two weeks. With the baby coming soon, we need all the paternity time we could get."

"It's no problem," Peeta said as he pulled out another tray of cookies out of the oven and placed it on a cooling rack on the kitchen island.

"Of course he has no problem," Katniss grumbled though she was smiling. "He has his own baking crew. I'll never get this." She was cutting shapes of ducks into the cookie dough. "They're coming out with no heads."

Peeta came up behind her and took her hand. "You need a firmer grip on it."

She looked up at him. "You didn't say that this morning," she said quietly only so that he could hear. Peeta moved closer to hide his reaction to her statement and Katniss grinned cheekily.

Taking her hand, he showed her how to push the cutter and twist it slightly to loosen the shape. They did the first one together and he helped her pull the fully formed shape before putting it on a cookie sheet.

"There you go," Peeta said and gave her a congratulatory kiss.

"I like seeing you two together," Delly said suddenly as she watched the couple. "It makes me feel like the Rebellion didn't destroy us. We are still here together." A knock on the door interrupted her and she wiped her eyes quickly. "I'll go see who it is."

"I like seeing us together too," Peeta said as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the side of her head. He looked into her eyes. "Are you happy?"

"Yes," she told him truthfully and their lips met again.

"Katniss!" Delly and Suzanne entered the room. The pregnant woman's face was pale. "We have to go next door."

"What's wrong?" Peeta pulled away from Katniss.

"It's Johanna."

++++++

When they arrived at the bedroom door, they were greeted by Arthur. He had a grim look on his face.

"I'm sorry," he told them. "There was nothing I could do." His eyes were sad. "We did the ultrasound. There was no heartbeat. I'll have to make a call to the clinic for the shot." Arthur looked over at Katniss and Peeta. "I'm going to try to make this as easy as I can for them."

"What are you going to do?" Peeta asked quietly.

"The shot that I'm getting will cause a forced evacuation in her uterus. It's the easiest. There will be some bleeding and cramping but there is no need to bring in her into a clinic," Arthur said. "You should go in and see them."

"I'm going to go talk to Hazelle and cancel the party," Delly said. "I should also call Rory. You guys go and check on them."

"I'll go with you," Suzanne told her. "She might have questions."

Arthur nodded and then knocked on the door quietly. After a moment, Gale opened the door and Katniss could see that he had shut down. She had known him long enough that she could read his eyes like an open book.

"Hey guys," he said quietly and widened the door. Johanna sat at the window looking out and when she turned, her eyes were blank. She hugged a pillow close to her chest before turning back to look out.

Peeta went to Gale. "I'm sorry," he told his friend.

"It just wasn't meant to be," Gale responded with a tremble in his voice. He looked over at Johanna for a moment.

Peeta squeezed his shoulder. He felt so helpless. He didn't know Gale as well as Katniss but he had started to think of Gale as his friend and comrade. The man looked lost as he tried to be strong for Johanna. Peeta could tell that he was on the verge of breaking down.

"This time it wasn't," Arthur said kindly. "There will be other chances. You are both young and can go on to have a successful pregnancy."

Johanna pulled the pillow even tighter to herself.

"I will let you guys have some time together." Arthur closed the door behind him.

Katniss went over to Johanna joining her at the window. Johanna met her eyes and Katniss could see the buried pain inside her and she knew that her friend wouldn't let herself cry. Right now, she was just a vessel holding something no longer living.

Words were meaningless now.

Instead Katniss pulled her friend up and led her to the bed. Johanna still clung to the pillow as she laid down to her side not facing anyone. She felt the bed creak as Katniss lay next to her and pulled her close. Johanna felt her insides clench as her back pressed against her friend's swollen belly.

What could have been.

Katniss knew her enough to know that she didn't want to talk or cry. She just wanted to be. Gale and Peeta sat at the edge of the bed. He patted Gale's back as the man rested his head in his hands.

Johanna turned to Katniss. "I can't go to the party," she said and her voice was hoarse as if she had been screaming.

"It's okay." Katniss smoothed her friend's hair. "They're going to cancel." She took her friend's hand. "Rest now."

Nobody knew how long they remained in the room until Arthur came back to tell them that it was time to pick up Zoe.

++++++

"I don't understand," Zoe said with a deep frown. "Why did the baby go away?"

"Sometimes it just happens," Peeta told her. "There's no reason for it."

"Where did the baby go?" Katniss looked at Zoe who sat in-between them on the couch. After dinner, they had sat her down to explain what happened to her Aunt.

"To the sky I suppose like your Grandpa Haymitch," she said after a moment.

"I'm starting to not like the sky." Zoe's eyes were clouded with confusion. Death was hard to explain to any child but miscarriage was just as difficult.

"Me neither," Peeta agreed.

"We have to be strong for your Aunt Johanna." Katniss leaned back and her daughter curled into her body. "She needs us."

"Will she have another baby?"

"Maybe." She kissed the little girl's head and looked at Peeta. "It is painful to lose anyone and one day she might have another baby. Or she might not. For now, we will just let her be."

"I'm going to draw a picture for her." The little girl stood up. "Do you think that she will like it?"

"She will love it," Peeta told her. "Why don't you go upstairs and work on it before bed?"

Zoe nodded and climbed the stairs leaving her parents alone. Katniss put her feet on Peeta's lap and he started to knead her sore muscles. This pregnancy had made her gain weight easily. During Zoe's pregnancy, she barely ate anything and it had left her poor body undernourished.

She looked over at him reflecting on the luckiness she felt. He had stood by her through it all.

"What would have happened if I had miscarried Zoe?" He turned to her in confusion. "Do you think that I would have still taken off?"

Peeta studied her for a moment. "You were very unhappy then. I don't know what either one of us would have done. I do know that I would have searched for you if I hadn't been with Zoe. I never let you go. Not since the first day I saw you."

"It's not fair that you have always loved me while it took me a lifetime to realize my feelings," she told him. "You deserve better."

"I deserve you because you are the best." Peeta looked at her with serious eyes. "I'm yours whether you like it or not."

She brought her legs back to the floor and stood up. Going over to him, she nodded her head towards the stairs. "Let's go to bed."

Peeta stood up slowly and they walked up together. They separated as Peeta went to check on Zoe and tuck her in. Katniss walked to their room and slipped into bed. A few minutes later, Peeta entered and closed the door quietly behind him. "She passed out while she was drawing so I just put her in her pajamas then tucked her in."

"Come to bed Peeta." Her voice cut into the quiet room and he approached her. Her grey eyes followed him as he slipped in next to her. It had been the first night in the past few weeks where she did not feel the urge to strip him bare. She needed something else. "Can you just hold me?"

Peeta laid down fully and he pulled her over gently so that she was pressed against his body. She put a hand on his chest and settled her head in the crook where his arm met his body. He unraveled her braid with his fingers as he had done many times and she loved the familiarity of his fingers in her hair. It relaxed her and she sighed against his chest.

In his mind, he pictured lying with her in the same bed as they continued to grow with another. They would raise their children and watch them create their own families. They would do it all together.

As what however? Then he knew what he had known all along.

"Marry me Katniss." It came out in a longing whisper.

She was silent and when he looked down he saw that Katniss was fast asleep. Her breathing was slow and he could see her dark lashes standing out against her delicate profile. That was what he loved about her. Katniss was delicate in so many ways yet her spirit was strong like a warrior. He had seen it when they had fought for their lives in the Games but he had also seen her fragility when she buried Rue.

Seeing his friends suffer made him appreciate what he had in front of him. He hoped that they could find their own peace. Peeta knew that what he had did not come easy. The relationship he shared with Katniss had come after years of turmoil and anger. He would never take that for granted and if he had to wait another four to five years, he would just to have Katniss as his wife.

++++++

They called it the dark day.

Arthur asked that they didn't come until the afternoon. The procedure would be done in the morning. They would have to observe how her body reacted to the shot and as he had told them yesterday it would not be an easy thing to watch. Suzanne as her nurse would make sure that the appropriate pain medications would be administered afterwards.

Katniss strummed her fingers on the table that morning. Peeta sat next to her sipping his coffee. The breakfast he had made remained untouched as they both had no appetite. That morning they had both hugged Zoe numerous times before dropping her off.

She instinctively caressed her belly and their baby responded excitedly. She wished that Johanna would be able to experience it one day but she knew that her friend had already been through so much in her life. It was difficult enough for Johanna to have let Gale in.

Her other friend remained blank. It was his way. She knew however that he was probably screaming on the inside. They were so alike when it came to harboring their emotions. She worried for him also.

"Do you think that everything is going okay?" Peeta's voice interrupted her conversation with herself.

"I suppose so," she replied and reached over to take his hand.

There was a knock on the door and they both raced towards in fear that something had happened to their friend. When Katniss opened it, she found her mother on the other side.

"Is Johanna okay?" she asked.

Her mother nodded looking sad and tired. "She reacted quickly and the pain didn't last too long."

"How is she doing?" Peeta asked.

"She hasn't said a word which we know is not very like her. Arthur suggested that she eat a little protein to gain some strength and Gale insisted on going to get it," her mother said. "He hasn't been back in awhile. I think you guys should go over there."

They both nodded putting their shoes on. Suddenly Peeta turned to her.

"You should go look for Gale," he said to her. "I think you know him enough to know where you might find him. Better than me anyway."

"What about Johanna?"

"I will check on her," Peeta replied and kissed her forehead. "He needs you more right now."

"Are you sure?" She wasn't sure if it was best for her to try to take care of a very emotional Gale. Part of her worried that he might get a little too emotional with her. Katniss thought of the last time they had been together alone and overwrought with feelings. She didn't really feel like dealing with that.

"I trust you," he told her. "You can handle him." Peeta brushed his lips with hers. "I love you."

She nodded and took his face in her hands giving him one more kiss. "Take care of Johanna."

"I'll see you in a bit," he said and followed her mother into the other house.

++++++

Katniss didn't need to think about where she might find Gale because something in her already knew. She went over to where she had kept her bow and arrows at one time and found it empty. He had taken the other set so she at least knew that he was hunting.

She remembered their conversation that fateful Reaping Day when he had asked her to run away. Katniss knew that she would have never done it. They had too many obligations.

She walked a little further and saw him sitting on a log with his head bowed. The sound of her footsteps against the hard ground made him snap his head up.

"You're not as quiet now," he told her. "You must be getting that from Peeta." Gale smile wryly at her.

"He was never meant to be the hunter in the family," Katniss replied as she sat next to him. "Plus I've gotten a little heavier."

"You're not heavy." Gale stood up and stuck his hand out so he could help her up. "You're having a…baby." His face fell.

"I thought you were supposed to be hunting," she said to him.

"I was."

"I don't see any kill with you," Katniss pointed out.

"Why are you here?" Gale turned to her suddenly with anger in his eyes. "I think Peeta would be a little concerned, wouldn't he?"

"He has no reason to be," she replied easily. "He trusts me."

"Does he trust me?"

"You haven't given him any reason not to." She met his eyes. "Why are you here?"

"To hunt." Katniss could see though his lie easily.

"Then you should be done by now Gale." She stepped up to him. "Johanna is waiting for you."

"Fine, help me out then," he snapped.

Katniss growled at him and picked up a rock. She looked around quietly before throwing it against a tree. The sound caused a flock to fly out of the trees and Gale shot quickly hitting all his intended targets.

The rush of a good hunt went through her and she look over at him. He was crying. "Oh Gale."

"Dead," he said quietly. "It didn't even have a chance." Katniss realized that he wasn't talking about the birds. "Today, I watched Johanna lose our baby. I watched her hold her stomach in pain and she didn't say a word. She didn't cry out. Nothing. I wanted to scream for her. I wanted to cry for her and it was the first time in a long time that I didn't have control."

"Here's your chance," she told him. "Let it out." Gale shook his head. "Do it."

"No."

"Why? You're no good to Johanna like this!"

He turned to her suddenly. "I am no good to her! She hasn't spoken to me in two days. Our baby died and she can't even look at me." Tears fell from his face. "What can I do to make her look at me?"

Gale pressed his hands into a tree and his head fell forward. Katniss watched his shoulders shaking in sobs and she walked over to him putting a hand on his shoulder. "Johanna is the kind of person who doesn't like people to see her pain. She doesn't want to look weak. I think I know a little bit about that." He turned to her with watery eyes. "Most of all, she is disappointed because she wanted to give you a baby."

"How could she be disappointed in herself? She is perfect. Johanna is strong and beautiful. I'm just some kid from the Seam."

"I'm just some kid from the Seam too," she replied with a smile then looked down at her stomach. "Well maybe not much of a kid." They laughed quietly together. "Johanna chose you. Don't take that for granted."

Gale nodded. "Can you give me some time alone? I'll be back soon, I promise."

"Okay." She looked over to where he had shot the birds. "Why don't you grab what you shot for me? I will bring it back and try to get her to eat."

He went to where he saw the birds fall and returned moments later with four good size birds. "Do you need help back?"

Katniss shook her head. "I'll manage." She tossed them easily over her shoulder. "Don't take too long and at least get some flowers for her."

"You're schooling me on romance Catnip?"

"Well, I am half of 'The Star-Crossed lovers of District Twelve', aren't I?" She smirked at him.

"Yeah, the shitty half." She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Ouch," she said in mock pain. "Come back soon or I'm getting Zoe to come get you."

"Okay." He waved her off and Katniss began to walk away. "Catnip?" She turned around. "Thanks. Don't take Peeta for granted either. He's the one you can't survive without."

"I know."

++++++

Peeta knocked on Johanna's door. When there was no response, he opened the door slowly. She was sitting on the bed holding a pillow against her chest. Her hair was tied back and she was wearing pajamas. Her face was colorless from the loss of blood and stress. She looked up at him when he walked in and her brown eyes were dull.

"What do you want?" Her voice was sharp.

"To check on you," he told her and sat near her on the bed. "How are you?"

"How do you think I am Peeta?" She replied angrily. "I just bled a baby out." Johanna got up slowly and went to the window. "Gale is gone." He saw her eyes close in pain. "Everything I love is taken away."

"That's not true," he said. "He went to go hunting. For you. Katniss is getting him right now."

"I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't come back."

"Cry." Johanna whipped around.

"What?" She went over to him. "I'm over it. I'm okay."

"You're not," he said to her. "You won't be until you let it out. Cry."

"I don't cry." Johanna stood close to him and he could see her eyes were hard. He could also see how she wounded she was. Her body was tense and he could see her clenching her fists tightly.

"That's not true," Peeta told her. "When we were in our cells in the Capitol, you cried."

"I did not." Johanna looked away. She sat at the edge of the bed and he joined her. "I had no one to cry over."

"You cried for your mom," he told her. "In-between tortures when we weren't screaming for mercy."

"I barely remember her." It came out in a whisper. "How can I cry over someone I didn't even know?"

"Because you love." Peeta looked at her. "You wouldn't want to cry over a baby you barely knew if you didn't."

"It was just a speck really." Johanna grabbed a pillow that was close and placed it over her body. "It was my job to protect it and I couldn't do it."

"Cry," he told her slowly. She shook her head but he could tell that she was breaking. He took a fist and unclenched her fingers one by one just as she had done for him. He did the same for the other hand and when he finished a teardrop hit her palm.

Her face crumbled into a silent sob following by a strangled cry and Peeta pulled her into a brotherly hug. "Why?" It came out in her jumbled cries and he had no answers for her.

"I don't know," Peeta said quietly as he let her cry it out. "You will have your baby one day."

"Gale hasn't talk to me since we found out," she said through her sobs. "I failed."

"It just wasn't your time." He put an arm around her. "He loves you. I see the way he looks at you."

"How is that?" Johanna wiped her eyes and looked at him.

"Like he can't believe that you love him." Peeta smiled at her. "You are so lucky to have each other because it means that the war didn't stop us from living and loving. It didn't stop us from creating life and it won't stop us all from trying to create it."

"Well it didn't stop you." Her mouth fell into an easy grin. "What do I do about Gale?"

"You let him know that you're here," he said. "And that no matter what, you're never going away."

++++++

The sky was dark when he returned. Gale thought that she might be asleep. His mind ached with weariness. As he approached the house, Gale was surprised to see that the light of their bedroom was still on. Walking closer, he saw that Johanna was looking out for him and he felt himself relax.

Gale realized that wherever she was, he was home. She was his beacon.

Nearing the house, the door opened and Johanna walked out. She was pale and her eyes were red. Her pajamas engulfed her body and she was barefoot.

She was beautiful.

"I was worried," Johanna told him. "You told Katniss that you would be back before dark."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I passed out for a bit and I was going to make you a bouquet but I was never good at picking out flowers. I did bring this." He held a daisy out for her and she took him tentatively placing it behind her ear. "Are you okay? Should you be walking around like this?"

She nodded. "I missed you while I was gone." Gale nodded understandingly.

"I missed you too," he replied and picked her up so that he was carrying her bridal style. "You need to be off your feet."

He walked into the house with her and kicked the door close. Quickly he walked up the stairs and when they were in the room, Gale placed her gently on the bed. Johanna went under the covers as Gale turned off the light. The light of the moon was the only thing illuminating the room and he climbed into the covers.

They stared at one another. "We will have our baby one day," he promised her. "We will have ten children if you want."

"Ten?" Johanna said with a quiet laugh. "Maybe more like five."

"Doesn't matter to me," he said. "Just as long as you're with me wiping their noses and persuading them to do their chores."

"They sound like a charming bunch." He took her hand and kissed it.

"But they'll be ours," Gale told her and he kissed her lips softly. "Get some rest and everything will be alright in the morning."

++++++

Katniss smiled as she watched her two friends reunite from the window. The baby in her stomach moved inside her. Today, it would be six months officially. She was three months to having her second baby. It gave her another hard kick and she laughed to herself.

"Yes baby, you have officially spent six months in my body." Katniss rubbed her stomach and it quieted. "In three months you will be out."

In three months, there would be another Baby Mellark.

Katniss realized that besides her mother, she was the last of the Everdeens. It didn't seem to make her sad. She had her father's spirit and the memory of Prim's face. It was enough for her.

Looking over at Peeta's sleeping form; she saw his bare chest rise and fall as he shifted in a deep slumber. She had worn him out. Peeta always slept better after they made love.

However, their baby would protest at the activity thus the reason for her being awake.

There were other reasons for her being wide awake. More and more, she started to realize that there was something shifting inside her besides the baby. It was the thought in her head of being the only one who wasn't a Mellark in the house.

On further thought, it wasn't that she was upset about being the last Everdeen; it was more that she was the only one whose last name wasn't Mellark.

The only way for that to change was for her to marry Peeta.

Did she want that?

Joining Peeta in bed, she looked over at him. She saw them growing old together and watching their children grow up in this house. That life didn't sound so scary when she thought about it.

So yes. She wanted to be his.

Katniss whispered it quietly knowing that he wouldn't hear it. "Will you marry me Peeta?"

Their baby kicked in response.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Miscarriage is a hot topic for me. It is one of those moments where you see the strength in your relationships, both your romantic and friendly ones. It was hard to write.

I hope that you aren't mad that Johanna lost the baby but I wanted to leave you with hope that this will be addressed again in the epilogue. I also wanted to explore the relationship between Gale and Johanna because if there could be a fourth book, I think that the author would have put them together.

There are only two more chapters left to the story and then the epilogue. It will be a long one. Are you excited? Upset?

Thank you for all your reviews and messages. I am trying to e-mail people back quickly but in-between work and just life, it gets kind of cray-cray.

Reviews mean love! Alerts, messages, and alerts are always welcome.

My next story which is the AU will be more chapters but possibly shorter ones.

Thank you again!

-JLaLa


	13. Tear Me Down

The Hunger Games Trilogy does not belong to me.

You can take everything I have  
You can break everything I am  
Like I'm made of glass  
Like I'm made of paper  
Go on and try to tear me down  
I will be rising from the ground  
Like a skyscraper…

-Demi Lovato (Skyscraper)

Italics=Dreams

All I Know

By JLaLa

Chapter Thirteen: Tear Me Down

Months Seven and Eight

Peeta knew that he would have to have this conversation eventually.

With the arrival of Delly and Rory's baby, Arthur and Suzanne realized that Katniss was also rounding the bend on her pregnancy. She was now coming towards the end of her seventh month and the baby was already facing down. It was a good indicator that the baby could come sooner than they thought. Katniss had also gained more weight from this pregnancy and Arthur believed that the baby might be eight or nine pounds when he looked at the last sonogram.

He wanted to marry Katniss but Peeta needed to make sure that everyone kept his secret.

That day, he sat with Suzanne and Arthur and he nervously wrung his hands. He was about five years and seven months too late but it was better late than never.

Fortunately Peeta didn't have to make a big speech.

"You want to marry Katniss, don't you?" Suzanne said as she watched him fondly. She looked at Arthur who put an arm around her supportively.

"How did you know?"

"Katniss is about to give birth to your second child," she replied with a smile. "You've been in love with her since you were five. Why wouldn't you want to marry her?"

"So you're okay with me proposing to her?" Peeta's mouth fell into a grin.

"Of course!" She took Peeta's hand. "You've both taken care of one another for as long as I could remember. I just want my daughter to be happy and I think that she is happy with you." Tears fell from her eyes. "I know I haven't been the best mother to her but as a parent you always want your child to have the best. You will be the best husband for her. I know it."

"Thank you Suzanne." Kissing her cheek, he turned to Arthur. "What do you think?"

"I'm not sure that I have a say in this," Arthur said honestly. "I'm not her father but I know you will make her happy. We will always support whatever decisions you both make."

"Where is Katniss anyway?" Her mother asked. "I'm assuming you want it to be a surprise."

Peeta nodded. "She and Zoe are asleep. The baby has been really active at night so she's been napping with her."

The door opened and Gale entered along with Johanna. Delly and Rory followed in with their daughter in Rory's arms. Amaya was born two weeks ago during a rainy night. Rory had come banging on their door drenched and muddy as the evening came. Arthur and Suzanne had left the Johanna and Gale's home in a rush and two hours later, their daughter had entered the world quietly.

"Hey guys," Peeta said. "What's going on?"

"Amaya needs her follow-up," Delly said. Peeta couldn't help but be happy for his friend. She looked immensely happy. Rory guarded his little daughter protectively.

Peeta went over to his friend and kissed her cheek. Then he went to Rory and looked at Amaya. Her hair was bright like Delly's but when she opened her eyes they were a steel grey. Her tiny lips formed a yawn and she closed her eyes again.

"Where's Katniss?" Johanna asked. She looked tired as the events of the past few weeks had left emotionally drained.

Peeta nodded his head towards the stairs. "I'll show you," he said. Johanna followed him. "How are you?" They walked up the stairs quietly.

"As good as I can be," Johanna replied. "Some days are hard but Gale has been really taking care of me." The miscarriage had brought out a different side of her. A sadder, quieter side that grew from the pain.

He knew that it might take some time for her to go back to her old self. Peeta saw the bits of her old self coming back over the past few days however.

"I'm going to ask Katniss to marry me," he told her quietly as they reached the top of the stairs.

Johanna grinned at him. "Well it's about damn time. Baby Number Two is already waiting to get out." She hugged him. "Congratulations Lover Boy."

"When are you and Gale going to get married?" he asked with an easy smile.

"Gale and I are perfectly happy to be living in sin," she replied with a smirk. "Makes all the sinful things we do not as bad."

They laughed as they approached the door and he put his index finger to his mouth. He opened the door quietly so that they could look in.

Johanna and Peeta peered in to see mother and daughter fast asleep on Zoe's bed. They both had the arms across their stomachs while their other arms were over their heads.

They also had both of their mouths opened and were snoring quietly.

Johanna giggled softly and looked over at Peeta. "That's your future wife."

"I know," Peeta replied with a chuckle. "Isn't she beautiful?"

Katniss snorted in her sleep.

++++++

Zoe walked through the schoolyard clutching the straps of her backpack. Her Daddy had just dropped her off and promised that he would take her to see Miss Posy after school to help make a cake for Mommy. Mommy and her baby liked to eat cake so he always made sure there was one readily available for her.

She was thinking about what colors to use for the picture she planned to draw in class when a shadow crossed her path. Zoe looked up to see Caleb, the boy who had called her a bad word. He sneered at her and she tightened her grip on her backpack straps.

"Well if it isn't the Princess of District Twelve," he said to her. The blond boy towered over her small frame yet she held her head high. Her Mommy told her that she had nothing to be ashamed of. She was the daughter of the Two Victors of the Hunger Games. She wasn't sure what the Games were but it made her feel proud for some reason.

"Leave me alone," she said quietly.

Caleb laughed and then looked around. "Who's going to stop me? I don't see your baker dad or your slut mother here. I don't even see your crazy Aunt. Nobody is here to hear you." He walked towards her and she backed away. "I don't appreciate you using your family to try to scare me. I ain't scare of them but you should definitely be scared of me."

"Stop." Zoe didn't realize that tears were running down her cheeks until he flicked her face. She could see her tears against his finger. "I will tell on you."

"Listen here you little slut," Caleb hissed. "You say one word and no matter what I will get you." He had backed her into a tree. "You will have to watch your back everywhere you go. Or maybe I'll take it out on that loser baby that your mom has in her stomach."

Zoe's eyes widened in fear. "Please don't." She shook horribly in fear. "I promise I won't tell. I'll do what you want."

Caleb gave her a malicious grin. "Disappear. If you come back than I will make sure that you always live in fear. I'll always be watching you."

With that, he backed off her small form and turned to go into the school building. Zoe was gasping for air and she wiped her nose. She could feel her eyes watering again. She didn't want to disappear! She wanted to stay with Daddy and Mommy! Her little brother depended on her to protect him and Caleb said he would hurt him. A baby couldn't defend itself!

Suddenly she was running away from the schoolhouse. Zoe didn't notice the shuffling in the tree she stood by or the person who jumped from it.

A little girl with dark hair followed her running form with her haunted brown eyes.

Zoe didn't realize that she had run into the deep forest until she recognized the log that her and her parents would sit on. She was tired. Sitting on the log, Zoe let herself cry. Her Mommy knew how to survive in the woods but she hadn't taught Zoe how to hunt yet.

She looked to the sky and remembered that Grandpa Haymitch lived there. So did Aunt Prim and Miss Rue. They would take care of her!

She just needed to find a tree high enough to reach the sky.

Leaving her backpack by the log, she went in search of the perfect tree. Walking a few paces, she made a turn and caught sight of the perfect one. It was taller than the rest and had enough branches for her to climb up like a stairway. She reached for the first branch and hoisted herself easily.

Her Daddy had told her that she was like her Mommy when it came to climbing. She looked up intent on her reaching her goal. She failed to see how high she already was or how weak some of the branches were.

When she reached for another branch, it snapped quickly and Zoe struggled to catch another branch as she fell. Catching one as she went down, she screamed.

"HELP!" Zoe looked down and realized that she was very high up in the air.

Whimpering, she saw that there was another branch that she could stand on. Zoe just needed to reach it. She moved her hands slowly so that she was closer to it and then with all her might she swung her legs.

Crack!

Zoe felt her stomach drop as she fell through the air and then a blinding pain as she hit the ground.

Mommy…

Then the darkness took over.

++++++

_"Mommy…"_

Katniss sat up quickly as she heard the tiny voice calling her. The baby was kicking her frantically and her heart was racing. Something was wrong; she could feel it in her bones.

Standing up slowly, she walked over to the window and saw that Peeta was walking back to the house. He grinned jovially when he saw her at the window and she returned with a weak smile. Why was she feeling like this?

The front door opened and Peeta walked in. "Hey gorgeous," he greeted Katniss and kissed her squarely on the lips. He saw the frown on her face. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know why but I feel like something is wrong," she told him and he took her hand.

"Katniss, we're okay," he assured her and kissed the hand he was holding. "If anything is going wrong than we'll fix it-together."

She nodded though he could tell that she unconvinced. "Okay. Is it time to get Zoe?"

"Yes and she was very happy about getting to make a cake for you." They went to the door and were surprised that the sky was suddenly grey. "I'll grab an umbrella." He went back inside leaving her outside to look out at the angry clouds.

It didn't help her feeling of dread and Katniss felt a chill go through her.

_"Mommy…"_

"Katniss?" She turned to see Peeta staring at her. "You were out of it for a bit."

"Sorry," she said. Katniss worried that she was hearing voices calling her. Was she was starting to lose it? She figured that it might have been her lack of sleep. "Let's go."

As they walked off the porch, Johanna and Gale were also exiting their house. "Hey Peeta. Hey Catnip." The other couple joined them. "Are you guys picking up Zoe?"

"Yeah, then we're going to the bakery," Katniss said as Johanna went to her. She linked arms with her friend and Johanna opened the umbrella she held.

"How are you feeling?" Johanna asked with a soft smile.

"I'm okay," she said. "I woke up from their weird dream and now I can't seem to shake it."

"Well, we were on our way to the bakery also. I'll treat you to a cookie." The women walked under the umbrella while their partners walked behind.

"I think since Peeta owns the bakery I can get as many cookies as I want," she told her with a laugh.

As they approached the school, they saw that Miss Thirby was outside looking around frantically and when she saw them she rushed over.

"Mr. Mellark! I tried calling your bakery and the house! Zoe has been missing since the afternoon break!"

"What do you mean she's missing?" Peeta said with fear in his voice. Katniss went to his side and she realized what the feeling of dread was.

"When the bell rang, I went to gather the art supplies for drawings," the woman said in a shaky voice. "As I was passing them out, I noticed that she was gone and no one knew where she went. I went to other classes to check if she had gone in with one of her friends but she wasn't there."

"Oh God." Katniss looked around anxiously. "Where is our daughter?"

Gale and Johanna began to scout the area as the other schoolchildren walked around them.

"Call Principal Hawthorne," Peeta told the woman sternly.

"Yes." The woman nodded. "I think she is still in her office right now." Miss Thirby ran into the building.

Peeta's eyes roamed around and suddenly he spotted the blond head of the boy who had harassed their daughter. His feet shot forward and before any of them could stop him, he had lifted the boy and pinned him against a tree. "Where is my daughter? What did you do to her?"

The boy tried to get free though Peeta had firm grip on his neck. Gale and Johanna pulled Peeta from the boy and they held his arms. "You little prick. Tell me where my daughter is." Peeta's eyes were full of rage and Katniss stood by trying not to fall apart. Their daughter could be anywhere.

"Peeta!" Delly was rushing towards them. "What is going on?" Her face was red from the run.

"He knows where Zoe is," Peeta explained. "I want him expelled. He's been harassing her for weeks!"

Delly turned to Miss Thirby. "Is this true?"

"Yes ma'am." Her eyes were full of shame. "I thought that it had stopped. Zoe's behavior had finally improved and Dr. Lawrence said that she was making great progress when I spoke to him last week." She turned to the parents. "I'm so sorry. I should have kept a better eye on her!" The woman's eyes filled with tears.

"You leave the punishment to me Peeta," Delly told him. "Caleb, do you know where Zoe is?"

The boy shook his head in fear. "I didn't do anything. You are all crazy." His eyes said something else.

"He's lying."

They turned to see a young girl who was about Zoe's age. She had dark hair and olive skin. She was also tiny just like Zoe. The big difference was while Zoe's blue eyes were always full of excitement; this girl's eyes were a dark brown and full of seriousness. She seemed much older.

"Anastasia, have you seen Zoe?" Delly asked.

The girl nodded. "That boy threatened her. He said that he would always watch her and if she didn't go away than he would go after her baby brother."

Katniss went to her and her eyes were full of tears. "Did you see where she went?"

Anastasia pointed at the direction of the woods. "She went that way."

"Thank you," Peeta said to the girl. He turned to Gale and Johanna. "You should go ahead and we'll catch up in a few minutes." Katniss was a lot slower and time was not on their side. He looked to Delly. "Call Suzanne and Arthur in case. They're at Gale and Johanna's place."

Gale and Johanna started for the woods and as they ran, Gale turned back to see the sad chocolate eyes of Anastasia watching them leave.

++++++

Johanna and Gale crawled under the fence and looked out at the vast forest ahead of them. They had no idea where to start and the rain had made the ground slippery. If she was there than a number of things could have happened to her.

"Wait!" The couple turned to see Katniss and Peeta coming towards the fence. "There's a log where we go sit sometimes with her." Katniss let the tears fall from her face. She turned to Gale. "It's close to where we keep the spare bow and arrows."

Gale nodded. "Okay, I know where that is."

Peeta put an arm around Katniss and his own eyes were brimming with tears. He knew that Katniss wanted badly to go into the woods. She knew the place better than all of them but she couldn't fit under the fencing with her swollen belly.

"We'll find her," Johanna assured them. "I promise."

Katniss and Johanna looked at one another for a moment. Their hands reached through the fencing and Johanna could see the plea in her friend's eyes.

She wouldn't let her down.

Johanna caught up with Gale and they walked deeper into the woods. She turned to see nothing but forest all around her. Her boyfriend surveyed the area trying to see any disturbances that might indicate that the little girl had been around. The two made a turn and found themselves at a prone log.

"Look." Johanna went to the small backpack and opened it. "It's Zoe's."

Gale cupped his hands and put them to his mouth. "ZOE!"

Nothing.

Only silence.

Johanna picked up the bag. "Let's keep going."

As they headed further in, Johanna caught it at the corner of her eyes. An olive green jacket. The same one that she had seen Zoe wear when they had first come to District Twelve.

She froze because coming out of a sleeve was a tiny hand.

"Gale." Her voice came out in a croak. "I found her."

Walking over quietly, Johanna looked down at the limp body of the little girl. Zoe was soaked and her hair was matted to her face. Johanna fell to her knees. "Zoe…"

Gale was behind her. "Shit. Is she…?" He couldn't say the words and Gale felt the lump forming in his throat.

Johanna carefully took her wrist and felt for a pulse. It was there but just barely.

"She's alive," she said in relief and carefully touched the girl's head. Johanna felt something sticky and when she pulled back her hand it was dark red with blood.

Johanna gasped and turned to Gale. "Get help! GO!"

Gale rushed away to informed the others that they had found the little girl and that she needed medical attention.

Johanna carefully checked for any injuries avoiding the head and neck area. She placed Zoe's limbs against her body so that she could be lifted carefully when the time came.

Tears burned her eyes as Johanna looked down at Zoe. She caressed her head softly. "Zoe. Stay with us darling. Stay with us, please." Her mind went to a tune that her mother used to sing to her before she went to bed. She began to hum it quietly.

Maybe Zoe would hear it and come back from wherever she was.

++++++

_The light was bright._

_So bright that Zoe had to shield her eyes. Where was she?_

_Zoe hoped that her Mommy and Daddy weren't too worried. Caleb scared her and for now she needed to hide until everything was okay._

_As her eyes adjusted, Zoe saw a figure approach her. It seems to materialize from the bright mist around her and as it got closer it became solid. The figure was a girl with big brown eyes and beautiful brown skin. She smiled at Zoe._

_"Hello Zoe." Her voice was like a bell, melodic._

_"Hi Miss Rue," she greeted. "Will you take me somewhere safe?"_

_Rue took her hand and Zoe liked how warm it was. She didn't feel scared and her mind seemed to forget that her Mommy and Daddy were probably worried._

_"For now," Rue told her. "There are a few people who want to see you."_

_"Who?"_

_"People like me. People who watch over you, your Mommy and your Daddy." Rue tugged at her hand gently. "We shouldn't keep them waiting."_

_Together they walked further into the mist._

++++++

Katniss waited outside the door. Peeta and Gale had retrieve Zoe from the woods on a makeshift stretcher. Peeta's face was pale and the tears ran down his face as they emerged from the forest. The first glimpse of her lifeless, bloody daughter was something that would forever be engraved in her mind.

She gasped feeling the baby inside her kick and her hand protectively grasped her stomach. Katniss felt an arm drape over her shoulder and turned to see Peeta. His eyes were bloodshot.

"Are you okay?" His voice was hoarse.

She shook her head. "No."

"Delly expelled Caleb," he told her. "He had already been complained about by two other little girls. He did a lot worse to them."

"It's not good enough," she replied and turned to him. Her eyes were blazing. "I wanted to kill him Peeta. I wanted to squeeze his neck like you did until he was blue or bang his head into a tree. I haven't felt like this since we were in the Games. It scares me because I don't care. I want him to suffer like he's made Zoe suffer."

"I know." Peeta bowed his head. "I wanted to kill him. The feeling of rage was so strong."

The door opened and Suzanne emerged. She closed the door behind her. "She's broken an arm and a couple of ribs but she's young and strong. What worried me is her head. It's obvious that she's had a concussion but I won't be able to know what damage has happened until she wakes up." She sighed. "Arthur's has put her in an induced coma so that she could heal properly."

"For how long?"

"A week." Suzanne watched their faces fall. "Then we will try to wake her."

"Can I go in?" Katniss was on the verge of tears. "Please?"

"Of course sweetie," Suzanne said and kissed her daughter's forehead.

"I'll be in soon," Peeta said to her and Katniss nodded before entering the room.

"How are you Peeta?" The older woman put a hand on his shoulder.

"Horrible." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Zoe was so excited today. She begged me to wait for her to bake a cake for Katniss." His eyes filled with tears. "It was going to be the first time I've ever let her make a chocolate cake with me. She wanted to do it so badly so she could always give Katniss her favorite cake." He put his hands over his eyes trying to stop the tears from falling. "How could everything just mess up so quickly?"

"Oh Peeta," Suzanne said full of sympathy. "You couldn't know that this would happen."

"Of all the days." Peeta pulled a box out of his pocket. "After Zoe gave her the cake, I was going to give Katniss this." He opened the box to reveal a simple gold ring with a pearl nestled in the prongs. It was the same pearl he had given her during the Quell.

He bowed his head again and Suzanne leaned against the wall keeping him company as he wept.

++++++

_Zoe sat in the field of dandelions with Rue. They wore crowns of daisies on their heads._

_"Is it always sunny here?" she asked Rue._

_"Always." Rue turned to her suddenly somber. "Your Mommy tried to save me but it wasn't meant to happen. Even if it seems unfair at first. I never even got to kiss a boy."_

_"Boys are gross!" Zoe giggled and Rue smiled at her sadly._

_"One day you won't think so," she said wisely. "When it does, kiss him twice as much for me. It's already started, you know."_

_"I don't understand. What's started?"_

_"Hi Zoe." The girls looked up to see the pretty face of a blonde girl with eyes even brighter than Zoe's. She sat next to her, her eyes never leaving Zoe's._

_"Who are you?"_

_"You know who I am." Zoe thought of the picture on the mantle of a smiling thirteen year old. "Thanks for the cake."_

_"Aunt Prim?" Primrose Everdeen grinned at her niece and placed a hand on her cheek._

_"It's nice to finally get a good look at you," Prim said. She ran a hand against Zoe's braid. "Like mother, like daughter."_

_"Mommy becomes sad when she talks about you sometimes." Prim's eyes clouded over._

_"I wish she wouldn't because she made me so happy." Zoe suddenly felt very tired._

_"Lay down," Prim said patting her lap. Zoe complied and as her eyes closed she felt her Aunt undo her braid. She ran her fingers through Zoe's hair. "Your Mommy use to do this to me. That's why I sent you to her so that she could have someone to do this with again. So she wouldn't be sad."_

_"Aunt Prim, will you sing to me?" Zoe let a yawn escape her mouth._

_"Of course." She continued to run her hands through Zoe's hair. As her eyes closed, she heard the familiar words._

_"Deep in the meadow…"_

++++++

"Zoe," Katniss whispered to her daughter. "Baby, where are you?"

The little girl's eyes remained closed and Katniss sat carefully on the bed. It had been five days since she fell.

Guilt ran though her body. Four years that she has wasted running in fear and now she had to wait to see if her daughter would come back to her. Her sweet, innocent girl.

"The first time you kicked me I smiled," Katniss said quietly. "I just got so scared that you would be coming into a world where you couldn't smile and you'd live in fear like I did. You make me so happy Zoe and I love you so much." She tried to stop the sob from emerging. "Please come back to me and your Daddy." Katniss placed her forehead against the cool sheet and cried into it.

"Baby." Peeta put a hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him. "You need to get some rest. This isn't good for the baby."

"I can't leave her," she said from where she sat. "What if she wakes up and I'm not here? I've already abandoned her before. I won't do it again." Her voice was firm.

Peeta nodded. "I'll get us a cot. We'll wait together."

++++++

_When she woke up, her Aunt Prim was gone. So was Rue._

_Zoe wasn't scared however._

_The meadow was pretty. The sun began to set and she realized that she had nowhere to stay for the night. Sitting up, she looked around and spotted a familiar home. Zoe stood up and began to approach it slowly. As she walked onto the porch, Zoe turned to see a rocking chair. It was the chair that they had put in the nursery._

_She approached the front door and twisted the knob. When she entered the house, it was warm and cozy._

_"My Zoe. You were never too shy whenever you came to visit me." Zoe followed the voice to the living room where by the fireplace was her Grandpa Haymitch sitting in his chair._

_"Grandpa Haymitch!"_

_Haymitch smiled at her and held his arms out to her. Zoe ran to his lap and he enveloped her in his arms. "That's my girl. You've gotten so big."_

_"I'm five now." She held the hand up. "I'm going to be a big sister too!"_

_"Ah yes," Haymitch said. "You're going to have a baby brother. You must always take care of each other. Remember that. You have to keep your parents on their feet." He laughed to himself. "I miss those two. Tell your Mama that I'm not mad at her."_

_"I will," she promised. "Grandpa Haymitch, when can I go home? I have to bake a cake for Mommy."_

_"Soon." The front door opened and closed. "There's someone I want you to meet."_

_Zoe looked at the entryway to see a boy standing before her. He had blond hair that swept across his forehead and dark grey eyes. He smiled brightly at her._

_"Hi Zoe."_

_"Hello," she replied and walked over to him. "Who are you?"_

_"You will see me soon enough."_

_"Play something for her boy!"_

_"Sure thing Grandpa Haymitch." The boy went to the piano in the corner and began to play. His hands ran over the keys flawlessly and Zoe was amazed at the sound he produced._

_The boy smiled at her and his grin looked familiar. Then he began to sing and Zoe was transfixed._

_"Your Mama sang this song when she was five," Haymitch said to her. "Your Dad knew that he would love her right then and there. Peeta was always the romantic."_

_The boy stopped playing and went to her. "It's time to go."_

_"Where?"_

_"Back home to your Mommy and Daddy, of course," the boy told her. "I will be there soon. I promise."_

_She suddenly found herself outside. Grandpa Haymitch held one hand and the boy held her other hand. Zoe watched the world disappearing around her until she was back in the bright light that she had started in._

_"How will I know where to go?" she asked and the whiteness surrounded her._

_"Just listen for her voice," the boy said and he kissed her cheek. "Oh and tell her to lay off the jalapenos."_

_"I'm always with you Zoe," Haymitch said and she looked up at his smiling face. "I love you."_

_"I love you too." Her eyes suddenly stung with tears._

_"Zoe…" The voice seemed so close. Haymitch and the boy were gone._

_"Zoe…come back to us baby…"_

_"Zoe…"_

_She walked towards the voice and closed her eyes._

++++++

"Zoe." Katniss touched her daughter's forehead. The little girl groaned as she struggled to open her eyes. Arthur had taken her off the medication as it had been a week.

Peeta stood on her other side holding her hand in his. "Open your eyes sweetie." He just wanted to see her blue eyes. The eyes that were so like his own.

Zoe's eyes fluttered before she opened them slowly. "Daddy? Mommy?" She turned to Katniss and smiled softly.

Katniss began to cry in relief but she smiled at the little girl. "I'm so glad you're okay. We missed you so much."

"Don't ever do that to us again Zoe," Peeta said gruffly. He kissed her forehead.

Zoe looked at her parents. They looked so tired. Her Daddy had dark circles under his eyes and she could see that he hadn't shaved. Her Mommy was pale and her eyes puffy then she looked down and saw that her belly had gotten bigger.

"I'm sorry I ran," Zoe said quietly from her bed. "Caleb scared me."

"We know," Katniss told her. "Anastasia told us."

"Anastatia?" She recalled the dark haired girl with the big brown eyes. Zoe had to remember to thank her when she got back to school.

"She's been here to drop off your work and check on you," her mother told her. "Caleb has been sent away. You weren't the only girl that he was bothering."

Zoe nodded. "Grandpa Haymitch said that he's not mad at you."

"When?" Her Mommy looked shocked. Her Daddy's face went pale.

"When I was sleeping," she told them and looked at Peeta. "The little boy sang the song that Mommy sang. Grandpa Haymitch said that it was what made you love Mommy."

"What little boy?" Peeta asked curiously.

"He had blond hair like yours and pretty grey eyes." She yawned. "He had the nicest voice I've ever heard." Her eyelids grew heavy. "Can I go back to sleep?"

"Sure." Her father cupped her cheek. "Your Grandpa Arthur will probably want to check on you later."

Zoe nodded and then turned her head to look at Katniss. "He said to lay off the jalapenos."

With that, she fell back to sleep.

Katniss looked down at her stomach realizing who the little boy was. Peeta smiled at her and took her hand.

"Was that where the jar went?" Effie had sent it to them so that Peeta could experiment using them in one of his baked goods. The jar had mysteriously disappeared sometime during the week.

"Sorry, I thought the baby wanted it," she said sheepishly and Katniss rubbed her stomach. "Sorry little boy."

She felt the hard kick in response and smiled to herself.

++++++

Slowly Zoe began to heal.

Her grandparents were amazed at how well she was doing. The ribs that had broken were still healing and her head injury had left her unharmed with the exception of the gash on her head. She had to wear a sling for her arm but it wasn't important to any of them.

What was important was that she was alright.

Anastasia had come to see Zoe and the two little girls had become fast friends.

Katniss could not believe that this had all happened and they had managed to come out relatively unscathed. They could have lost Zoe. As she healed, Zoe told her and Peeta about her dream. She told her mother about Miss Rue who had walked with her and made her a crown of daisies. She also talked about her Aunt Prim who had sung her to sleep.

Peeta and Katniss didn't know if it was a hallucination. There were things however that made them think that it wasn't. Like the little boy with the blond hair and grey eyes.

Their lives for a moment were as normal as they could be.

Today, she lay alongside Zoe on the living room couch. Peeta would be home soon and they would be having dinner out on the porch with Gale and Johanna. Zoe was napping next to her peacefully. She would be going back to school in a few days but for now Katniss was enjoying spending time with her daughter.

Suddenly Katniss realized that she was in her ninth month.

Then the pain came.

"Zoe?" she groaned quietly. The little girl opened her eyes to see her mother rubbing her lower back.

"Mommy, are you okay?"

"Do you remember how to call the bakery?"

Zoe nodded.

"Call the bakery and tell your Daddy that your baby brother is coming."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I wish that I could have made this longer but it didn't seem logical to the chapter.

Don't you love an angry Peeta? I do.

Anastasia will be making another appearance. Do you know where the name came from?

It's sad to see the story ending. I want to write some one-shots in this universe. Any suggestions?

Once again, thank you for support. I try to respond to as many reviews and messages as I can so patience please.

Reviews mean love! Alerts and PM's too!

Next Chapter: Welcome Baby Boy Mellark.


	14. Next to Me

Thank you for all support! Author's Notes at the bottom.

The Hunger Games Trilogy does not belong to me.

And now the Final Chapter…

You won't find him trying to chase the devil  
For money, fame, for power, out of greed  
You won't ever find him where the rest go  
You will find him, you'll find him next to me…

-Emile Sande (Next to Me)

All I Know

By JLaLa

Chapter Fourteen: Next to Me

The pain was excruciating.

Katniss wondered why she was letting herself do this again. On the other hand, it was really too late to back out now. She smiled wryly to herself.

"Hello! Anyone home?" Gale and Johanna were in the entryway.

"In here," Katniss gasped as she sat on the couch. The two walked in to see her gripping the edge of the coffee table in pain.

Johanna went to her quickly. "Are you okay?" Gale hung back nervously.

"No." Katniss shook her head. "I'm in labor and I am realizing that it really hurt the last time I did this." She stood up to try to relieve the pressure but a contraction came and she bent over in pain holding her friend's hand. "Zoe is calling Peeta."

"That hurts Katniss," Johanna said. "Let go of me." She did and Johanna shook her hand in pain.

"I'm about to push a baby out of me," her friend replied. "It weighs eight or nine pounds. Do you know what else weighs that amount? Wild turkeys, sacks of flour, watermelon…can you imagine one of those coming out of you?"

"Mommy," Zoe said as she came back in. Her mother tried to smile but it came out in a painful grimace. "I called Daddy but he's not answering. I called Grandma and Grandpa Arthur too. They just got back from Miss Hazelle's. They're coming. Has your water broken?"

Katniss shook her head and then sat back down. She looked over to see Gale still standing at the archway. His face was pale.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Katniss asked her friend.

Johanna looked over at her boyfriend. "Oh he's all tough when he's out in the Capitol but the sight of you trying to push out a baby is one of the scariest things he's ever going to see."

"I'm not going to see that," Gale said putting his hands up. "No way."

"We should bring Mommy up to bed now," Zoe told them.

Katniss nodded and stood with Johanna's help. They walked together and another contraction began to rip through her as she reached the stairs. She grabbed the stair post in pain.

"Eight minutes." The three looked at Zoe who was holding a pocket watch.

"Where did you get that?" Gale asked amused.

"Grandma gave it to me a week ago," she said. "Since I know how to tell time now. She said that I can see how long it took between each tummy ache." Zoe looked unfazed at their shock.

"I wish Peeta was here," Katniss said breathing harshly. A thin sheen of sweat covered her forehead.

"Me too," Johanna said. She turned to Gale. "Why don't you go get him?"

Gale nodded. "Okay," he said and then turned to Katniss. "I'll be right back with Peeta."

Katniss gave him a tired smile. "Thank you." She put a hand to his shoulder. "Oh God, another one." Suddenly she doubled over again gripping her friend's shoulder. Katniss groaned once more.

A gush of water hit Gale's shoes.

"Six minutes," Zoe reported.

++++++

The door jingled and Peeta looked pass the customer he was helping to the panting man. Gale walked over to him and his shoes made a squishing noise.

"Gale?"

He put a hand on his thigh before he looked up at Peeta. He was breathing harshly from the run. "Katniss…baby…water everywhere…come now." Peeta looked at him confused before it dawned on him.

Katniss was in labor.

"POSY!" The young girl emerged from the back of the bakery.

"What's going on?" she asked and looked at Gale. "Hey big brother."

Gale managed an exhausted wave.

"It's go time," Peeta said and removed his apron. "Take over the counter."

Posy nodded. "Congratulations Peeta!" She waved as they walked out the door.

Outside the two men walked quickly. "What the hell happened to your shoes?"

"Katniss's water broke on them," Gale replied.

Peeta tried not to laugh.

++++++

As he opened the door, Katniss's yell could be heard from the upstairs room. Peeta ran up as fast he could. When he walked into the room, Katniss was in bed while Suzanne and Johanna were holding her hands. She looked up to see him and her face lit up in relief.

"Peeta," she said happily. Johanna moved so he could go to her side.

He kissed her heartily. "Sorry, I'm late."

"It's fine," Katniss told him. "I'm just so glad you're here."

"Where's Zoe?"

"We told her to stay in her room," Arthur explained as he emerged from the bathroom. Suzanne handed him a towel and he dried his hands. Then she handed him a pair of gloves. "Katniss was cursing too much."

"I tried not to but it hurts like hell," she told him.

Peeta wiped her brow. "It's alright; curse till you're blue in the face." He smiled at her softly. This amazing woman was about to give him a son. "I love you."

"I love you too but I don't think that I want you to touch me for awhile." Katniss smile because she knew that she would never deny him his touch. She looked up at her mother. "How much longer?"

"You're dilated to five centimeters," she said and pushed back her hair. "Rest while you can."

"Mommy? Daddy?"

Zoe stood at the doorway with her stuffed duck in her good arm. They both turned to her with a smile and Peeta beckoned her over.

"Come here," he said and Peeta placed her on his lap. "We haven't thought about what we're going to name your baby."

"We have to wait," Zoe said with a smile. "I want to see him before I decide."

"Don't we get a say in this?" Katniss asked her with a bemused smile.

"It's never up to us." Zoe's eyes were serious. "Only the sky will know."

"You are so smart," her mother said and kissed the top of her head. "Did I tell you that I love you?"

Zoe nodded and grinned at her mother. She cuddled against her.

"It's time for your nap," Katniss whispered in her ear. "Go on and I will try to have your brother by the time you wake up."

Peeta picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him. They walked into her room and he let her unwrap herself so she could lay down. He sat on the bed and kissed her forehead.

"Are you excited?" he asked and she nodded with a tired smile. "You know how much I love you, right?"

"To the moon," she replied and Peeta nodded as he smoothed her hair. "Just like Mommy does." Peeta took a thin blanket from the bottom edge of her bed and placed it over her body. Then he sat by her side. Zoe looked up at him and took his hand. "You know it's going to be okay, right? It's different this time."

He gazed down at her quizzically. "How did you get so smart?"

She shrugged and began to close her eyes. "I love you Daddy."

Kissing her on her forehead, he left Zoe to her dreams.

++++++

Zoe was right. This time it was different.

The pain was there of course.

However, this time she wasn't scared and Katniss didn't feel alone this time. She wasn't wrapped up in her thoughts of fear. She looked at Peeta and saw him looking at her the way he had always looked at her. Katniss remembered that look from long ago when he had saved her life during that rainy day outside the bakery.

It was love.

They had been through hell and back together. Giving birth was a walk in the meadow.

Actually it wasn't.

"Shit." The pain was coming more constantly. Johanna and her mother stood on each side of her legs. "It hurts, I don't know if I can do this."

She turned to Peeta. "You can and you will." His blue eyes bore into hers with assurance.

"You have to push now Katniss," Arthur told her.

"You're almost there," Suzanne told her.

Katniss let the pain come and grit her teeth. A low groan escaped her mouth. "I'm so tired."

"I know you're tired," her mother said. "But you can do this."

"Push now Katniss," Arthur instructed her and she did letting out a loud cry. "The head is out."

Johanna looked down. "He has a lot of blond hair Katniss." She felt her eyes water.

"One more love," Suzanne urged.

"Peeta." Katniss met his eyes. They were so blue like their daughter's.

She couldn't love him anymore than she did in that moment.

Katniss could feel the pull from her lower half. Then the baby cried.

He was finally there. Their son.

She breathed a sigh of relief and felt Peeta kiss the top of her head. He was crying and Katniss grinned tiredly. "He's so beautiful. Just like you," he told her.

Johanna was smiling as tears fell from her face. She went over to Katniss and kissed the side of her sweaty head. "You did good."

"Thanks Jo," she replied. "Can you get Zoe in a few minutes? I need to get cleaned up."

Her friend nodded. "I'll get Gale too. He's watching over her." She exited the room.

Katniss looked over at Peeta. "Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?"

"For him and for her," Katniss told him. She looked over to where her mother was cleaning the baby.

"Always happy to be of assistance," Peeta said easily and the two began to laugh like children.

Her mother approached them and she look adoringly at the baby before giving him to Katniss.

Suzanne was grinning from ear to ear. "He's beautiful."

Katniss and Peeta looked down at their son. His hair was a light blonde and wispy while his skin was pale. His lips were so tiny and pink and were curled into a semi-smirk. It was like he knew something they didn't.

"So you're the one who's been kicking me," she whispered. "Sorry about the jalapenos. Mommy was just experimenting." The baby yawned and opened his eyes revealing the solid grey.

Katniss looked over at Peeta and presented the baby to him. "Your son."

Peeta carefully took the baby in his arms. He rocked him expertly. "You're a big boy. It must be all the cake." A choked laugh escaped his mouth. "I think you're going to be able to help me lift flour bags easily." He sat next to Katniss and looked at her. Her hair was matted to the side of her face and her cheeks were rosy from the labor. "You're beautiful."

She looked pleased and put her head on his shoulder.

"Guess who's up?" Gale was at the doorway with a still sleepy Zoe. She looked groggily over at them. Walking over, he placed her on her feet and went to the empty side opposite Peeta. Looking down at the baby, he caressed the baby's cheek. "He's perfect."

"Thanks, we like him," Katniss replied.

"I'll give you guys some time alone." He looked over at Peeta and smiled at the man. "Congratulations."

Peeta nodded at him. "Thanks."

They realized that they were now alone. Arthur and Suzanne had left immediately after they had cleaned Katniss and the baby up. Zoe had finally woken up from her tired state.

"Come here baby," Katniss said and Peeta moved so that she could crawl over to her mother. "He's here. Should we decide on a name?"

Zoe looked over at the bundle in Peeta's arm. She sat up and shifted so that she was sitting on her feet.

"He has a smirk," Peeta said. "It kind of reminds me of your Grandpa Haymitch."

The little girl was still sleepy and her mouth stretched in a yawn as she finally spoke. "Hay-mitch-um…" Her parents laughed and Katniss pulled her closer.

"Still tired, huh?"

"Yes Mommy," Zoe said and then looked at the baby. The infant yawned and he looked like Zoe when he did. His eyes opened and somehow he focused on Zoe looking at her with that tiny wisp of a smirk. She touched his cheek. "Hey Mitchum."

"Mitchum?" Peeta looked at his daughter then at Katniss.

"That's his name Daddy," she told them. "I get to call him Mitchy."

"Mitchum Mellark," Katniss said slowly and turned to Peeta. "What do you think?"

"I like it." He grinned and cooed at the baby. "Hey Mitchum."

Mitchum let out a small cry and Zoe reached for him. Peeta helped her so that the baby was cradled in her tiny arms. Katniss and Peeta sat on each side.

"Don't cry Mitchy," she told the baby. "There's nothing to be scared of. Mommy and Daddy will be here to take care of us." He fussed and she rocked him gently. "Shhh. Sleep now." She began to sing quietly.

"Deep in the meadow…"

++++++

"Will that be all for you?" Peeta asked as he boxed the cake for Mrs. Simms who owned the small tailor shop across from him. She was in her late sixties with white hair that was always in a bun.

"Yes dear," she replied. "It's my granddaughter Lydia's birthday."

"Oh really?" He grabbed a bag and put some cookies in it. "In that case, it's all on me."

"It's quite alright," the woman said. "I don't want to put you out."

"It's okay. You see, today is my birthday," he told her. "So anyone with the same birthday as me gets a free cake."

"Thank you Peeta," she said gratefully. "How are Katniss and the children?"

"They're doing great," he replied. "Zoe is back in school now and Mitchum is growing every day. He's three weeks old now."

It had been a tiring yet wonderful three weeks.

While they lacked sleep, he didn't think that he or Katniss had ever smiled as much. They marveled in the wonder that their children were. They watched Zoe in her role as big sister. She seemed to know how to communicate with Mitchum or Mitchy as she called him. He never cried when he was with her.

Last night, she had been the one to make him crack his first smile.

It was beautiful to watch his grey eyes light up. Together the parents watched Mitchum become his own little person. He liked to be rocked in the chair that they had set up next to the window. He never cried when Katniss bathed him and if Peeta tickled behind his ear he would squeal with joy.

He was always hungry and Katniss joked that he might drink her dry. Peeta was always happy to supply her with fuel by cooking for them at night when he came home from the bakery.

Tonight, however, Katniss insisted that she would take care of dinner. Gale and Johanna promised to make sure that she didn't burn the house down.

He could tell that Katniss was content. When the children were asleep, he would make sure to thoroughly show her how content he was. Peeta would worship her body. He would move his lips from top to bottom until there wasn't an inch of skin that he hadn't pressed his lips against.

Arthur had given both of them a very informative lecture on waiting for Katniss's body to heal before sex. He didn't think that Katniss could turn so red but Arthur had been very professional about it. So they had to be creative with one another until she was-as Johanna called it-back in business.

"I saw Katniss the other day with the children," the older woman remarked. "You two know how to make beautiful children. Thinking of making it official soon?"

Though Peeta had intended to propose, the couple had been busy with midnight feedings and helping Zoe get settled back in school. Zoe had a very long session with Dr. Lawrence regarding her initial feelings of fear about returning to school.

However, the day she was scheduled to return, Anastasia Haven had appeared on their doorstep to walk with Zoe and Peeta. She was a year older than Zoe so she dropped Zoe to her class than proceeded to go to her own. It was not uncommon now for Anastasia to be at their home in the morning. Sometimes she came earlier and Peeta would offer her breakfast. She ate with relish and never talked about home only telling them that her father worked in lumber. Her mother had died giving birth to her.

So Zoe's transition had gone well and she even had a new best friend.

"Sooner than you think," he told her. The woman winked at him and wished Peeta a Happy Birthday.

Posy emerged from the back. "Peeta, it's your birthday. Why are you still here?"

He looked at his watch. "I guess I better go. Katniss is preparing dinner for my birthday."

She smiled at him. "Have fun. Happy Birthday Peeta."

After Posy gave him a hug, he walked out of the bakery. Many of the townspeople waved and congratulated him on the new baby. He smiled at them proudly and he suddenly was rushing home eager to see his family.

He had a family.

Now more than ever, he felt his father's presence. His father was a quiet man but he had a calming disposition in comparison to his mother. She would've been appalled at the thought of him having children with Seam features. He wouldn't trade Zoe's beautiful dark hair or Mitchum's grey eyes for anything. He was proud that they were combinations of him and Katniss.

Zoe had her mother's determination and protective nature. She had his amiable personality and his love for art. He couldn't wait to see what Mitchum would get from them. Maybe he would be an expert huntsman like Katniss or an artist like him.

Katniss would laugh when he looked at his son and mused over what trait he had received from them. She believed that he would create his own personality just as Zoe had.

As Peeta approached the house, he felt his insides jump for joy. Today he had turned 29. He had been a Victor, a prisoner, a fighter, a friend, a lover, and a father. Peeta hoped that one day, he could add husband to the list.

The house was quiet when he entered. "Hello?" The sound of his voice echoed into the entryway.

"In here," Katniss called out from the living room.

When Peeta entered his mouth curled up into a grin as he saw his family. The fireplace was glowing with a soft fire and a picnic had been laid out next to it. Katniss sat holding Mitchum while Zoe sat across from them. Katniss and Zoe wore paper crowns.

Zoe leaped from her seat and went to him. "Happy Birthday Daddy!" She pulled him to the picnic and made him sit. When he was properly seated, she placed a paper crown on his head adjusting it so that it fit perfectly.

The picnic was a sumptuous feast of fruits and sandwiches along with a cake. He met Katniss's eyes.

"Don't worry," she told him with a smile. "Posy made it so it's edible." Katniss's eyes glowed in the firelight. "Happy Birthday Peeta." She wore a silky robe that tied at the waist and her hair was down. "So should we eat or presents first?"

"Presents!" Zoe said and went to the coffee table to get her present. "This is from me."

He unrolled the piece of paper to reveal a drawing of Zoe and Mitchum. He hugged his daughter.

"This is perfect Zoe," he said and she beamed at him. "I'm going to hang it up in the bakery."

"Really?" Zoe clapped her hands in excitement.

Katniss handed him a bag. "This is from Johanna."

Peeta read the card. 'To belated Birthday celebrations. Love Johanna.' He peeked into the bag and then closed it quickly. He felt his cheeks redden.

"What is it?" Katniss asked and he opened the bag showing her something that looked red and lacy. She giggled which made him smile. She handed him another box. "From Gale."

It was a brand new brush set. He could tell that it had come from the Capitol for they gleamed in newness. Suzanne and Arthur had given him a photo album with pictures of Zoe in the first few pages. There were also pictures of Katniss in various stages of pregnancy. The last of photos were of Mitchum.

He turned a page and found a picture of the four of them. Peeta and Katniss were seated together on the couch leaning into one another. He had one arm around Katniss who was cradling Mitchum and his other arm around Zoe who was beaming. They looked tired but blissfully happy.

Suzanne and Arthur had left a few days ago as their time had run out. They would be visiting in a few months when they had finished training their new attending Doctor.

"Now for my present," Katniss said and she handed him a rolled up paper similar to Zoe's.

Peeta smiled at her. "Did you draw me a picture too? I didn't take you for the artistic type."

She scowled. "Will you just look at it?" Katniss looked at him impatiently.

He unrolled it carefully and looked it over. "What is it?"

Katniss huffed but her eyes were laughing. "Haven't you ever seen a marriage contract?"

"What?" He was in disbelief but his jaw was hurting from the smile on his face. "Is this real?"

"Real. Gale used some of his connections so that we could sign it privately," she said to him. Katniss looked at him shyly. "That is if you want to."

He took her free hand. "I wanted this since I was five," Peeta told her earnestly.

Katniss beamed. "Here's a pen." She handed it to him and he saw that Katniss wore the ring that he had commissioned for her weeks ago. "You should find better hiding places Peeta." She gave him a teasing smile. He had hidden it behind the books where the memory book of their loved ones was.

Peeta signed the contract under his typed name. Beside his name was Katniss's.

In neat scrawl was her signature, 'Katniss Mellark'. He looked up at her brightly. "Well we're married now."

"Not quite." She looked over at Zoe and the little girl produced a plate with two bread pieces.

Katniss reached for her piece and carefully as she was holding Mitchum, she toasted her piece. When it had turned a nice golden, Katniss turned to him and her eyes were brimming with tears.

"I'm not good with words. I am good with promises though. When I couldn't make sense of the world, you were there to save me from myself. You showed me the beauty of life when all I could see was rage. Peeta, thank you for never leaving me alone. Thank you for giving me two beautiful children. Thank you for standing next to me through the Games, through the Quell, through the Rebellion and through every day after that even when I was gone. I promise that whatever happens in life, I will always be standing next to you as your friend, as your partner, and most importantly as your wife."

She held out the piece to him and he ate it, his eyes never leaving hers. Tears ran down her face and he could see Zoe watching them in wonderment.

Peeta reached for his piece and toasted it until it was also a golden brown. He looked at the woman in front of him. His wife, and the mother of his children. His home.

"Katniss, I've never known anything else but to love you. Even when the world around us was changing. It's like breathing, you know. Loving you is what sustains me. It is what keeps the darkness from rising within me. I know you never believed that love could not be anything but destructive. I promise to show you every day that love is the only thing that couldn't be killed in the Rebellion. I promise to show you that love is what will remain through any of our dark moments. I promise to stand beside you as your friend, as your partner, and as your husband. Always."

He offered her the toasted bread and she ate the piece gazing at him.

"My husband," Katniss whispered.

"My wife," he replied in response.

They reached over the space in-between and their lips met in a deep kiss as the fire glowed brightly. Katniss couldn't press herself against him as Mitchum was cradled in her arms. They could hear the soft clap of Zoe in the background. When they pulled apart, she was jumping up and down in excitement.

"Your Mommy is officially your Mommy," Peeta said. "I can see that you're excited."

"Mommy has always been my Mommy!" Katniss smiled at her announcement. "That's not what I'm excited about though."

"Then why are you so excited?" Her mother asked as she rocked Mitchum.

"My birthday wish came true!" She jumped in excitement. "It really does work!"

++++++

A week later, Peeta cradled his son as he walked to the nursery. The little boy was fast asleep in his arms after Zoe had sung her lullaby to him. He knew that they had at least four hours before he would wake up for a feeding.

Walking into the room, he kissed the top of his son's head. "Good night Mitch." He turned on the monitor so that they could hear if he cried. Peeta backed out of the room quietly and turned off the light.

He went to the room across from the master bedroom and peered in. Peeta found Zoe already snoring in bed. He turned on her nightlight before closing the door.

The house was quiet for the first time in a month.

They could finally get some rest. He was exhausted and he was sure that his wife was.

His wife.

Peeta still couldn't believe that he was married to Katniss. The day after the Toasting, they walked to the Justice building together and turned in the contract. The office aide took one look at their names and pumped each of their hands in a mighty shake.

When he entered the room, Katniss was in the bathroom washing up for the night. He went to his side of the bed and looked at the new picture at his bedside. It was the one that Suzanne had given to him of his family.

They were a family.

"Hi." Peeta looked up when he heard her voice. His eyes widened when he saw her.

Katniss stood at the bathroom doorway wearing his present. Looking at it on Katniss, he made a note in his mind to send Johanna something nice. It was a red lace corset along with a pair of black lace boys short. The corset had garter straps that were attached to sheer black pull up stockings which showcased her long legs. Her hair was down and she wore a pair of black heels.

"You look…wow…" He had to stop himself from letting his mouth hang open.

"It was really hard to put on," she informed him. "I had to put the corset on backwards and then spin it around. It was painful and I got breast milk all over the counter when I did." She blushed. "That doesn't sound sexy, does it?"

"You look ten shades of sexy," he told her as he approached her.

Katniss blushed and looked down. When he was standing only inches apart from her, he lifted her chin so that he could look into her eyes. They were dark with desire for him.

"I thought that you had to wait to—you know," Peeta asked though his inner self was jumping for joy.

"It's been four weeks," Katniss told him with a smile. "Don't worry; I talked to my mother about it."

"I really can't stop looking at you," he said and looked at her outfit again.

"Kiss me Peeta,"she whispered. "Or touch me. Do something."

Peeta closed the space between them and moved her hair off her shoulder. He kissed her shoulder and trailed kisses along her shoulder until he reached her neck. He sucked her neck lightly. Katniss hissed in pleasure and he went to her earlobe biting it. Then he kissed her soft lips and she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him close enough to feel his reaction to her outfit.

When he pulled apart from her, Peeta scooped her up in his arms bridal style.

"Does this count as a honeymoon?" she asked him as he lay her on the bed.

"Well we have three and a half hours until Mitch wakes up," Peeta replied. Her dark hair was spread out against the white pillows and her chest rose up and down in excitement.

"Then we better make it count," Katniss said with smile. "Now please help me out of this corset because it is so uncomfortable."

++++++

Katniss looked out the window of the kitchen as she held Mitchum in her arms. He had grown a lot in two months and she saw the bits of his personality. He had different smiles for each of them though he gave Zoe the most smiles. He went through twice as many diapers according to Peeta and the only person he ever peed on was Gale.

She wondered what kind of person he was going to be. Would the dreams that she had come to fruition? When this happened, she took a breath and realized that she just had to wait and see.

Beautiful things can come out of the hardest of circumstances.

Katniss wouldn't trade what she experienced for anything. She had to grow up and so did Peeta. Now they were learning to grow together. Who knew what would happen now?

She felt her husband's body press against her back and he kissed her neck.

Katniss turned to him and his bright blue eyes met her own. "What are you thinking about?"

"Growing up," she said and he looked at her confused for a moment. "You'll see."

Zoe came into the kitchen excitedly with a paper in her hand.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Zoe went to them and Peeta picked her up easily placing the girl on the kitchen island. "Can Ana have dinner with us today?"

"Of course," Katniss told her. "Your Uncle Gale and Aunt Johanna are coming too so it looks like a full house tonight."

"What do you got there?" Peeta asked her. She grinned and then spread the picture on the island for them to look at.

Her parents looked at the picture and Peeta picked his daughter up swinging her in his arms. She squealed in delight and then he placed her back on the island.

Katniss burst into tears.

"Are you okay Mommy?"

"Yes, I'm just really proud of you Zoe. We're going to send it to Dr. Lawrence right away."

The three of them look at the picture again.

The drawing was of the four of them. Katniss was inside the house with Peeta who was holding a cupcake. Her mother held a blue blob which they assumed was Mitchum. The sun was big and bright. It was sporting a big smile.

In fact, all of them had big smiles on their faces.

The best part was that Zoe's face was filled in and her smile was the biggest of them all.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So ends the story. It was fast update, wasn't it? The chapter wrote itself really.

It's nice that it ended on the fourteenth chapter as my anniversary fall on a fourteenth.

The song at the beginning is a song that I'm currently obsessed with. When I heard it, I thought that this was exactly how Katniss feels about Peeta. The version I'm listening to is an acoustic version that Emile Sande performed on Conan O' Brien. If you are able to, please listen to it on his website.

Also Peeta does call the baby Mitch. It's a nickname of sorts besides Mitchy which Zoe will call him for the rest of his life.

I did allude to this name in a previous chapter.

If you haven't guessed where I got the name Anastasia, it is from the Fifty Shades of Grey which is what I'm currently reading. Gives a girl hope that it was based off a fanfiction.

The epilogue might not come for another week and a half. It will be a long chapter also. You get to find out the fates of all the characters.

Guess whose POV it's from? Well, I'll tell you.

It's Zoe.

Thank you for your support throughout the story. I hope you continue to review because your love got me through this.

UP NEXT: Thirteen Years Later.

Until then,

JLaLa


	15. The One in the Sun

Author's notes at the bottom.

The Hunger Games Trilogy does not belong to me.

But the ending always comes at last  
Endings always come too fast  
They come too fast, but they pass too slow  
I love you, and that's all I know…

-Art Garfunkel (All I Know)

Italics= dreams, song

All I Know

By JLaLa

Epilogue: The One in the Sun

My parents are the bravest people I know.

It's not because they are the Victors of the 74th Hunger Games or because they were two figures in the Rebellion which ultimately ended those Games.

It's because they have me as their daughter.

Raising me and my brother, Mitchy was probably one of the hardest things they've had to do. Children are difficult enough to raise but we were a different breed of children.

My name is Zoe Mellark. I am eighteen years old. My parents are Peeta and Katniss Mellark.

Today I am leaving District Twelve.

Sitting up in bed, I push back my long dark hair out of my eyes and look around. There are boxes everywhere and they are labeled with my name. They're going to District Four where I am going to be staying with Grandma Suzanne and Grandpa Arthur.

When I told my parents that I decided to become a Doctor, they were supportive until they realized that I would have to train somewhere else. Then my Grandma offered me an internship to work in the Primrose Everdeen Children's Ward and I accepted it.

Then they went ballistic.

Well my mother did.

My Dad was able to talk some sense into her and she begrudgingly understood that it was what was best for me. It was just an opportunity that I couldn't pass up.

So here I am looking at the boxes that hold eighteen years of my life. I look at the corner where my tent is and I can't bear to take it down. I grab my stuffed duck which seems to have a permanent spot in my bed and head into my closet. Some of my best thinking happened in this closet. The smell is familiar. It is home.

For the first time since I made this decision, I am rethinking it. I let myself sit in the darkness smelling the scent of lavender in my closet.

"Zoe?" The door opens and I see the broad figure of my Dad in the doorway. Now in his early forties, he has crinkles on the corners of his eyes when he smiles but he is-according to my Mom-still very hot.

It is really cute but very unnecessary when she tells me these things.

"Morning Daddy." I am greeting him from the floor of my closet and clinging to my stuffed duck like it's my lifeline. He widens the door and then walks in to offer his hand to help me up. He has always been supportive with my goals and he knows that I am determined.

I have my mother's spirit. I am the Mockingjay's daughter and I am full of fire.

"What were you doing in there?" he asks as he leads over to my bed and we both sit down. Looking around at all the boxes, he turns to me with the same blue eyes I have but they are sad. "It's hard to believe I won't be seeing you here anymore."

"I know," I reply. "I keep thinking that it's not a big deal but it is. I'll be gone for six months in District Four. I've never been away from you guys for that long." My eyes are beginning to water. "Can I come back if I don't like it there?" My voice comes out small.

"Of course you can." My Dad pulls me to him and I close my eyes inhaling the scent of baked goods. "This is your home."

I wipe my eyes. "Where's Mom?"

"She's indisposed."

I grin at him. "Still having issues with the 'oopsie' baby?" He turns red.

The 'oopsie' baby I am referring to is the unexpected sibling that Mitchy and I found out we were having three months ago.

My Uncle Gale and Aunt Johanna decided that after three kids, they should make it official. So three months ago they decided to have a Toasting and my Mom was given the duty of making a speech. After all, they were both her best friends.

So instead of finding other ways of alleviating her nervousness, my Mom decided to join my Dad in a round of white liquor.

Thus the 'oopsie' baby was conceived.

At my age, I know where babies come from. They do not come from 'ovens' as my Dad once told me when I was a child. My parents are passionate people and they are very much in love. They show us all the time.

In fact, I was the one who caught them making out against the side of my Uncle Gale's house.

Not the best thing to come across for me. It's nice to see that there are some things that last, like the love my parents have for one another.

"Yes, but she'll be along in a bit," he tells me and ruffles my hair. "Breakfast is ready. You better get down there before Mitchum eats it all. We have a lot to do before your train departs."

"It's a big, big day!" My Dad laughs at my impression of Miss Effie. The last time I saw her, she had grown much older but she was still feisty. Now I don't think she remembers my name. Alzheimer's will do that to the people you love.

"I better go check on your Mom," he says before exiting the room.

Standing up, I stretch and go to the mirror to put my hair in a braid. My hair is now halfway down my back and I comb through it before plaiting it in a side braid. I push my bangs back and looked at my pale complexion. My face is my Mom's but my complexion is my Dad's. I wish that I had my mother's beautiful olive skin.

Walking out to the hall and down the stairs, I hear the sounds of a beautiful piano melody being played. In the living room, I am greeted by the sight of my thirteen year old brother at the baby grand piano that my parents bought him for his birthday. His hair is a dark blond and straight unlike mine which has a slight curl to it.

He is singing softly to himself and I can barely hear the lyric. "Just the way you look tonight…"

I sit next to him at the piano and he turns to me with a grin. "Hey Zo."

"Hey Mitchy," I greet him. "Breakfast is ready."

His hands freeze on the keys and suddenly we are both racing from the bench to go to the kitchen. I shriek when he runs pass me and I speed up barely overtaking him as we reach the kitchen table.

"I win!" I jump up and down in triumph. Mitchy smirks at me and he does look like Grandpa Haymitch for a quick second. My brother is confident and always the life of the party. He makes friends everywhere he goes and all the little hormonal teenage girls are crazy about him.

All but the one he wants.

Amaya Hawthorne is the daughter of my Aunt Delly and Uncle Rory. They're not related to us but we have all been hanging out with one another since we were children. Three months ago when Aunt Johanna and Uncle Gale had the Toasting, he finally noticed that Amaya was a girl, a very pretty one.

So my poor brother has been pining away and playing sad love songs on his piano.

I fill my plate and Mitchy is already halfway through his.

"I see that they couldn't wait." We look up to see my Mom and Dad walking into the kitchen.

Mom's face is colorless but she smiles affectionately at us. She is gorgeous with her thick, dark hair and grey eyes. She still looks quite young and hunting in the woods has left her body fit but she has generous curves from childbirth. I wish I was half as beautiful as she is.

Getting up, I go to her and she welcomes me into her arms. She smells like the forest. We are the same height now and when we pull back I can see that her eyes are wet.

"Oh Mommy," I say to her affectionately. "Don't cry."

"It's all these damn hormones!" She lets out a small laugh. "And the fact that my first born is going out into the big, bad world."

"I think you should be more worried about the big bad world against Zoe," Mitchy says from where he is eating. "You know how she is when she is determined."

My Dad kisses the top of my head. "She is going to be the best damn Doctor that Panem's ever seen."

I nod agreeing and the feeling of tears is rising in me. Before I know it, my Mom is hugging me again.

"What's wrong baby?" She is the only one who still calls me that but I don't mind. I think that she still feels guilty for leaving me and Dad for those four years. I can barely remember it now but I do remember talking to Dr. Lawrence and drawing pictures.

In fact, my last picture is hanging above the fireplace in a golden frame.

My Mom has more than made up for whatever guilt she still feels. There hasn't been a parent-teacher meeting, recital, or award assembly that she hasn't gone to. She is always in the front row with Dad and Mitchy cheering me on.

"Why don't we go to the porch and have a talk?" Mom leads me out of the kitchen and we hold hands as we walk to the front porch. I wipe my eyes hastily when we finally sit down on the porch swing. "What's going on Zoe?"

"I don't know," I tell her. "I am really excited about going and learning to become a Doctor but that means that I won't be here. I won't get to see you get bigger with the 'oopsie' baby or talk Mitchy into admitting that he likes Amaya. I'll miss talking to you like this."

"Zoe." My mom pulls me to her and I put my head on her shoulder. "It's alright to be scared. Leaving is a big thing. You were meant to do great things. From the moment I re-met you, I could tell that you were going to take the world by storm. Your father and I fought the Rebellion so that you could have the chance to be scared about this."

I look up at her. "I don't understand."

"When I was your age, I was recovering from losing your Aunt Prim. District Twelve was nothing but a pile of rubble and your Dad was getting medical attention for the hijacking. Those are things that no eighteen year old should be going through. They should just be starting their lives not fighting for it. So I think you are feeling exactly what you should be feeling."

++++++

My parents told me about the Hunger Games when I turned sixteen. The curriculum for History would be focusing on the Games during my upcoming school year and my Aunt Delly warned by parents in advance. So the summer before school started they sat me down and they told me about their involvement. Then they brought down the videos that were locked in the attic and they sat down watching each one with me.

I watched Miss Effie pick my Aunt Prim's name from the bowl and my Mom's shouts as she volunteered as Tribute. I saw the citizens of District 12 salute my Mom who was only trying to save her sister. I saw my Dad's shocked face when he was called and felt the anguish he felt knowing that he would have to fight against the girl he loved. I saw my stumbling, drunken Grandpa Haymitch who would mentor them.

My parents were beautiful as they rode in their chariot hand in hand. Grandpa Haymitch was right to call my Dad a hopeless romantic when I watched his interview with Caesar Flickerman. The shock my mother must have felt. I saw her become 'The Girl on Fire' as she twirled her dress displaying her power and radiance.

It was like watching two different people.

Then when the Games began, I watched my Dad supposedly form an alliance with Cato's group. Cato reminded me of Caleb, the boy who had bullied me as a child. I watched my mother form an alliance with Miss Rue and then I watched her pick flowers for the young girl when she was brutally killed. I still remembered my dream and Miss Rue guiding me to visit my loved ones.

And I watched my parents unknowingly fall in love within an arena.

I watched them almost die as they hold the Nightlock berries in their hands and spark the beginning of the Rebellion.

I started to see the connection between my parents' strange behavior and their participation in the Games. It made sense why my mother never wanted us to roam the woods or why sometimes when it rained violently my father would grip a counter muttering of caves until his spell passed. I would hear him crying in their room as my mother spoke soothingly to him during these times.

They showed me clips of the Quell. I saw my Aunt Johanna in the silly tree costume and the unsmiling faces of parents as they were paraded around once again. When my Dad announced that he was already married to my Mom, I gasped in shock with the crowd. Then when he announced that she was pregnant, my parents had to assure me that this was a lie. I did not have a dead sibling.

The propos were the next things that I had to watch and my mother was glorious as she sang 'The Hanging Tree'. Then I watched my father's interviews with Caesar Flickerman and I saw his suffering blue eyes as he warned my mother. I saw his blood.

I cried for days.

I couldn't understand how they could be as okay as they were now. How were they able to go on with their lives as if nothing had happen? Now I understood why my Mom left. She had to get away from all of it. She couldn't stand to be in District 12 without my Aunt Prim.

Then one night I woke up screaming thinking that I was stabbed in the gut and my parents came into my room in panic. They hugged me until the tears subsided and I asked them how they could go on after seeing such horrible things.

"Because in the end, the good outweighed the bad," my Dad said as he rubbed my back.

"What good?"

"You," my Mom said simply. "You and Mitchum. We fought so you wouldn't have to."

No one could love their parents more than I did in that moment.

++++++

Now as I sit on the porch with my mother, I realize that she has given me a chance to live a life where I wouldn't be reaped. It was time for me to do great things so that their sacrifices weren't in vain.

"You're right Mom," I tell her. "I'm going to make you proud."

"You already have kid," she joked and I blanched at the title. For I wasn't a kid anymore. "Any other reason you are so emotional? Does it have to do with him?

I blush in spite of myself. "Mom!" She laughs and puts an arm around me. "I'm going to miss you teasing me."

"I think I remember a certain someone teasing her mother after a rather drunken speech was made." My mom looks at me pointedly.

I raise my hands in surrender and we laugh together. It feels so good to talk to her. She always knows how to make everything right. My Grandma Suzanne always says that she envies our relationship. My mother and she had never had a close relationship though I know they do love one another.

"Hey Mellarks!" We look up to Anastasia or Ana, my best friend, approaching the porch. She goes to my mom and kisses her on the cheek then pats her slightly swelled stomach. "Hi little one." Ana grins at me. "Are you down for one last hunt?"

"Always," I reply. "I just need to get dressed."

"Did you have breakfast?" my mother asks her and Ana shakes her head. "Well come on then. Let's get in before there's nothing left."

We all go in and I separate from them so I can go up the stairs. In my room, I dress in a pair of jeans then throw on a sweater as I think about Ana.

Ana has been my friend since I was five. She defended me when Caleb tortured me and last year when he was on trial for assaulting a woman, Ana went to the Capitol to testify on my behalf. She wanted to make sure that he never got out. That's the kind of person she is.

She slept over all the time when we were younger and I never questioned why that was. My parents did however.

A year after Mitchy was born, Ana's dad suddenly died of a heart attack and she was placed in custody of District 12. Aunt Johanna and Uncle Gale offered to let her stay with them until an arrangement could be made.

My Aunt and Uncle went with her to get her things in her old home and made some disturbing discoveries. There was no food in the house and a huge hole was on the roofing. Liquor bottles were scattered about.

Then they saw the most disturbing thing. There was only one bed. One bed for Ana and her father.

Ana stood in the corner of the room in shame as they realized why she was always so sad. My parents realized why she never turned down sleeping over. She was always early when we walked to school and she ate whatever she was given.

Despite all of this, it didn't take long for my Aunt Johanna and Uncle Gale to fall in love with her. By the end on the year Anastasia Haven became Anastasia Mason-Hawthorne. She was now part of our extended family.

Her parents adored her because it was impossible to not love Ana. She was beautiful with long dark hair, an olive complexion and the biggest brown eyes that you've ever seen. Ana did look like a combination of my Aunt and Uncle.

Five years after Ana came to live with them, my Aunt discovered she was pregnant. They were ecstatic.

Then they found out they were having twins.

Then they panicked.

The panic was short-lived once the twins, Ian and Bertram who were named after their grandfathers, were born. Uncle Gale finally had some testosterone in their home. They were eight now and are the two most rambunctious boys I know.

Pulling on my boots, I make my way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Ana is telling my parents about how Ian and Bertram tried to create a parachute and jump off the roof. Aunt Johanna caught them just in time.

"Ready?" Ana nods and we go out the back door jumping over our yard fence. Once upon a time, we could barely touch the top but now we tower over the short fencing.

"So how are you feeling?" Ana asks me. "You were looking a little freaked out when you were talking to your Mom on the porch."

"It wasn't about that," I reply. My cheeks are warm. I hate that the thought of him does that to me.

Ana grins at me and it eerily reminds me of my Aunt Johanna. "You were talking about him, weren't you?"

I shake my head. "No. It's hard to think about him."

"Why?" We crawl under the fencing and we head over to my Uncle Gale's snares. "How can anyone not fall for you?"

"I have no experience with boys, first off."

Dating is tricky for Ana and me. Our fathers can be- for lack of a better word-scary. It is kind of sad how little we know about relationships especially for Ana who gets appreciative looks from men of all ages. Her hair is long and dark and her almond brown eyes can be described as smoldering. Her figure is fit and she walks gracefully wherever she goes. She looks exotic and mysterious.

As for me, I give off a little bit of a mousey vibe. I am clumsy because of my long limbs. My mother wasn't very feminine so I know nothing of makeup or clothes. I prefer my black jeans and olive hunting jacket that my parents gave me when I was sixteen.

Also who wants to date two girls when one of them can shoot a squirrel right through the eye and the other one can throw an axe at lightning speed?

Just being us, we can be pretty scary ourselves.

"Not to mention, I'm not exactly the greatest pick in the litter," I continue. I don't know why I put myself down like this but at times I am totally insecure. Sometimes it can be hard to be the daughter of my parents who have accomplished so much.

Ana stops in her tracks and glares at me. "What the hell is wrong with you Zoe?" She had my Aunt's mouth. She put her hands on her hips. "Do you know how gorgeous you are?"

"Jeez Ana, do you kiss Cade with that mouth?" I retort.

"Can you be quiet? You never know who is lurking around!" She grins wickedly at me though and her cheeks blush prettily.

Cade is an officer in the Justice Building and one of the associates of the Mayor. He is two years older than Anastasia.

Did I mention that my Uncle Gale is the mayor?

So there is a bit of a conflict of interest. They have managed to keep their relationship a secret with both my help and my Aunt Johanna's who is sympathetic to the situation. She knows how our fathers can act.

"We're not talking about me right now," Ana says and grabs my shoulders. "You are beautiful. That dark hair, those big blue eyes and that skin, you need to look at yourself more positively." Her eyes meet mine. "If he isn't head over heels for you than he is dumber than I thought."

"He is not dumb!" I protest.

"And you are a beautiful woman," she assures me. "Now repeat after me. I am Zoe Mellark and I am one hot piece of ass."

"Ana…" She gives me a stern look and I sigh. "I am Zoe Mellark and I am one hot piece—" I stop and she glares. "—of ass."

Ana pulls me into her arms embracing me tightly. "That's my girl! Now let's do some hunting."

We spent the rest of the afternoon hunting. Ana finds a raccoon hanging from her snare and I manage to get a few squirrels. My dad loves them.

"I'm really going to miss this," I tell her sadly and Ana takes a deep breath. I know her. She is trying to not cry. Always the tough girl.

"Me too Zo," she says in a small voice. "I'm really going to miss you too."

I pull her into a hug and she takes a shaky breath against me. She is like the big sister I never had.

When we pull away, she hastily wipes her eyes and hooks her free arm in mine. Our game is being held with our other hands.

"We better get going," Ana tells me. "I can't deal with all this sappiness."

I grin at her pronouncement. It is code for she loves me.

++++++

When I enter the house, I can hear Mitchy at the piano. I place my game bag in the kitchen before walking into the living room. He is sitting at the piano unaware that I'm in the room. It is what happens when he in his zone. Mitchy is just like my Dad. When he is thinking about something, he channels it into something else.

For my Dad, it is painting and for Mitchy, it is playing the piano.

I wait patiently because I know that he is in his own little world. My brother has a sensitive soul though he tries not to show it. For my mother's birthday a few years ago, we threw a little showcase for my parents. I was taking ballet classes at the time so I did a very mediocre dance.

When it was my brother's turn, he stood up proudly and began to sing the Valley song. His voice was so strong and pure for a child of eight but he managed like my mother to make the birds go quiet. When he was through, my Mom had tears running down her face. My Dad was grinning like a madman.

I was in awe.

Every time I hear Mitchy, I am amazed by the sheer power in his voice and it makes me proud.

The music has stopped and I look up to see Mitchy staring at me. "You okay sis?"

"Yes," I tell him and walk over. "I just love hearing you play. I wish that I had that kind of passion in something."

He pats the piano bench indicating that I should sit. "You do. I see it in your eyes when you've helped someone fight a fever or when a kid scrapes his knee and you fix it up. You like to be the cure Zoe. I'm damn proud of you."

"Don't let our parents hear you curse." I give him a very stern look before it falls into an easy grin.

"I was rummaging through this collection of old music that Uncle Gale brought back and I found this song that reminded me of you," he said to her. "It was a faster song but then another singer covered it and made it a slow one."

"Let's hear it then."

"I'll sing the part that reminds me of you." Mitchy begins and he lets the music float out of his fingers. The tune is deep and solid. It makes me sad already and he hasn't even started singing.

Some boys take a beautiful girl  
Only to hide her away from the rest of the world  
Not me, I want to be the one in the sun  
Girls, they want to have fun…

I am in tears when he stops playing. "That's you sis. You're the one who needs to be in the sun." He takes my hand. "It's your turn to shine. It's your turn to be 'The Girl on Fire'."

"I'm not Mom." It comes out in a whisper. My brother doesn't act like a thirteen year old. He can be very mature when he wants to be.

"I know," he tells me. "Zo, you have no idea. The effect you can have." I wipe my eyes as he reaches under the piano bench. "I have something for you." He hands me a box. "It's not much but it something to remind you of your very cool brother." I laugh as he waggles his eyebrows at me.

Tentatively, I press my hands against the box before opening it. I pull out a frame and look at the photo. "It's the dream." Memories of me dancing in the meadow while a toddler Mitchy giggles around me flash through my mind. In the memory, I can see my Mom watching from afar. Her eyes are distant as my Dad takes photo after photo of us before he wraps his arms around her waist.

When I ask her where she went in her mind, she tells me that she dreamt of us dancing in the field long ago.

"Found it while I was rummaging through the attic," my brother tells me. "I also found some weird red underwear." I giggle and he is laughing also. "Our parents are freaks."

"Damned if we don't love them though." I look at the photo again. "Thanks Mitchy." I kiss his cheek. "You know that I love you, right?"

"Of course," he says to me. "I mean, how could you not?"

I punch his arm. "You're so full of shit, Mitchum." I only call him that when I'm really annoyed with him or am trying to serious.

"I should tell Mom what a bad example you are." He puts a gangly arm around my shoulders. "Good thing you're leaving before you truly dirty up my innocent mind." Mitchy looks down and then back at me before I can spot his tears. "I really love you too." He goes back to looking at the keys of the piano.

"Oh Mitchy." I am throwing my arms around him.

"Okay, let's cut all this sappy crap."

"Mitchum!" We look up to see my parents looking at my brother sternly.

My brother meets my eyes and I sigh. One last time.

"Oh shit." It's coming out of my mouth suddenly and my Mom turns a weird shade of red. She's been especially moody because of the 'oopsie' baby.

Now I'm in trouble.

The things I do for my brother.

++++++

My Mom wasn't really mad and she swears more than any of us so she lets it pass. Mitchy decides to help my Dad because they want my last dinner to be a surprise.

Instead of spying on them I go into my room and start taping up some more boxes. I hear a knock on my door and it's both of my parents.

I smile at them. "Have you come to help?"

"Is there anything that you think you'll need when you're there?" my Mom asks me as she sits on my bed which is neatly made. My stuffed duck sits limply on the bed.

"I don't think so," I tell her as I tape a box up. My Dad has joined me and is taping boxes slowly.

My mother is still worried. "Are you sure?" She looks around. "Blankets,extra scrubs, toothpaste?"

"I have everything I need." Then I realize something. They are both worried. I love them for it. "Mom, Dad, I am fully prepared for this. I'll be okay. I'm strong. You taught me how to be."

At this point, they are sitting on my bed and are in tears. I take both their hands because I want to assure them. There is a point in your life when the children start taking care of the parents.

This is that point for me.

"Your room is so empty." Mom wipes her eyes. "It is hitting us for the billionth time but it still doesn't make it any easier." She squeezes my hand. "I am so damn proud of you."

"I thought I wasn't supposed to curse." I put my head on her shoulder. My Dad put his arm around both of us. He has been able to do that since I was a kid. I guess it's because both of my Mom and I are so petite.

"We've ruined you," my Dad replies with a laugh. "We tried to be good examples and we failed hideously. "

"Yes, I am the bad seed." My Mom and I giggle together and my Dad can't help but chuckle at us two.

"Birds of a feather," he says.

"Stick together," Mom finishes for him.

The two of them share a smile. I jump from the bed so I'm out of the kissing range. They kiss quickly before blushing when they realize that their daughter is in the room.

I cross my arms with a smile. "You two are unbelievably cute but gross."

"How do you think you got here?"

"I don't know." I lean back against my dresser and look at them. "Maybe it has something to do with a tree in the woods…"

"Who told you?" Mom is jumping up from the bed in shock. Dad is sitting on the bed and his usually ivory complexion is bright red.

Now I'm shocked. "It's true!"

"Well it wasn't planned," Dad supplied. "It sort of happened."

"I hope this reasoning holds up when I run away with my lover."

They both pale.

"Please tell me you're joking," Mom says. "Or I swear after I'm done giving birth I'm coming to District Four with my bow and arrows."

"You know it's not true," I tell her and sit back in-between them. I pick at the sweater I'm wearing. "How do you know when it's right?"

My parents' eyes meet. It's weird that they can communicate like this. However they did fight together in an arena for their lives. So I guess you gain some sort of psychic ability with one another.

"When you can't survive without them," my Dad finally says.

There's a knock on the door and Mitchy peeks his head in. "Dinner's on and we have Hawthornes in the house."

My parents get up and I follow.

Suddenly Mom turns to me. "So who told you?"

"Aunt Johanna," I tell her as I exit the room and she is turning redder by the second.

My Aunt is going to get it.

"Also, Mitchy found something red and lacy up in the attic. You might want to explain that to him," I tell them before I close the door on their stunned faces.

++++++

"Thank you everyone for coming," my dad says at the head of the table. "We are here to wish Zoe good luck as she begins her journey to become a Doctor. He turns to me. "We are so proud of you—"

"Peeta, her train leaves at ten," Aunt Johanna interrupts. "We don't have all night."

"You," my Mom says angrily. "You told her about the tree."

"She is an adult Katniss," my Aunt responds with a smile. Aunt Johanna knows exactly how to bait my mother. "Like she hasn't snuck into the woods to do something of a lesser degree."

I turn red.

"Dinner's ready," my Uncle Gale suddenly stands up after Mitchy signals him. My Dad joins them in the kitchen.

My Uncle is the Peacemaker of the family. My Aunt Johanna is the troublemaker.

They're perfect for each other.

Ana raises her eyebrows at me. "You dirty bird."

"It was just a kiss," I tell them. "Let's all calm down."

"Don't tell your father," my Mom says to me. "You shut your mouth too Johanna." Then she turns to me after a glare battle with my Aunt. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

I sink into my seat. "Yes Mom."

The men return with plates of my favorite food, blueberry pancakes. Actually Ian and Bertram are slapping each other with their pancakes while Mitchy, my Dad and Uncle Gale carry the rest of the pancakes.

"Both of you sit down," my Aunt tells the boys who are still hitting one another. She turns to my Uncle. "If they could be as well behaved as Ana is."

Ana smirks and I nearly choke on my drink. If only they knew.

++++++

It takes eight people to complete cleaning out my room. All the boxes are neatly stacked thanks to my Dad and my Uncle Gale. I see them chatting as they pile the boxes on one end of the room. Once upon a time, they were rivals for my Mom. Now they love her in different way; one as brother and the other as her soul mate.

I look over at Mitchy with Ian and Bertram as they play a game of poker using candies as their form of currency. My Uncle Gale taught the twins who in turn taught my brother.

My Mom wasn't very happy with that.

Aunt Johanna and my Mom are arguing over the proper way to fold my sweaters though they are not actually folding anything. Ana is actually folding the sweaters and tossing them in a box next to her.

I suddenly feel overwhelmed and grab my stuffed duck. Holding it close to my chest, I sit on the bed and watch my family mill about.

How can I survive without them? They're my whole world.

"Hey, no tears." It's Ana and she puts an arm around me. "I can see it in your eyes."

"I'm really going to miss this."

She looks around the room skeptically. "This? Our Dads talking about the latest rulings in the Capitol? Our Moms not agreeing on anything? The poker game?"

"Yup. Every damn thing." I look at my stuffed duck. "I guess this means goodbye."

Walking over to my Mom, I hold out my stuffed duck. "I can't bring this with me," I tell her. "It's time to let this go."

"Oh baby, you don't have to," my mom says tenderly. "You can keep it."

I shake my head. "That's the thing, Mom. I'm not a baby anymore." I urged her to take it. "Here. For the 'oopsie' baby." She searches my eyes before taking it.

I look at my watch. It's the same watch that my Grandma gave me to time my Mom's contractions. "We should get going. The train will be coming along."

"Right," my Aunt Johanna says and puts her arm around me. "Everyone, let's get a move on." My Dad and Uncle Gale grab my suitcases while Mitchy ushers the twins out.

Aunt Johanna winks at me before joining Ana out in the hallway.

I look at my room. There's nothing left of me in the room except for my tent and the painting of my Mom. I use to wish that the painting would talk back when I was kid. I would tell her everything.

Then I feel my mom take my hand. The woman standing in front of me with the olive skin and the bulging stomach is much better. She puts an arm around me and kisses the side of my head.

I turn off the light and close the door to my childhood.

++++++

"Call us when you get there alright?" my Dad says as I get ready to board.

"Of course, Daddy," I tell him. He hands me a bag and I peek in. Cheese buns. Looking up, my Dad is in tears. "I'll be back delivering the 'oopsie' baby before you know it."

"Be careful love." My mom embraces me. "Don't talk to strangers and watch all your stuff on the train."

I nod as the train whistle echoes. "I better get on soon."

Going to Mitchy, I kiss his cheek and hug him tightly. When I come back, he will be a man. "Write me or call me. Tell me if you get anywhere with Amaya." The last part I whisper in his ear so my parents don't hear.

"Be careful out there sis,"Mitchy tells me. "Make sure to tell any pretty girls about your really handsome younger brother." His tone is joking but I can see his eyes are somber. "It won't be the same without you."

"I know." I punch his arm playfully though I feel my eyes water. "I love you Mitchum."

"Love you too Zo."

I walk over to Uncle Gale who hugs me tightly lifting me off the ground. His temples are beginning to grey but he is still very handsome. "Take care of yourself little one."

"I'm not so little anymore Uncle Gale," I tell him in a quiet voice.

"You're always little to me." He grins and pats my head.

Aunt Johanna pulls me into a tight hug. "Give em hell kid. Show them that you're more than the kid of two Victors."

I nod and my throat is tight. Finally, I go to Ana. "Don't run off and marry Cade without me, okay?"

She laughs through her tears. "Of course not! I'll have to kidnap you from District Four to be my Maid of Dis-honor," she says quietly. We giggle as we hold one another. "Give him hell Zoe."

"What are you talking about?" Her Dad asks us.

"Ana getting married," I say simply and the whistle from the train overrides the yell of my Uncle Gale.

I walk over to the end of the platform ready to enter the train. Some force makes me turn around. My parents stand together watching me with the same expression. For a moment, I see them as teenagers. My mom in her blue dress and my Dad in his white collar shirt with his best slacks. Then my vision wavers and I see them as they are now. My brother is in-between them.

My feet lead me and I am pulling them all in for a hug. "I love you. I love you to the moon," I tell them as I sob.

I can feel them enfold me. My Dad is kissing the top my head and I can feel my Mom's tears against my skin. My brother's head is against my chest.

The conductor is calling everyone to board. I pull away and wipe my eyes before walking onto the train. I find an empty chair and go to the window waving frantically. My family waves back and I can see that I have the biggest group wishing me farewell.

I meet my Mom's eyes and she blows me a kiss. I thank the sky for the day that the train brought her back to me.

++++++

As the train takes me away, I watch the scenery change before me. When I sleep, I dream of the dead. They follow me on my journey and little by little I start to feel not as alone.

_Grandpa Haymitch is sitting in the seat right next to me. "I'm so proud of you." His face looks fuller and his eyes brighter._

_"What if I fail?" I ask him._

_"You're giving yourself the opportunity to do something great. To really make a difference," he replies and I rest my head on his shoulder. "That's already a triumph kid and I couldn't be happier."_

I open my eyes and it is dark out. We are just passing District 11 and I think of Miss Rue as my eyes close again.

_"How was the kiss?" she asks me excitedly. Miss Rue has aged with me and she is now a beautiful young woman with big almond shape eyes._

_"It was perfect." The memory of a moonlight kiss in the forest enters my mind. His lips are soft and I can tell his resistance is wavering._

_"Do you love him?" I nod and my eyes water. She takes my hand. "What's wrong?"_

_"He doesn't want me."_

_"He's lying," she tells me. "You know it too. You're just scared."_

_"Scared of what?"_

_"Scared that he might love you back."_

My eyes snap open and its daylight but we are going through a forest. We're in District Seven, my Aunt Johanna's District. I inhale the cheese buns that my Dad gave me and my stomach is grateful for some sustenance.

I'm not scared.

It's all very new to me. I never had a real boyfriend. I've had a few dates for Spring and Winter dances. I've had a lot of awkward kisses.

The difference with this kiss was that I didn't mean for it to mean so much. I close my eyes and I can feel the trunk of the tree against my back. It's the night of my eighteenth birthday and I'm an adult now. There is nothing stopping me now and I am determined.

His lips barely brushed mine before I pull him in again for another one. Because he has awaken something in me and it's like a fire in my belly. It's strange but not unpleasant.

It's actually completely opposite of unpleasant.

_"You're in love," my Aunt Prim says and she too has aged. Her hair is down in golden waves and she is wearing the dress my mom wore on Reaping Day._

_"How do you know?"_

_"You can't survive without him," she tells me. "You're just scared to feel."_

_"I'm only eighteen." I look into her bright eyes. "What if it doesn't work out?" I look down and realize my hands are shaky. "I don't know if I can handle being hurt by him."_

_"You are braver than you think." She lifts my chin so our eyes can meet. "You just have to be willing to take a chance. To make a bet. To play the game." Aunt Prim kisses my cheek. "By the way, tell your Mom to not name her Primrose. I do like flower names though."_

The train jerks and I awake suddenly. We are pulling into District Four. I look out and see that the sun is just beginning to set. When we have come to a complete stop, I pull my bags from the overhead compartment. I am exhausted though I have spent a majority of the time asleep on the train.

I just want to hear my parents' voices even if it's only on the phone.

Carefully with my bags in hand, I step off the train. My first stesp onto solid ground are shaky. My Grandma should be here with my Grandpa Arthur. Passengers from my train walk around my small frame reuniting with their loved one.

I look around and the crowd parts.

And I see him standing there.

Suddenly I am four again and I'm in my red dress with my hair in two braids. This time I'm not hiding behind my father's leg when he comes towards me.

"Hello Zoe." His green eyes meet mine and I'm against that tree again in my mind waiting for him.

"Hello Finn." My heart is beating a mile a minute. "Bribe my Grandparents to stay home?"

He gives me a flirty grin and I can see my Mom rolling her eyes. Finn is a carbon copy of his father and his antics towards my Mom were legendary though all in good fun.

"Might have."

I hold out my bags and he takes them easily brushing my hands with his as he does.

I turn and begin to walk out of the station as I hide my grin. I hear his footsteps as he tries to catch up with me. Let him chase me because I've chased him long enough.

I am truly my father's daughter. From the moment he took my hand as a little girl, I was goner. There has been no one else because my heart was already his.

And I'm my mother's daughter; I will guard my heart until I know it is right. I will let him come to me.

Finn is rushing to catch up as we walk and suddenly he takes my hand. It warms my heart.

I look forward not knowing what is ahead of me. What is ahead for us. For now, I will make the bet. I will take the chance. I will play the game.

Because as my Mom once said to me, her dark grey eyes serious.

There are much worse games to play.

FIN.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

website: jlala.webs.com

Tumblr: jlalafics.tumblr.com

Twitter: twitter.com/jlalafics

It's over. I feel a bit bittersweet about it.

I hope you've enjoyed the world I've created within the Hunger Games Trilogy.

The song that Mitchum sings to Zoe is a cover sung by Greg Laswell of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun".

'Oopsie' baby…maybe I should do a one shot of her birth.

I always imagined grown-up Zoe looking like Alexis Bledel from Gilmore Girls. I imagine that grown-up Ana looks like Nina Dobrev.

Thank you all for your PM's, alerts, and reviews. They meant the world to me.

I will be working on my AU soon but I've been working very hard to put this epilogue out.

So for now, I wish you farewell.

Reviews, PM's alerts are welcome. They're all love to me.

-JLaLa


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